Junior Seau, presumably staring off at the farm that NBC think he lives on.

NBC has gone to great lengths to put together an informative country-by-country breakdown of the 2012 Summer Olympics, with each nation’s athletic history being profiled on the network’s Olympics website. For example: did you know that Liechtenstein does not have any athletes at the Summer Olympics and, therefore, will not contend for any medals? That’s some incredible insight right there.

Other countries obviously have a significant wealth of information available, and that’s great, because most of us probably don’t know a lot about a territory like, say, American Samoa. So what would NBC have us learn about such a place and the great athletes that it has produced?

Consists of seven small islands about halfway between Hawaii and Sydney. Located 2,300 miles southwest of Honolulu in the South Pacific Ocean and is the most southerly of all lands under American sovereignty.

Became a U.S. territory in 1900 by a treaty with the United Kingdom and Germany. Until 1951, was under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Navy. American Samoans are considered U.S. nationals, not U.S. citizens. Since 1981, has had a non-voting delegate in the U.S. House of Representatives.

The most famous person from American Samoa is the former Miami Dolphins linebacker Junior Seau, who now is now retired after playing for the New England Patriots.

I guess “retired” isn’t false. I’m just not sure that “is now retired” is the right way to describe Seau’s current situation. Perhaps “who retired after playing for the New England Patriots” might have been the better phrase to avoid using key words like “shotgun” and “chest”, but every site’s editor has his own style, so who am I to nitpick?

Meanwhile, if you’re in the market for a beachside home, Fox News is reporting with some great hyperlinking that Seau’s Oceanside house is for sale for $2.3 million. It’s a beautiful home, but you will have to get used to ESPN filming crying women outside of it every few weeks.

Read the rest of this entry »

According to a continually updating report from TMZ.com, former San Diego Chargers linebacker and NFL 1990s All-Decade Team member Junior Seau has been involved in a possible shooting and may be dead. Whoa.

The report:

Cops in Oceanside, CA are investigating a possible shooting involving former NFL star Junior Seau … law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

We spoke with an investigator in the coroner’s office .. who told us they got a call to respond to the scene … though the details surrounding the situation are still unclear.

Cops are currently at a residence where 43-year-old Junior is believed to be staying.

People in law enforcement are telling us Junior Seau is dead … but we are unable to confirm that right now.

And the update:

11:06 AM PDT — A man just came out of the house appearing extremely distraught … and he is now talking with law enforcement.

This is obviously the worst kind of sports news, and I think I speak for everyone when I hope it’s not as bad as it seems.

UPDATE:

Ugh, now it’s official. TMZ says Junior Seau is dead.

NFL legend Junior Seau was found dead in his home in Oceanside, CA … and a law enforcement source at the scene tells us cops believe he shot himself.

Seau was 43-years-old … and leaves behind 3 kids and an ex-wife.

Every imaginable condolence goes out to Seau’s family.

Former NFL superstar Junior Seau drove his vehicle off a cliff after being charged with domestic violence over the weekend. How unusual for an athlete to service his lady first, and then get his.

Details are still coming in: Seau drove his white Cadillac Escalade off a cliff in near Carlsbad, CA, where he was released from a San Diego County jail on suspicion of domestic violence. Seau’s injuries from the crash are not known at this time.

But yeah, there’s your Toonces photoshop. Hope it was worth the wait.

Future NFL Hall-of-Fame linebacker Junior Seau is expected to come out of retirement this week to sign with the New England Patriots. It will be the 40-year-old’s third tour of duty in Foxboro.

He is entering his 20th NFL season — the majority (13) spent with the San Diego Chargers, three with the Miami Dolphins and four with New England.

Seau was expected to sign after the Patriots gave him a physical and a workout last week.

Seau nixed his retirement last season to play the final four games with New England after playing 27 games with them in 2006-07. via.

Ask any old person–retirement is boring. And really, it’s not like there’s anyplace else in the world where one can slap white people senseless like one can in the NFL. And if he can live the dream for another 11 weeks, then good on him. I guess the rodeo clowning and amateur breast consultations aren’t paying the bills the way working on Sundays will, either. Thanks, Crista.

I don’t understand rodeo. Sure, it’s not bullfighting; it’s much more benevolent to tie a rope to an animal’s genetalia and yank on it than to chase it around with a cape and decapitate it. But really, how much of a “sport” is this? With former NFL linebacker Junior Seau out there, I guess it picks up a bit of legitimacy. But look how he overplays the A gap and the bull dinks a short pass right over his head. I guess some things never change. as seen here.

UPDATE: Alana G tells us this was for a reality show on “Versus.” I assumed he was doing it because he mismanaged his money and spent himself into a depression. Whatev. Alternate [original] video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

I used to think Junior Seau was pretty awesome. He was always such a huge figure in San Diego when I spent my weekends there. Then he retired, then unretired, then left San Diego, and I thought he was kind of annoying. But today, I've come full circle. Junior Seau rules.

Two women are suing NFL star Junior Seau, claiming that the future Hall of Famer drunkenly called them "female-specific profanities" and tossed drinks on them during a bar confrontation last year…  a footnote in the document [quotes] what Seau reportedly said to the Roes. "Put your shirt on, your tits are too small!" he allegedly counseled Jane Roe #1. Jane Roe #2 allegedly received this fitness advice: "Get on a treadmill you cunt!"

Believe it or not, I would never say anything like this. It's just disrespectful (I mean, who tells a woman to put a shirt on?).

But I think it's great that confident men like Seau can tell women what he really thinks. Too many girls these days don't have body issues.

(Pictured: Kristin Cavallari, with friend. Put a shirt on! Your tits are too small!)