Johnny Football Is Not Exactly Johnny Baseball

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.08.13

Behold, the glorious first pitch of Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel.

“Every person kept saying, ‘Don’t bounce it, don’t bounce it,’” Manziel said, according to USA Today. “I was wild, a little nervous.”

Maybe he could look into being Johnny Basketball? I just want the guy to have another sports last name. I want to call him Johnny Two-Sports. And then I want to get Dick Tracy to arrest him.

The USA Today article goes on to helpfully explain how Johnny actually played a little high school baseball, and wore Derek Jeter’s number 2 because of course he did.

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Johnny Football Loves The Texas Longhorns, Hates Everybody On Twitter

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.13.13

Johnny Football Longhorns tattoo

Photo credit: Everywhere On The Internet

If you missed this yesterday, it’s a photo of Texas A&M quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny “Football” Manziel sporting a suspicious-looking Texas Longhorns tattoo on his ribcage. Your first thought is, “this can’t be, Johnny Football would never get the Longhorns logo tattooed on his body!” Your second thought should probably be, “well, I don’t know, it IS Johnny Football, and it’s not like the rest of his tattoos are high art.” If you told me “Johnny Manziel has a butterfly with a tiger’s face in the wings tattooed on the back of his neck” I’d probably believe you.

Anyway, Johnny wrote an impassioned explanation of the situation in the editorial section of yesterday’s New Yorker, professing his love for the Aggies and promising his fans that he’ll never … wait, sorry, I got my notes mixed up. He did this:

Of course, Twitter has two ends (the asshole and the other asshole), so the conversation didn’t end there. Some fans (“fans”) started being Twitter People to Johnny about the photo, and because John Football is the type to register for online classes to avoid going to college with other college students, he handled it delicately.

Here are a few of his interactions with the world of Trollgaze:

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Johnny Football Is Now Johnny Trickshot

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.25.13

Dude Perfect teamed up with Johnny “Football” Manziel for a trick shot video. Say what you will about trick shot videos, but skeet shooting with footballs is pretty g.d. cool. (via Bloguin)

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Links

JOHNNY FOOTBALL trick shotsPod Pods Pod: The Boy Meets World Podcast Episode 3 (Ed. note: featuring me) |Trough Network|

Is ‘SNL’s History With Rap As Bad As Everyone Assumes? |UPROXX|

Amy Poehler Wants Bill Murray To Play Pawnee’s Mayor On ‘Parks & Rec’ |Warming Glow|

JJ Abrams to direct Star Wars VII |Film Drunk|

White Folk Falling: The Best Of Segway Fails |With Leather|

This Church In France Is Crawling With Sci-Fi Gargoyles |Gamma Squad|

100-Word Review: Toro Y Moi’s “Anything In Return” |Smoking Section|

A Company Is Selling Temporary Kaepernick Tattoos |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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