photo credi: ImpactWrestling.com

Hello lovelies! It’s been too long. I’ve returned from the land of gross and incapacitating illnesses, and I brought a Best and Worst with me! T-shirts were sold out. Sorry.

A few things:

- The Mandible Claw was also on hiatus this week, given that the only things I could do were self-medicate and not move from the warm, comforting embrace of my couch. You should still check it out, though! It’s gonna be a good week next week, especially if you enjoy Chikara (you should), and me not sounding like Marianne Faithfull with post-nasal drip (you really should; it was weird).

- Everyone likes Chris Trew, yeah? And everyone likes fake sex with willing imaginary participants, yeah? Donate to the Air Sex Championship Documentary Kickstarter. Or don’t. But it’d be great if you did. Chris Trew is nice, and I want him to have nice things.

- I like Twitter. Twitter is easy. It’s also easy to follow me here. Follow With Leather, because Brandon and Burnsy are fun dudes, and UPROXX, because everyone loves Simon Pegg gifs.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, more Joseph Park, and some other stuff I guess.

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Hola! I do not speak Spanish! I do, however, have an entire Impact report just for you! Some pre-show notes before we start:

- There are 15 days left in the Meet Me There IndieGoGo drive. For those of you who aren’t aware, my very dearest friend/ our favourite With Leather Editor has written a movie, and it’s really, really good. It also stars Goldust, and hey, he’s a guy a lot of people like. If you’ve got a few dollars to spare, toss it their way and help it be the best movie it can be.

- Speaking of cool stuff for you cool cats to do, check out The Mandible Claw! We have fun stuff happening, amazing contributors, and a podcast. This week we were on vacation, but now is the best time to familiarize yourself before we return next week relaxed, rejuvenated, and funky fresh.

- Social Media is all the rage these days. Should you like to find out what I’m up to, send any questions, or even better, send gifs of cats on treadmills, I can be found on Twitter here. You can also follow With Leather (do it!), and UPROXX (also do that!). Sharing is caring, so be sure to like and share this on Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, billboards, the sides of bridges, abandoned mine shafts, bathroom stalls, and wherever else you can think of.

This week on Impact: Corpus Christi proves why they shouldn’t be allowed to have nice things, Taryn Terrell reminds us that we can’t have nice things, and Joseph Park shows up so I can say at least some nice things. COSAS BONITAS!

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Hello! Is it an Impact column you’re looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. And I want to tell you so much….the following pre-show notes:

- Haven’t voted in With Leather’s Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament? Unsure who to vote for? Might I recommend two podcasts of a combined three hour length that will tickle your funny bone and fill you with mental images of me fighting Haystacks Calhoun? No? Well, you should listen anyways, because they’re pretty great. I know it seems like a long time, but hey, toss it on during a commute. A lunch break. Take a road trip, see something fun, and listen to Brandon’s dead-on Matt Hardy impersonation. And hey, while you’re doin’ stuff, you should check out the rest of The Mandible Claw. Wrestling! Wrestlers! It’s all there!

- Another thing you should do, as I am apparently an expert on that now, is donate a little (or a lot) of money to Brandon’s movie project. It’s not often that you get to be a part of someone living their dream, and every little bit helps. I have read the script, and boy howdy is this something you should want to see come to fruition. It’s good, guys. I know you’re here for rassles talks, which some of you have made clear in some less than kind ways, however this is something that is truly important to me, and I hope you’ll help in any way you can. Even if you can’t give, or can’t give right now, sharing, blogging, tweeting – all of these will help bolster awareness, and hopefully what was once just an idea can become a fully realized piece of art.

- Speaking of sharing and tweeting, we like those a whole bunch when it comes to the Best and Worst. While you’re at it, why not make it easier by following us on Twitter? I’m over here, With Leather is over there, and off in the distance you can just make out where UPROXX is.

This week on Impact: Video packages that are way better than they have any right to be, more video packages, and maybe some wrestling in between those video packages. Roll tape!

Hello hello hello! Welcome back to the Best & Worst of TNA Impact, alternately known as “Jesus Christ, are we still in the UK?” A few things before we get to the (thankfully) final installment under the monarchy.

- I went to 2CW’s Niagara Falls show last week, and this is a thing that happened! For those of you who regularly read this column, you’ll know that this is pretty much one of the best things that could ever happen, and it’s a miracle I am writing this week because my heart almost burst from sheer joy. As an aside, please note that I am 5’2 ¾”, and he is officially listed at a cool Danny Briere 5’9. Mmhmm. Okay Spikey.

- While I was hanging out in a wrestling ring with Spike Dudley and fangirling over Jojo Bravo at a merch table with the effervescent Rachel Summerlyn, Brandon got to go to Elimination Chamber and a WWE press conference. He did a TOTALLY CONTROVERSIAL podcast about these experiences that you should listen to here. He also got to meet Big Show and Mark Henry, and had I not done the aforementioned, I would probably ragequit the internet from blind jealousy. You can listen to his fun and less divisive podcast about that here. Chris Trew is involved, and hey, we all love that guy (we should all love that guy).

- Twitter is a nifty little thing, and if you think so too, you should absolutely follow me here. With Leather is good times and occasionally posts about cats on treadmills (the best kinds of posts), so follow them here, and our UPROXX mothership here. Like us on Facebook, rock the tumblr, and share (or whatever the verb is) on Reddit, too. We like shares and follows and likes and such, so do it as much as you can! You can even use buzzwords and get proactive and in your face about it!

- Shout-out to Wrestling Bro Prime Casey for the GIFs.

This week on Impact: A title changes hands, Joseph Park flies, and after some serious consideration, a #1 contender is picked for the World Heavyweight Championship. Onwards and upwards, my friends!

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Reminder: She's the referee.

Cheerio! ‘ello Guvnah! Whatever stereotypical British greeting you’d like me to give! I hope you all had a wonderful week, and a very special Anna Howard Shaw Day. A few things before we get on to the (thankfully) final episode from the UK.

- This weekend I will be heading across the border for Squared Circle Wrestling’s Heat Wave (scroll to the bottom for the card) event in Niagara Falls, NY. Jessica Havok! Christina Von Eerie! Rachel f’n Summerlyn! SPIKE DUDLEY! If there’s no report next week, it will be because my heart literally folded in on itself like an Autobot transforming. If you like the idea of seeing any of these wrestlers, and also hanging out in American Niagara at a bar that doesn’t even have a website, then by all means come out, say hello, enjoy some badass ladies and little Spikey, and hope our cars don’t get broken into!

- This week at The Wrestling Blog, I interviewed ACW’s own Jack Jameson. Head on over, watch some fun matches, and compliment him on his full and manly beard. I’ve been close to it in person and it’s nothing short of glorious.

- So this Social Media fad is pretty fun and far out, so why not get on board and follow me on twitter? With Leather is here, and UPROXX is also worth a follow. We also appreciate likes and shares and up votes and all those good things, so hit as many buttons as possible when prompted. It helps spread the word, and lets me keeping doing things like posting pictures of myself eating a burrito on a legit sports comedy website.

This week on Impact: In what feels like the longest UK tour ever, Hogan kind of sort of makes a tournament, shows that his poopies face isn’t just for disapproval, and gets lost in the hallways of Wembley Arena. Find out if he chooses an opponent for Jeff Hardy at Lockdown or gets committed to an assisted care facility after the jump!

Hello again, lovelies! My apologies for not being able to write last week’s column. As you know, Brandon and I attended National Pro Wrestling Day in Philadelphia, and traveling took away any opportunity to write. A few things:

- National Pro Wrestling Day, despite having some brief, gross, unpleasantness (I’m looking at you, Resistance Pro), was a wonderful experience full of great wrestling, hanging with old and new Wrestling Bros, sharing Halloween costume photos with Dasher Hatfield, and somehow becoming Kobald’s Valentine. Jervis Cottonbelly, the World’s Sweetest Man, was also there, and if any of you know anything about me, it’s that I was elated to indulge in some Gentlemania. If you haven’t checked it out, I encourage everyone to purchase it here, and get a taste of something wonderful we got to be a part of.

- Speaking of lovely masked fellows, you should head on over to The Wrestling Blog, where I wrote a thing you should read.

- Do you like the Social Media? Do you understand it better than Hulk Hogan? Why not follow me on Twitter? Or perhaps With Leather and/or UPROXX for all of your entertainment needs? There is a 27% chance we will tweet a picture of Brooke Hogan’s legs, and only a 3% chance we’ll get defensive about it.

- As always, comments, likes, tweets, shares, and tumbls are always appreciated. This may not be the best show or the best report, but if you’re desperately curious as to what I do to procrastinate, hoo boy you best get to reading!

This week on Impact: We’re (not so) live in the UK! Some boring stuff happens, tumbleweeds drift by, something you won’t ever remember probably happens, and then something happens THAT WILL SHAKE ME TO MY VERY CORE.

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