Let’s rock.

Each week, Sports On TV looks at the 20 (or so) greatest sports-related moments from television shows that aren’t always about sports. This week we tackle the low-brow 1987-97 FOX classic ‘Married… With Children’, and honestly, it’s the closest we’ve come to saying f**k it and just writing about sports shows. MWC featured more sports moments and guest appearances than almost any other sitcom, and even featured a sports moments clip-show in the middle of its 10th season. Instead of just finding that on YouTube and posting it here, we’ve put together our own list.

The entire run of ‘Married…’ is currently streaming on Netflix, so if you read about Al Bundy punching a heavyset lady in the stomach or beating a bunch of old people at track and field and want to check it out, you can do so there. If our top 20 didn’t feature your favorite moment, be sure to drop down into the comments section and let us know what we missed.

But for now, enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments from ‘Married… With Children’. Let’s get the greatest moment in television history out of the way first …

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In news that will undoubtedly cast a sullen shadow over the world of baseball, ESPN has announced that after 21 years, Jon Miller and Joe Morgan will not be returning to Sunday Night Baseball next season. As the contracts of both announcers have expired, Miller may be rehired to work some radio on Sunday night games and possibly some postseason action, but according to a very short statement by the Worldwide Leader, Morgan is gonezo.

ESPN representatives claim that they’re looking to take the Sunday Night brand in a new direction with new faces and voices – presumably those that don’t make up stories and statistics like Morgan. Miller was recently inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame for his broadcasting work, and he’s still working for the San Francisco Giants, but Morgan’s future in the broadcasting business is a big question mark. And if you ask him, it’s the biggest, most important question mark in the last 30 years of baseball.

Roll out the Norby Williamson Experience, ESPN…

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Through his first three starts, Washington Nationals rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg has a 2-0 record, and has recorded 32 strikeouts with a 1.86 ERA. His two home starts have been sellouts – which for the Washington Nationals are as rare as a sorority house virgin – and his start at Cleveland gave the Indians a 4,000 ticket boost in sales. Needless to say, the buzz around the 21-year old has some MLB pundits saying his presence could be a huge attraction at the 2010 All-Star Game next month. If only somebody would completely miss the point…

Cincinnati Reds manager Dusty Baker and ESPN announcer and Hall-of-Famer Joe Morgan openly disagree with this notion, seeing as Strasburg didn’t join a MLB roster until this month, making him far less deserving than pitchers that have been around since Opening Day. While they acknowledge the potential of the former No. 1 pick in the 2009 MLB Draft, Baker and Morgan just don’t think it’s his time yet.

Hey Joe Morgan, have you been around baseball a long time and seen stars come and go?

“I think he’s going to be a great pitcher, like everyone else thinks. He’s going to be great, but that shouldn’t make you skip things,” Morgan said. “I was here when J.R. Richard pitched and no one wanted to put him on the All-Star team after he struck out 15 in his first game.

“I’ve seen phenoms before. I don’t think there’s any doubt he’s going to be a great pitcher, but I don’t think you should come here and leapfrog guys who have been doing this all year.” Via Fanhouse

Baker agrees with Morgan’s comments, and of course he would. His Reds have greatly benefited from the outstanding performance of their own rookie badass, Mike Leake, who is 5-1 with a 2.92 ERA and 58 strikeouts through 14 starts. Baker’s Reds have also been neck-and-neck with the St. Louis Cardinals, who are the benefactors of a breakout season by rookie Jaime Garcia, who is 6-3 with a 1.59 ERA and 66 strikeouts. Baker and Morgan certainly have one hell of an argument right there.

That is, until you factor in that every MLB team has to be represented by at least one player at the All-Star Game, and seeing as no Nationals players are currently leading any position voting, and there is only one Washington player (Pudge Rodriguez) even in a Top 5 battle right now, it could also be argued that the guy who has actually created excitement about baseball in a city that has had to suffer through the post-Ripken Baltimore Orioles and accept being the landing spot for the defunct Expos could be a solid draw come July 13 in Anaheim. I mean, unless the fans would rather have Adam Dunn’s usual record-setting strikeout pace. Because who wouldn’t want to watch that?

It’s a sad day for sports blog enthusiasts (read: dorks), as the guys at Fire Joe Morgan are bringing the site to an end.  Since With Leather tries to avoid going down the rabbit holes of media criticism and reporting which sports bloggers are writers for “The Office,” FJM never got a lot of attention here, but it was a vital read for anyone who likes to see idiots mocked ruthlessly.  And I am ALL about that.

FJM weren’t whores for attention, they didn’t feast on gossip or rely on tits to get page views (ahem), and they didn’t start blogging in an attempt to become the next Bill Simmons.  They didn’t spend ten hours in Photoshop creating a shitty collage of images for their header (they didn’t spend any time on site design). They just took idiot columnists’ idiot columns and broke them down, sentence by mind- numbingly stupid sentence.  It’s a marvelous conceit, and they did it with wit and élan.

Seriously, I’m depressed about this.  There are 800 million sports blogs, and maybe twenty don’t absolutely suck.  And now it’s more like 19.  Dammit.

Everyone knows that Joe Morgan is the dumbest baseball announcer alive, and Ozzie Guillen is the craziest sonofabitch in Illinois, neither a small feat when you take into account Tim McCarver's existence or the presence of the nation's first supermax prison in Marion.  And last night they went toe-to-toe.  Idiocy versus insanity, WHO YA GOT?

[Guillen] didn’t take kindly to ESPN broadcaster Joe Morgan questioning the fact that Guillen told reporters on Saturday that he felt Ivan Rodriguez, not Roberto Clemente, was the greatest player to come out of Puerto Rico. Morgan told Guillen he was "crazy," starting a series of "FU's" from Guillen.

What Morgan didn’t know was Guillen is a huge collector of Clemente memorabilia, as well as gave his son, Oney, the middle name of Roberto. [Gahhh! That syntax is fucking awful. -Ed.]

Well let's see here.  On one hand, nothing gives me greater pleasure than someone saying FUCK YOU to Joe Morgan's face.  On the other hand, for once in his life, Morgan is right: Ozzie Guillen really is crazy.

Who wins?  I dunno, I'm too bothered by the nature of the conversation.  Why do we have to make it only about Puerto Rican players?  That does nothing to promote racial unity and harmony.  Can't we all just agree to hate the Jews and move on? 

I've never been a big fan of the single game on MLB's Opening Night — I much prefer the day-long orgy of aces on the true Opening Day.  But last night's Barves-Nationals game was surprisingly worthwhile.

First, the Nats unveiled the new Nationals Park (lots of photos here), which will be stadium's name for another two or three weeks until Ted Lerner gets a corporate sponsor to shell out the appropriate millions of dollars for naming rights.  Finally.  RFK may have once been a great place for football, but it is the single worst stadium for baseball that I've ever seen.  Plus the new park represents the first couple of acres on the Anacostia's banks in DC where it's actually unlikely you'll become the victim of violent crime.

Second, it was a hell of a ballgame.  The Nats scored two runs in the first to grab a lead that they held until Paul Lo Duca allowed a run-scoring passed ball in the top of the 9th.  With 24 straight Nats batters in a row retired by the Braves' staff, things looked headed to extra innings.  Instead, Ryan Zimmerman ended it with a solo shot with two outs in the bottom of the inning.  Game over.  (Video here)

And finally: yes, the Commander-in-Chief made an appearance, throwing the ceremonial first pitch and visiting Jon Miller and Joe Morgan in the booth, where he called the stadium's first home run (Chipper Jones) and was verbally fellated by both announcers.  Video of the first pitch is after the jump.  It's kind of a downer — I was expecting a hailstorm of boos, but the booing gets overpowered by the cheering.  Unless Bush got 30,000 tickets for his family, I'm guessing that was a sound effect added by ESPN.