After we watched Jon Jones’ big toe roll in a direction that toes aren’t supposed to roll during his first round victory against Chael Sonnen at UFC 159, we figured that it would be a while before he fought again, because it had been reported that he had suffered a serious fracture. Then Jones finished his post-fight pizza and he was all, “It’s not broken, just dislocated” and he claimed that he’d be fighting again in six-to-eight weeks.

Well, if that is true and he is indeed fully recovered within the next month or so, then he may have a special seat at ringside when Anderson Silva faces Chris Weidman, the No. 1 contender to his UFC Middleweight belt, at UFC 162 on July 6. That’s because Dana White has gone from teasing a Georges St-Pierre/Silva superfight to a Jones/Silva superfight.

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Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen have a lovely history. A couple of years ago, Silva gave Sonnen calm, constructive feedback about how the positives of fight promotion don’t outweigh the need to respect your opponents. Sonnen meekly accepted it with a “thank you.” Years later, SUDDENLY~, Sonnen thought Silva’s feedback was a “dirtbag move,” claiming he didn’t know what Silva was actually saying and vowing to “straighten this thing out.” Because, you know, as we’ve seen, Chael Sonnen’s trash talk always leads to something positive for him.

Anyway, word of the call-out has gotten back to Silva, and he responded with a conversational knockout blow on Fuel’s ‘UFC Tonight’:

“Jon Jones and Anderson Silva have been too nice to Chael. I want to suck his blood. I want to smell it. Not just fight – I want to hurt him. Chael is a joke, man. He’s going to be second forever. He’s never going to be first,” Silva said to Ariel Helwani. (via Cagewriter)

Ouch. That’s certainly a more valid and damning criticism than Sonnen’s “he uploaded a video to YouTube without my approval” angle. And check out that swift escalation from “you’re a dirtbag” to “I’m going to drain you of your blood with my mouth and also smell it because I hate you and your life is meaningless.”

Good luck with that, Chael. Maybe you should try calling out Bob Sapp?

In case you missed our amazing, award-winning UFC 159 live discussion (4th runner-up at the Ms. Alaska Recently-Divorced Ladies pageant) and my “Oh please make the GIFs stop” recap on Monday, UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones suffered a bit of an ouchy boo-boo on his toe-toe during his first round TKO of Chael Sonnen last Saturday night.

Originally, it was believed that he had suffered a compound fracture, because the video of his toe snapping looked a lot like Linda Blair’s head spinning around in The Exorcist. However, according to Dr. Robert Klapper, the Chief Orthopedic Surgeon at Cedars-Sinai Hospital, if that is his real name and professional title, it was just a simple dislocation and he’ll be back to fighting in two months, tops.

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What’s the best way to celebrate UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon ‘Bones’ Jones, a man so intensely athletic that he can cause his own toe to twist off like a bottle cap and still win a fight? By having the least athletic person you know, possibly yourself, put every food item within 20 feet onto a sandwich role and call it the Bones Jones.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Bones Jones.

Ingredients – salami, ham, habanero nacho cheese, country fried bacon, habanero pickles, chipotle mayo, and fried Mac n cheese bites! On a toasted sub!

I’m (somewhat predictably) not a fan of the Epic Meal Time gag, so I’m even less of a fan of the Epic Meal Time also-rans. There’s comedy in wrapping a full-sized, living cow in bacon slices and dropkicking it into a microwave or whatever, but there’s a fine line between “here’s an hilarious thing to eat” entertainment piece and just being a grotesque motherf**ker who eats everything he owns in a pile.

I really want to see Spilly improve the Bones Jones by adding Play-Doh to it.

[h/t to Middle Easy]

A lot of people think that UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones and I are a lot alike, and they’re mostly right. The only real difference between us is that when he breaks his toe in an absurdly graphic manner, he still wins his fight, celebrates with a pizza and energy drink and then goes to the hospital for surgery, while I scream like a cat giving birth and run around in circles for 5 minutes. And that’s just when he breaks his toe. But other than that, the champ and I are practically the same person.

Anyway, in case you were unable to join us for another one of our award-winning UFC live discussions – this one took home 3rd place at the Broward County Fair – Jones indeed defended his title with a first round TKO over Chael Sonnen, despite the fact that he fractured his toe and you could totally see the bone sticking out of the skin. And I don’t normally post images and GIFs of such graphic nature, but good Lord, people. I just can’t look away.

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UFC 159 went down tonight, and we’ve got your quick and dirty results.

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