The Big Lead has done a lot for the online sports blogging community, but its finest work may be this clip of John Kruk eating ribs during last night’s Home Run Derby. In slow motion. With the Chariots Of Fire theme playing over it.
If you want to see it (and haven’t been dissuaded too severely by that screen grab of Kruk sucking on his middle finger), the video that exists for some reason is after the jump.
lol
That’s the real, actual headline from today’s Paul Hagen piece on Philly.com about what a fun and affable guy John Kruk was during his days in Philadelphia. My first reaction was “come on, that’s got to be on purpose, right” but the article itself doesn’t make any jokes or further mention of it, so I have to lean toward “hilarious mistake”. I almost called this post “John Kruk Nut Gaffe”.
In case you haven’t made a joke in the last 17 years, Kruk had a bout with testicular cancer back in ’94, leading to the removal of one of his testicles. That’s the entire joke. It’s not funny that a guy had to get one of his balls scooped, but it’s an omnipresent observation on Kruk, leading to tons of hilarious, prophetic headlines like the classic to your right from Baseball Digest. Kruk could give a billion dollars to St. Jude’s Hospital and something about his semi-junk would subconsciously creep into the headline.
Of course, Philly.com is the website for both the Philadelphia Inquirer (the classy paper) and the Daily News (the tabloidy one), so sometimes they run a little risque. Maybe Hagen just crushed a funny headline. I hope it doesn’t get removed.
sh*t wait
[Doin' It Cap tip to Danger Guerrero and TheFightins.com]
I wonder if sometimes Major League Baseball scouts get tired of evaluating potential and dissecting physical minutia and just want to say “f**k it” and sign the biggest, fattest, hardest hitting guy they can find. Bad guys in baseball movies are always these big fat mustachioed mashers, so why do few exist in real baseball?
Thankfully the future of any Rookie of the Year remake is sound, because the Chicago Cubs took 18-year old Daniel Vogelbach in the second round of the MLB Draft. He’s listed as 5-foot-11 and 285 pounds, but a quick look at that picture tells you his weight should be listed as “fat kid who joins the team because he’s tough.” The Cubs probably discovered this guy in an alley somewhere, hitting homeruns with discarded tin cans.
Vogelbach (Dugout screen name: ImBringinVogelbach) hit a 17 homers and drove in 50 RsBI in only 32 high school games last season and has0 won a ton of awards, so maybe he’s the second coming of John Kruk. Only, you know, great at baseball. With Bryce Harper already shaping up to be baseball’s top heel, maybe Vogelbach can settle into the role of everyman, and take the sport back from these naturally gifted, physically fit guys.
[H/T Sportsbank]
