I had a conversation with Rob Iracane about why I hate baseball highlights–they’re exactly the same. Here’s a diving play by the shortstop. Here’s an outfielder robbing a home run. Here’s a guy doing cocaine… You get the idea. But watching someone as big as Joba Chamberlain sprint off the mound and dive for a botched bunt is somewhat impressive. But then seeing him throw to second to make it a double play produces a solid score of “badass.” Video’s after the jump.

As if that wasn’t enough, he swallowed a midge in the eighth inning. What’s a midge? I don’t know, whatsamidge with you? Eh, that doesn’t really work… Read the rest of this entry »

Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain got a DUI this off-season, but that really doesn’t seem like such a big deal, given that his estranged mother was just busted for dealing meth in Nebraska.  Allegedly, of course.  Because people get framed for selling meth to undercover cops all the time.

Jacqueline Standley was arrested at her apartment Saturday night, Lincoln Police Capt. David Beggs said Monday.

Beggs said she sold 1 gram of a substance believed to be meth to an officer for $110 on Feb. 11. The substance was confirmed as meth at the state laboratory. |Newsday|

Aww, look at her.  Such a sad face.  You can see where Joba inherited his jowls.  A jury would sooner convict a bloodhound.  Besides, in her defense, meth is pretty much the only thing to do in Nebraska.

Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain may look like a pudgy simpleton incapable of landing hot girls, but keep in mind that pinstripes and millions of dollars are very slimming.

Busted Coverage unearthed some photos of undetermined age that feature the Yankees star getting cozy with one “Jaime,” a New York gal-about-town who — according to BC — refers to Chamberlain as “Jobie-son,” “Ja,” “J.L.C.,” and “Bubba-Boo.”  Much cuter than my pet names of “Jabba,” “Fatass,” and “BlowJob.”  I make lots of friends at Yankees games.

Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain (pictured here with Aubrey O’Day for no particular reason) was busted for drinking and driving after leaving a strip club this past weekend, and now we get delicious details of his big night out in his home state of Nebraska, where a fellow strip club patron taunted him for the Yankees’ failure to make it to the playoffs.

“Too bad you didn’t play for the Red Sox,” the customer said, according to another patron at the club. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be sitting here in a strip club in Nebraska.” [...]

A furious Chamberlain left, and moments later, cops nabbed him for allegedly speeding in his 2006 BMW 750i. They hauled him off to a detox center after they smelled alcohol on his breath and saw an open container of alcohol on the passenger seat.

Authorities said Chamberlain, who submitted to a Breathalyzer test at the scene, had a blood-alcohol content of .134 at the time of his arrest, nearly double Nebraska’s legal limit of .08.

Why does the media always have to take such liberties with math?  Thirteen isn’t “nearly double” eight.  They always blow stuff  out of proportion like that.  Like how they said I was twice the age of those high school girls.  What a bunch of crap.  I was 29 at the time, and they totally had their learner’s permits.

This has been floating around for a couple of days, and I'm posting it because I love "To Catch a Predator" jokes (hey, the show is hosted by the Patriots' punter!) and because this one is tailored to be a commercial for Nike running shoes. Unfortunately, it's not actually a Nike commercial, but something designed by Alec Brownstein.  Also, the guy in the clip isn't actually a sexual predator, but a character inspired by Joe Theismann. 

Naw, I'm just kidding.  Theismann only likes teenage boys.

This may be the least idiotic thing Mike Patrick has ever said.  It may even be on par with John Madden's Thanksgiving telecast when he said he couldn't wait to get home to his wife to stuff the bird.  Unless it was in the cranberry bog, if you know what I'm talkin' about.  And I think you do.

[Mr. Irrelevant]