Colorado Avalanche center Peter Forsberg is retiring. Again. For reals, this time.

Forsberg was arguably the best two-way player in the NHL during his heyday, leading the Avalanche to Stanley Cup titles in 1996 and 2001, and earning both the Hart Trophy and league MVP in 2003.

He started having problems with his right foot over the next few years and ended up going back to his native Sweden after appearing in nine regular-season games and seven postseason games in 2007-08. Forsberg played for his hometown club MoDo the past couple of years and his foot held up enough that he decided to give the NHL another shot.

–ESPN.

Forsberg’s comeback lasted all of two games, both on the road, tallying a minus-4 rating and no points. On the bright side, he still has a pretty sweet goatee and a hairstyle that would draw the envy of any West Virginian. The 37-year-old may return to his old Swedish team, MoDo, who did not write the 1980 hit “Whip It.” Just thought I’d point that out.

*He probably will.

Brett Favre told team officials last night that he will not play for the Minnesota Vikings in 2010, marking the first time since July 8 that LeBron James has not been the most hated man in sports. Various media outlets are reporting that Favre claims that his 40-year old body is the reason for his decision and I’m reporting that he’s going to change his mind 67 times before the season begins, the media will blow him, and then once the season starts the media will call him a drama queen. Call it a hunch.

ESPN is also reporting that Favre has been texting his Vikings teammates for the past week, and tomorrow they’ll report that he had Cheerios for breakfast and on Thursday that he pleasured himself to a Roxette CD. Favre’s agent had no comment on the announcement news, presumably because he’s had himself lobotomized to save himself from the pain of being Brett Favre’s agent.

Start the next month of aggravation, USA Today:

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