Next week he’s going to be on Charlie Rose talking about Cet obscur objet du désir.

Anyway, R.A. Dickey, the New York Mets knuckleballer who was so good this year he got a biography, a documentary and the 2012 National League Cy Young Award, showed up on ‘The Daily Show With Jon Stewart’ to discuss his magical super pitch, talk about the permanency of the written word and do his very best to avoid Jon’s nonstop string of HOW ARE THE METS PREPARING TO MAKE ME MISERABLE questions. I don’t blame Jon for asking those questions while he’s got the chance … if I interviewed R.A. Dickey, it’d just be “do you know Mr. Met personally,” followed by 10 minutes of silence.

The full, extended interview (courtesy of TheDailyShow.com). It’s a fascinating look into the life of a legitimately interesting baseball guy, and holy shit I miss baseball. Is it baseball yet?

Read the rest of this entry »

Sports

Carlos Beltran To The Giants - Hopefully by “Giants” they mean “Cleveland Indians”. Jason Fry (as always) said it best, via his Twitter: “Watching Beltran’s final #Mets AB. Hope #sfgiants fans appreciate him more than WFAN morons did. Those of us with a clue will miss him”. [Yardbarker]

Camp Ryan is Back in Business - It’s sort of like a Dugout, but about football and they get to curse as much as they want. Okay, so it’s not really about football. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Submission Namesakes: Five Fighters And The Holds That Bear Their Name - Is the LeBell Lock on this list? What about the Scorpion Deathlock? Urgh, I need to learn more about MMA. [Cage Potato]

If Brett Favre Doesn’t Return, The NFL Shouldn’t Bother To Come Back At All - The best thing about Brett Favre since Michael Vick thought “Brett Farve” should come to Philadelphia and be his back-up. I’ll take it one step further — if Dan Marino doesn’t come out of retirement and give me a football player to like, the NFL should fold completely. [SBN]

With Leather

Poor Little Guys: The Seattle Mariners Losing Streak As Told By Sad Dogs - I’d like to think we single-handedly willed them back into baseball existence. If you haven’t check this out since yesterday, we added an extra dog to reflect Wednesday’s game. [With Leather]

The Dugout by Charles Bukowski - The second in our Celebrity Guest Writers series tackles the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, and was written before they no-hit the Indians. Today’s Dugout is just a picture of me scowling with the words F**K YOU ANGELS underneath in scrolling letters. [The Dugout]

The Best and Worst of Raw 7/25 - It’s Thursday and the comments are still surging, discussing whether CM Punk’s return to the show was “rushed” or just part of the plan. Be sure to check out the comments to these things, because (at least right now) it’s the most sane, peaceful collection of wrestling fans ever. And so many of them think John Cena is gay, I don’t know. [With Leather]

Pine Tree Loses Its Nuts - Want to watch a bear convince a kid he should be a bad sport and kick a tree in the balls? Of course you do. Watch this video. [With Leather]

Not Sports

The Whitest White People Movie In History - New Year’s Eve is the sequel (basically) to Valentine’s Day and features your 60 least favorite white actors and Ludacris. Ludacris is the new Ice Cube, and should give up rapping and just be the wacky uncle on somebody’s terrible sitcom. Can’t turn a ho into a housewife! Hoes don’t act right! [Film Drunk]

Funny, Sexy and Awesome Cosplay Of The Week - I legitimately don’t care about cosplaying women, I’m sharing this because of the people that dressed up like Ice Climbers. Extra points if they have a polar bear wearing sunglasses. [Gamma Squad]

Jon Stewart Turns on President Obama - And I’m not just linking this because he mentions our WONDERFUL FREE FANTASY BASEBALL WITH DRAFTSTREET in the first paragraph. At this point Obama needs to just say “welp” and turn over the country to literally anyone else. You seem like a nice guy, but sh** or get off the pot for God’s sake. [UPROXX]

Summers Eve “Hail To The V” - I don’t want to type “smdh” every day, but I am shaking my damn head so hard at how even our douche commercials have to be irreverent. They’re DOUCHE COMMERCIALS. Not everything has to be the f**king Old Spice Guy. [Smoking Section]

In case you needed more reasons to hate Tim Tebow, here he is on last night’s edition of “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” being affable and talking about how college athletes deserve to ride around on scooters and eat Bloomin’ Onions. Tebow also talks about being the child of missionaries, sponsoring an orphanage, and his predictions for this year’s Denver Broncos (“pretty good”), so basically the worst thing you can say about him here is that his suit doesn’t really fit. I could make fun of him for writing an autobiography (and calling it “Through My Eyes”) at age 23, but I wrote a semi-autobiographical novel when I was 22, and I’m not exactly a storied football star.

At some point you just want Stewart to call him “Tammy Tebow” a bunch of times and get him to flip out and jump over the desk. Hopefully Tebow can get to 46 and still not have any awful stories to tell. And hopefully those Ohio State guys enjoyed their illegal Surf and Turf.

Now let’s skip to the time when I was fifteen. Shaq is in the house… no, Shaq is on the scene! Now my name’s in papers, girls caught the vapors, kids look up to me like a skyscraper. Now, a role model… I mean a role figure. Then I ask myself, “can I get any bigger?”

My dream is coming through, but coming through slowly. Then I remember what Mom and Dad told me: “Remember this, son, do all the runs. Shoot your gift like a gun and never forget where you come from. You’re young, gifted, and black. If they can’t say Shaquille O’Neal then make ‘em scream, ‘Shaq!’”

- Author Unknown (but outstanding)

Sports

LSU To Honor Shaq with a Life-Sized Bronze Statue on Campus - Thank goodness somebody is finally honoring poor Shaquille O’Neal. I hope the statue reads “in honor of a man who became seven feet tall when he was twelve.” [Hoop Doctors]

REWIND: Top 10 Ugliest Mistresses - Shaq’s in here, too. Inspired by “I can’t believe Arnold Schwarzenegger had sex with someone-Gate,” take a look back at some of sports’ (and not sports’) least attractive Other Women. I one day hope to become a successful millionaire and try to secretly sleep with the same ugly women who’d want to secretly sleep with me now. [Urban Daily]

Read the rest of this entry »