Here’s the telecast of Novak Djokovic after his quarterfinal win in the US Open doing an impression of John McEnroe, whose book is absolutely terrible. Don’t ever read it, even if you’re stuck in a Mexican hospital and it’s the only English-language book in front of you. They love McEnroe in Mexico. But anyway, Mad Mac himself comes down from the broadcast booth to hit around with Djokovic for a bit, and I’d love to see this happen in any other sport. How awesome would it be to see Terry Bradshaw tossing on the field with Hines Ward, only to get crushed in the ribs as Kyle Vanden Bosch buries him into the turf. Somebody needs to make this happen. I’m looking at you, FOX Sports.

Here’s a recent outburst from John McEnroe during a recent World Team Tennis event. It’s such casual and conversational way of getting into someone’s face that it leaves me in stunned amusement. Chuck Adams, the dude in the blue, got suspended for crossing the net to engage in the argument.

During the men’s doubles match, a shot by Washington’s Leander Paes hit New York’s Robert Kendrick, prompting Adams and McEnroe to yell at Paes, the WTT said. The Sportimes were issued a code violation for unsportsmanlike conduct by the chair umpire because Adams and McEnroe entered the opponent’s side of the court.

Four points later, Kendrick swatted a serve that hit Paes. via.

This is the closest thing tennis has to a bench-clearing brawl, so maybe we should be grateful for Adams’ suspension. McEnroe probably got a bonus for doing the exact same thing. Still doesn’t make me want to watch team tennis, though. Team freeze tag? Hey, where do I sign?

Rafael Nadal won the Rome Masters today becoming the first man to win three consecutive titles there.  He also ran his clay court winning-streak to 77 matches, and now each victory will establish a new record for consecutive same surface triumphs.  John McEnroe, who previously held the record with 75 wins in a row on indoor carpet, is a little perturbed:

I'm running out of records," said McEnroe, who watched courtside when the Spaniard tied his mark on Friday.  "The guy seems like he's unbeatable right now. Doesn't he ever have a bad day or a headache once in a while or something?," he asked reporters.

I know what you mean Mac.  I set a record of sorts with Katy on indoor carpet when she used to baby-sit for the O'Malleys.  I'd wait naked for her on the beige shag in the den while she put the eight kids to bed, and then I'd ace her deuce (if you know what I mean) if I didn't double-fault.  Don't worry ladies, I don't double-fault anymore . . . much.  Anyway, I had strung eighteen Saturdays in a row on the same surface, until that damn foreign exchange student from Spain appeared.  She even had the nerve to tell me that he surpassed my record in three nights, that he never made an unforced error, and their baseline volleys lasted for minutes instead of seconds.  Slut.  Why did we ever end the Spanish-American War anyway?  Remember the Maine people, REMEMBER THE MAINE! -KD