Anthony Kim, at age 24, is grabbing life by the Titleists. He’s ranked among the top 50 golfers in the world. He has earned, in my opinion, to do whatever he wants, as people that enjoy his level of success can (and should) do. But none of this really matters to Aussie Robert Allenby, who apparently is in bed by nine every night and only kisses women on the mouth with no tongue. Prude.

“Maybe we should all take the theory of Anthony Kim,” Allenby said. “Get home at 4 o’clock (in the morning) and then go shoot 6 under.”

Asked if his comments were on the record, Allenby said, “I don’t care. Ask his playing partners. Ask his team. He is the loosest cannon in that team.”

Allenby went on to call the 24-year-old Kim golf’s “current John Daly.” via, via.

Dick. And he’s jumping the gun just a smidge. John Daly has battled his desire for alcohol, gambling and women for years, and failed miserably. Kim got drunk for one night. Allegedly. And while Kim may not enjoy the anonymity that some of us had in accumulating “life experience,” he’s still free to do so at his own peril. After all, waking up face down in a gutter with your pants around your ankles with no recollection of the last ten hours is a part of life. Pants are overrated, anyway.

In response to the bad press that always follows 24 hours in the drunk tank when you pass out at Hooters, John Daly has come forth to set the record straight on last week’s incident.  And by “set the record straight,” I mean “confuse me with statements that don’t fit in with the police report.”

According to Winston-Salem police, Daly appeared “extremely intoxicated and uncooperative” when he was found outside a Hooters restaurant early Oct. 27. With no other means of transportation, he was taken to the Forsyth County jail for 24 hours to get sober.

Daly said it could have been avoided if his friends had realized he tends to sleep with his eyes open when he’s tired, stressed and has been drinking. He said the driver of his private bus, parked near Hooters, panicked when he saw Daly and called the paramedics. [...]

“The bus driver called 911 because my eyes were open,” Daly said. “I said, ‘What’s going on?’ He said, ‘We thought you were dead.’ Anybody who knows me … when I’m tired, I sleep with my eyes open. They know it takes awhile to wake me up.”

So, okay.  The police report says Daly passed out in the Hooters, and his friends abandoned him.  Daly says he was on his bus, and his concerned friends called the paramedics.   I don’t want to sound like some asshole skeptic here, but maybe — juuuuuust maybe — we should take the word of the passed-out drunk with a little salt.

[Sports by Brooks]

In an absolutely shocking development, John Daly, America’s golfingest alcoholic, spent a day in the drunk tank after passing out in a North Carolina Hooters.  The details:

Officers described Daly as extremely intoxicated and uncooperative. He repeated he didn’t want to go to the hospital.

Hooters employees asked Daly to leave. But Daly did not have transportation. Officers say he was part of a group traveling on a tour bus. The group left Daly behind at the Hooters because they didn’t want him to continue traveling with them.

Sounds like there are some real rocket scientists on that tour bus.  “Hey, a Hooters!  Let’s give an alcoholic with four ex-wives access to tits and beer!  Certainly we’ll want to spend the rest of the evening with such a charming raconteur in his natural environment!”

[TMZ via SbB]

John Daly was hanging with Kid Rock at the pro-am that precedes the Buick Open in Michigan, and it looks like pro-ams are way way way better than actual golf tournaments.  Seems like you can drink beer and have fun and talk louder than 5 decibels.  And tee off from your overall-wearing trash-rock superstar's tallboy.  Hey, do it again, John!  This time off the corpse of Joe C.!

What, too soon?  Sheesh, didn't realize it was such a midget-friendly crowd. 

[FanHaus] 

Saint Andrew's Net is With Leather's daily link dump. Like most dumps, there are a few tire fires and severed appendages. But we encourage them!

• FanIQ is in disbelief about Brandon Inge hurting himself on a pillow. I don't know. Teresa Moore's look pretty debilitating as well.
• For the harried runner: Machochip highlights a jacket with LED turn signals. Yep, Simpsons did it. Bart and his Ultimate Belt are none too impressed.
• Food Court Lunch welcomes Jermaine O'Neal to Canadia with a few practical tips about dressing. Make sure to leave a pocket for maple syrup. 
• On Fanhouse, John Daly tees off from the top of a beer can belonging to Kid Rock. Don't toss it, John. Kid's gonna need that nickel dime deposit.
• Justin Timberlake sings to the glory of Eli Manning on The Sports Point. Still not as gay as being in The Love Guru. 

Send your tips and submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com.

"Saint Andrew's Net" is With Leather's daily link dump, written by the bane of respectable journos and monkey haters everywhere, Michael Tunison. Expect sports and tits.

• Going Five Hole has a screengrab of Don Cherry's fruit tart themed get-up from Saturday. Are those kiwis? 
• Blue Monkey Disco Party proffers the new John Daly video game. Don't know if it can replace Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge. Or that their pink banner can replace this pink teddy.
• The Sports Hernia tried to take in the unbearable brightness of Barry Melrose. It appears ESPN has switched to klieg lights only on set. Still less garish than Cherry.
• Awful Announcing has the video of Sir Charles crediting his fat ass for his rebounding prowess. But where's the credit to cheese steaks for his fat ass prowess?
• The Sports Point carries the report of Steelers' first-round pick Rashard Mendenhall getting robbed on the South side of Chicago. Hope he's not expecting the Rooneys to recoup that.

Send your submissions for Saint Andrew's Net to withleather@gmail.com.