horrifying photo credit: Shutterstock.com
Look at this guy. Haven’t you always wanted to smell like him? Now you can!
Today’s Dugout is after the jump.
Two important notes:
1. I did not make this up, I swear to God.
2. The Dugout template is being difficult, so please excuse our mess.
And now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together (and sometimes watch them play softball). It’s Sports On TV: the 15 greatest sports moments of Arrested Development.
It’s impossible to overstate the brilliance and cultural impact of ‘The Simpsons’. It’s the reason why most of us think what we think is funny is funny, whether we’ll admit it or not.
It’s just as impossible to agree on what constitutes the “golden age” of the show. Everyone agrees that there’s a certain time frame in which ‘The Simpsons’ was the best show on television (and possibly ever), but we all have a different interpretation of when that era started and stopped. Some people think it was the first 9 or 10 season. Some people narrow that down to 1-8. Some people with impossible f**king standards think it peaked from seasons 3-5, or even 4.
For this week’s Sports On TV column, I used the most generally agreed-upon definition of the show’s prime: season 2 through season 8. Tackling the best sports moments of a monster like ‘The Simpsons’ is tough, so consider this a Part 1 of its own series, destined to include a Part 2, Part 3, and even a Part 4, should we delve into those wretched, later season guest star hives like “Homer and Ned’s Hail Mary Pass”.
So please enjoy the 20 best sports moments from the golden age of ‘The Simpsons,’ and be sure to drop us a comment and share your love. Special thanks to Ari Amaru for the screencaps.
For as much as people make fun of Jose Canseco’s sometimes insane ramblings or pathetic attempts at begging Major League GMs to sign him, I do have a soft spot for the guy’s sweeter moments. Like, remember when he would talk about his beloved Leila? You know, before he tried to hook up with random girls via Twitter? I always thought that showed a side of the old lug that people needed to see more, so we didn’t always equate him to an insane juicer capable of snapping and rampaging small villages at any moment.
In this week’s Vice column, the eventual Pulitzer winner (hopefully for his shocking exposés on the government) elaborates on a very random – more random than usual – Tweet that he posted the other day:
If you were hoping that Canseco was going to deliver the Flux Capacitor, I have bad news. Time travel, according to Canseco, is possible, but only if your mind is as powerful as his.
As I pointed out last week, Jose Canseco, the former baseball player who uses Twitter to beg Major League Baseball teams to consider signing a 48-year old designated hitter, now has a new gig as a columnist for Vice. In his debut at that site last week, Canseco weighed in on the necessity of guns in the wake of the Aurora, CO shooting. Canseco’s ultimate point was that if you’re not a juiced up martial artist, you need guns because you’re not an imposing force of fists like he is.
This week, Canseco is back to discuss something that’s more near and dear to his heart – bankruptcy. Canseco admits that he just filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy last week, and that’s shocking. I thought for sure that the guy who was once evicted from his home and needed pro bono legal representation to get his chandeliers back would have been doing just fine. Shows what I know.
Regardless, please allow the man who now claims to be a victim of the government’s evil ways to dispense his incredible amazing financial advice.
Jose Canseco is currently a 48-year old independent league baseball player, which translates to a guy with a lot of time on his hands. Thankfully, he spends most of that time on Twitter, either attacking his haters or trying to win back the heart of his beloved Leila Shennib or meticulously organizing his eventual campaign for president. Of course, he can’t be president, because he was born in Cuba, but that won’t stop him. Nothing will stop him. After all…
The drawback of Twitter is that it only allows us 140 words of Canseco wisdom at a time, but thankfully the people at Vice decided to do the smartest thing possible and give Canseco his own regular column, JOSÉ CAN SAY SO. And the result is pretty damn great.
