So there’s a story floating around today about how baseball legends Pete Rose and Joe Dimaggio
went to Vietnam, which sounds like the opening of a joke. Since it involves Pete Rose, in a way, it is.

And Joe says, ‘Man, I’ve gotta take a shower.’ I said, ‘Joe, we’re out in the middle of the jungle, what do you mean you’ve got to take a shower?’ He said, ‘I don’t give a damn, I’m Joe D and I’ve gotta take a shower.’ And the only way you can take a shower, Mike, is they have these big bamboo bags, like, and somebody’s got to get on a chair and pour the water and pull a rawhide thing and the water comes through and the guy takes a shower. So I saw everything that Marilyn Monroe saw. Now, when I tell people the best way to describe Joe DiMaggio, he was a penis with a man hanging from it. … Does that give you a better perspective?”

–Sports Radio Interviews, via Povia.Tumblr.

That’s news to us, especially after seeing this photo. Marilyn Monroe was nailing the president for a reason, although she didn’t give head nearly as well as Lee Harvey Oswald.

A circa 1940 photograph of Joe DiMaggio’s penis is now available for public consumption. This might be the best baseball news I’ve heard all day:

A full-frontal nude of baseball great Joe DiMaggio, showering after a game, is currently on view in the exhibition Hunted and Gathered at the gallery Modernism in San Francisco.

It is part of a collection of quirky, anonymous photographs assembled by Robert Flynn Johnson, curator emeritus of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco. When asked where he got the photo, Johnson joked, “I have friends in low places.”

We’re not linking the image here. Yeah, I know, it’s exactly what you needed to start your weekend. You can check it out over there and evaluate your own manhood accordingly. This reminds me of the batting stance silhouette of Sadaharu Oh that I read about in the Japanese baseball hall of fame once. Only this American counterpart comes off as more dickish. Or less, I guess. Damn, how cold was that water, anyway? via, via.