Former New York Yankees manager Joe Torre made mention earlier this week that he wouldn’t ever rule out talking to the New York Mets about their manager gig if they came calling. The problem is that Jerry Manuel is still the manager of the Mets and he doesn’t really appreciate people talking about taking his job. At least not until he definitely loses it in two weeks.

After learning that he’d upset Manuel, Torre immediately issued an apology and as of this morning Manuel has accepted that apology, so all is well in the land of managers who pretty much sucked this season. Hell, if they could get Tony LaRussa involved this whole thing would be the perfect storm of nose hair and anger. But Torre’s comments have sparked both outrage – how dare he break the unwritten rule of baseball managers!* – and musings as to the future of the Mets. Hold on, I just got a telegraph from the future… yeah they still suck.

Show us what a domino effect looks like, ESPN New York. Well, maybe a ripple effect. Wait, is there a nipple effect?

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Cubs manager Lou Piniella announced yesterday that this season will be his last, as he will retire at the season’s end. The three-time World Series champion cited his desire to spend more time with his family as his reason to put an end to a legacy of base-throwing, chest poking and umpire screaming. His career as both a player and manager has spanned 48 years, during which he’s been associated with eight teams. Of his decision, Piniella simply told reporters:

“It’s been a wonderful experience,” he said. “There’s no way that I won’t cherish the memories here.”

But, he added: “I’ve been away from home since 1962. That’s about 50 years.” Source

The Cubs are currently in a tie for third in the NL Central, 10.5 games back of the first place Cardinals, and Piniella remains realistic that his team probably isn’t going to gain ground on the Cards and second place Reds unless they start winning series, as opposed to being swept or saving face. Cubs GM Jim Hendry said that he won’t name Piniella’s successor until after the season (*cough* Ryne Sandberg *cough*) and then everyone laughed because it won’t be Hendry’s decision by the time this season ends.

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The fun thing about older sports announcers is that with age they tend to slip a little and they’re susceptible to saying silly things. Joe Morgan has occasionally claimed things about his career that aren’t true, Harry Caray was adorably aloof toward the end, and Vin Scully has grown a little slow, but he’s still pretty damn good. And it’s fine, because most of the time these guys are just rambling off the top of their heads to fill airtime between pitches or during visits to the mound. Tim McCarver, on the other hand, likes to use airtime to pull out his soapbox.

During the fourth inning of Saturday’s Tampa Bay Rays and New York Yankees broadcast on Fox, McCarver likened the Yankees organization’s treatment of Joe Torre to the Axis Powers of World War II. Basically, because the Yankees haven’t retired Torre’s number, they’re essentially treating him like a dead Nazi general. This shouldn’t linger in the New York sports media for too long.

Let’s recap a terrible time in world history baseball broadcasting, NY Daily News:

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Sports Illustrated’s Tom Verducci interviewed former Yankees manager Joe Torre extensively for their co-written book, The Yankee Years (published by Doubleday, out next week).  It includes several unflattering portraits of Yankee players and front-office brass, which the New York Post somehow translated to mean that Torre was “ripping” his former co-workers in a new “tell-all.”  Verducci has since done a Q&A to correct the tabloid’s sensationalist smear, but it’s still worth looking at the Post’s story:

Torre gets most personal in his attacks against Alex Rodriguez, who he says was called “A-Fraud” by his teammates after he developed a “Single White Female”-like obsession with team captain Derek Jeter and asked for a personal clubhouse assistant to run errands for him.

Dammit, I wasted my best “Single White Female” joke in the link dump this morning.  The following tidbit, however, was my favorite:

The book also reveals that, during spring training in 1999, team doctors revealed to owner George Steinbrenner that Torre had prostate cancer – even before informing the manager himself.

That just kinda blows my mind.  Doctor: “Mr. Steinbrenner, Torre has cancer.  Shall I tell him?”  Steinbrenner: “Eh, no rush.  This power trip is gettin’ me hard.”

POLL: Will Torre’s book change your opinion of the Yankees? Long answer: No.  Short answer: **wanking motion**

Awww, how sad.  Yankees fans are upset that their manager of the last decade is leaving.  Hey buddy, here's another verse for you: "Joe, Joe / I always bring up our 26 championships / I call opposing fans 'faggot' in Yankee Stadium / I'm a big reason the rest of the country hates New York City / Don't go, Joe."  I guess that doesn't quite rhyme, but I'm still working out some of the specifics.

As you can see, I'm pretty fucking broken up about it, too. 

[Hot Clicks] 

So I was all set to preview Game 5 of the ALCS against the backdrop of Cleveland's attempt to mind-fuck Josh Beckett by having his ex-girlfriend sing the National Anthem (seriously, who uses the National Anthem as a psychological weapon?)…

Oh, but then here come the Yankees.  ESPN and the New York Post jumped through their asses to report that Joe Torre was about to sign a new contract… only to quickly retract the stories when Torre turned down a one-year deal worth $5M, with playoff incentives that could have raised it to $8M.  This is like the third or fourth "big" news item about the Yankees since they got ousted from the playoffs.  They can't go two days without generating some bullshit 48-point headline in Helvetica Bold, and it's getting really goddam old. 

Anyone who says the '80s sucked is lying.  Any time the Yankees suck is a golden age of American history.  Party at my house when Steinbrenner dies.