I spent every day of my 30′s puttin’ in hard work..
So today, I can turn 40 and say with a big ass smile..
I’m just gettin’ started!
As of this posting, that status has about 90,000 “likes”. Today is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s birthday, and if you haven’t been paying attention … he’s pretty popular.
To help celebrate Rocky’s milestone, we’ve compiled a loosely ordered list of moments, matches and Kung Pao Bitch jokes from his career. Whether you like him or you don’t, it’s hard to deny that he’s one of the most influential and entertaining performers in the history of pro wrestling … and one of two pro wrestlers cool enough to be a G.I. Joe. Three if you count The Fridge.
In addition to using the phrase “Don’t Tread On Me” with zero irony or self-awareness, the song calls out ‘Fox & Friends’ for their “gotcha journalism” (because filming somebody saying something stupid is an underhanded tactic of the liberal media) and sorta indirectly suggests that the only way to keep your family safe is to own a bunch of guns and never watch ‘SportsCenter’. “Yeah, you can keep FOX and Friends and ESPN outta your homes, too” the song announces. “‘Cuz Bocephus and all his rowdy friends and his song is outta there!” I think at one point he stops saying words and just yells “derp” into the microphone, but that might be my brain shutting down.
And about those odds I presented at the end of Monday’s story, he checks off every single one of them before the end of the first verse:
I’ll keep my freedom I’ll keep my guns Try to keep my money And my religion too
ESPN’s Jonathan Coachman should record a left-wing parody of “Who Shot Ya” as a response. I’m willing to write it for him and everything. “Niggas know/the lyrical molesting is taking place/f**kin’ with ESPN/it ain’t safe”.