With just two weeks left until the 2013 NFL Draft begins, we’re in desperate need of a talking head who can tell us all about what a quarterback needs to succeed in professional football. But it can’t just be any person with a mouth and pulse, it has to be someone who possesses that uncanny ability to talk to us like we’re complete morons. And for good measure, let’s make sure that person has a knack for starting every description of a man with “This guy right here…”

Haha, just kidding! We have Jon Gruden, the one-time Hooters cook who collects big ass paychecks to interrogate college QBs entering the NFL Draft about their skills and mental toughness in a way that makes us, the viewers, feel like we’re watching The Muppets. I, for one, am glad to have Gruden’s QB Camp in our lives, today at 5 PM ET on ESPNU and 7 and 7:30 PM ET on ESPN 2 just in case you’re running through a really long airport or train station and miss the first two.

Also, it’s the only show on TV that gives us faces like this…

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As we learned during Saturday’s UFC on FX 7 live discussion, Dana White’s empire has once again teamed with the restaurant franchise Hooters to make it the official watch party location for the new season of The Ultimate Fighter, which debuts tonight at 8 PM on FX. So if you’re excited about Team Sonnen vs. Team Jones – as you should be – and you also prefer your fried food to be delivered by the daughters of former hair metal video vixens, then today is your Christmas.

Alas, I type before you today with a heavy heart as the bearer of bad news. It seems, friends, that the fine people at the Buffalo wing breastuary have decided that Hooters, in spite of its empowering history, needs a makeover. That’s right, the franchise that helped a young Jon Gruden earn his first paycheck and many a sorority girl sidestep membership fees on SeekingArrangements.com is going “family friendly”.

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As regular readers may know, With Leather moonlights as a Frank Caliendo fan site. We’ve covered the comedian’s firing from FOX Sports and hiring at ESPN, all the while clutching our bellies thusly and guffawing deeply at his non-stop John Madden impressions. It’s like “cut, it, out” for a new generation!

Because you’re Caliendoholics like us, you’ll be excited to see this clip of his Jon Gruden impression on ESPN’s Sunday Countdown. He has a wig! He makes faces! He says things about the football and his impression is pretty good! If he could somehow work in a jalapeno on a stick he’d be the greatest comedian of all time.

That video is below. WARNING: EXTREME LAUGHS AHEAD!

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"It's a tree cah garage for all yer Trans Ams."

It would be beyond obvious to say that things aren’t going well for the Miami Dolphins. With quarterback Chad Henne out for the season, backup Matt Moore playing with injured ribs, and recent third string retread Sage Rosenfels done for the season, the team had to bring in Buffalo Bills loss manufacturer J.P. Losman for depth. Factor in Anthony Fasano’s latest addition to the players chastising fans for pushing the “Suck for Luck” initiative and we’ve got a full blown mess.

Perhaps nothing is messier than Tony Sparano’s status as head coach. Earlier this week, Yahoo!’s Jason Cole reported that NFL analysts Bill Cowher and Jon Gruden were itching to return to coaching and had mentioned to unnamed people that Miami would fit their desires. CBS stirred the pot further, claiming that the Dolphins had actually been in contact with Cowher. Whether one thing has to do with the other or not, Sparano has put his house up for sale. Again.

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This is the Gates Of Heaven of football gifs. I’ve watched it about thirty times, and I’m still not to the bottom of it.

The moment, captured by way of Reddit and posted on Mocksession, depicts This Guy, Jon Gruden, as he attempts to overcome the very worst part of being white: not knowing which handshake to use, where the handshake is going or when it’s supposed to end. I feel his pain. I do this with mascots a lot. Tex Hooper of FC Dallas will raise his hand up and I won’t know if he’s waving at me or going for a high-five, and by the time I decide to go five he’s switched it to a fist bump. The upside to my awkwardness is that I don’t have to be it on national television. I’ll leave it up to you to decide whether Ron Jaworski’s execution was better or worse than Mike Tirico’s. [editor's note: way, way worse]

The important lesson here is that if you dare fist bump, don’t try to do it two at a time. Get the people you want to bump lined up single-file and bump it in order like you just won a baseball game. Or, if you’re as old as these guys, just f**king shake hands.

Jon Gruden might return to an NFL sideline, but according to a very close source, it won’t be for another year. Deuce Gruden (which I’m assuming is just short for Jon Gruden, Jr.) might have given away his dad’s potential future coaching plans over the weekend.

The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach who was traded away from the Oakland Raiders in 2002 (only to beat them in the Super Bowl a year later) reportedly will seek another job in the League 2012, after Deuce finishes high school, according to his son’s remarks on the Sporting Rave podcast. Gruden seems to have his heart set on San Francisco, “and maybe Cleveland.” Yeah, that’s how most of us feel about Cleveland.

And yeah, this could have been a teenage kid talking out of his ass, but it’s still a notable take on a guy who’s probably the hottest “name” head coaching candidate on the market right now. Plus the kid’s name is Deuce. Hey, Deuce, got any good tips on penny stocks? I can see that email spam now. “THIS STOCK! I call it The Boomerang, because of its amazing returns!” Hey, that’s good stuff.