I really think that if Broncos coach Josh McDaniels was a few years younger, he never would have gone into coaching football, but instead would have spent his formative years in a college computer lab, learning HTML while fiddling with his GeoCities site (uh, not speaking from experience or anything). Because his mastery of the F word is terrific. And if you’re curious about McDaniels’ abilities at winning motherfugging games, his Broncos had lost four straight before finally righting the ship last night, beating the Giants, 26-6. The Giants, apparently, were content to lose this motherfugging game; New York now have dropped five of their last six. Tip of the unbuckled belt to Last Angry Fan.

There were no big shockers in the two other NFL games from Gobble Gobble Day: Green Bay threw for 348 yards while blowing out Detroit and Oakland got stomped by the Cowboys. Pat yourself on the back if you started Donald Driver (142 yards receiving, 1 TD) or Miles Austin (145, 1 TD) in fantasy this week. And if you didn’t, well, maybe a cold turkey sandwich will make you feel better. Because there’s nothing better on the day after eating a metric ton of turkey…than more turkey.

We haven’t said much about this feud between new Broncos coach Josh McDaniels and his quarterback, noted diabetic and Grumpy Gus Jay Cutler. Basically McDaniels stood by while the Broncos front office tried to shop Cutler on the free agent market, and when Jay found out, he went to his room and he hasn’t come out since. So ESPN is reporting that there was a conference call on Monday to try and patch things up. How did that go?

A Broncos source with knowledge of the discussions said that two sides did not grow further apart in Monday’s conference call and that issues were discussed openly and it was re-emphasized to Cutler he will not be traded.

The first source said McDaniels wouldn’t confirm or deny whether the Broncos initiated the trade talks. The Broncos did, though, tell Cutler that every player on the team could be traded and he could be traded at any time. Still, Denver owner Pat Bowlen also stated in the conversation that Cutler will not be traded. The Broncos publicly said Cutler will not be traded last week as the Cutler trade frenzy was in full force.

So how does Cutler feel now? He…wants to be traded, or given some kind of long-term commitment from the Broncos. What kind of commitment, like a promise ring? Or just give him the old, “Nothing’s wrong, baby” and wait until he leaves town and then sleep with his best friend. This is why you never move in with a girl until you’re 50. Especially if she’s a quarterback.