Boston Red Sox owner John Henry finally married girlfriend Linda Pizzuti in a lavish ceremony over the weekend. And some of the wedding favors were, in this idiot’s opinion, in poor taste. And I don’t mean that in a nasty, awesome sort of way, either. From the Boston Herald, via Slanch Report:
On the way out of the old ballyard, all the revelers received bobbleheads of the happy couple.
Many, many, of the parting gifts, we’re told, were left behind.
To be fair, that bobblehead doesn’t look like Linda at all. And…aren’t bobbleheads supposed to be one person?! Two people on one bobblehead surely violates some kind of Mexican labor law. And besides, how is anyone supposed to re-gift this thing, anyway? Uh, it’s Hugh Laurie with glasses and Sela Ward. It’s a great gift for old people. Because their vision is bad and they’re gonna die soon anyway. Wow, that sounded funnier in my head.
Wow, 30 is pretty damn old for a guy that has a ton of money and the Boston Red Sox, the official favorite team of girls that don’t have a favorite team. Actually, that favorite team would be the White Sox, at least for 24 days out of the month. But yeah, John Henry is marrying Linda Pizzuti, who probably had some terrible elementary school years. Who wouldn’t tolerate saggy balls to get rid of that name.
Henry, 59, and Pizzuti, 30, a Lynnfield developer, got engaged in December - less than a year after Henry and his first wife, Peggy, called it quits. The Red Sox owner popped the question to his steady galpal in New York just six months after they met at Alibi in the Liberty Hotel .
It is the first marriage for Pizzuti whose family is in the real estate biz. She specializes in sustainable development and recently…
Blah blah, it just goes on. Henry, you’ll remember, filed for divorce in August of 2007. And for the record, half of Henry’s age plus seven is 36 and a half. As long as the Fallopian Freeway’s closed down, I guess it’s all good.
|Boston Herald, via 310 to Joba|
Divorce isn't really that funny. When two people love each other and try to build a life together, and that life goes up in smoldering flames, it's no laughing matter. And when the fire trucks show up and cordon off the entire block and they're all holding that trampoline-looking thing yelling to the people stranded above to jump, that's…actually pretty funny. Anyway, Red Sox principal owner John Henry is putting the finishing touches on his divorce–just in time for the pennant race!
From PalmBeachPost.com (via Ben Maller):
Few details have leaked so far, including whether Henry’s baseball team will be affected. The bookish Boca Raton-based commodities trader bought the team for $690 million in 2002 — nearly 10 years after marrying Peggy Sue in Hawaii.
But at least one startling fact has emerged from the July 29 filings, the newest in 10 months: The Henrys asked Circuit Court Judge Amy Smith to appoint a guardian ad litem to watch over the financial interests of their only child, an 11-year-old girl.
That is, they're giving the kid her own lawyer to determine how much the child support should be. And it's a damn shame they already traded away Manny Ramirez. As terrible as he can be in the outfield sometimes, I'm sure family law would come quite naturally to him.
