Morning Links posts encourage fellowship amongst bloggers. If you are linked here, we would appreciate you checking out our material and linking back if possible, to spread the wealth and promote synergy throughout the blogosphere. The easiest way to alienate the entire Internet is to use the words “blogosphere” and “synergy” in the same sentence.

Also, a few style notes about the site. One, we’re getting rid of the old logo and changing it to a picture of Hulk Hogan body slamming somebody. Two, Burnsy has been fired and replaced by a machine that produces less high-quality galleries per day, but likes basketball less. Three, I’m looking for a new bio blurb to put in the upper righthand corner of the page, and I’m leaning toward the word “otters.” Just the word otters.

Sports

Interleague Play And How It Ruined Baseball Forever - Baseball is like the human body. Anything that comes into contact with it tries to kill it. You can’t eat or breathe or do anything without it shortening your lifespan. Baseball can’t employ anyone or do anything without repeatedly punching itself inthe eye. [Baseball Nation]

Joakim Noah Yells Gay Slur At Fan, Apologizes - The theme for the next five years of basketball news is “basketball player is gay or hates gays.” That whole league is going to end in a self-hating orgy. [Smoking Section]

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On Friday, as the majority of us sold our belongings, cleared out our DVRs and awaited our golden light beams to meet our makers, Los Angeles Clippers center Chris Kaman Tweeted that he was also preparing for the rapture, just in case. Kaman is widely regarded as a gun aficionado (USA Today called him the Ted Nugent of the NBA, probably in a pie chart) so he already has a collection of firearms and was just making a joke about the people who honestly thought we’d be eternally judged this past Saturday.

Of course people are upset with Kaman for taking pictures posing with rifles, but mainly because it’s hard to defend themselves when their sticks are shoved up their butts.

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*I was very disappointed that CBS Sports used “Bulls on Parade” as their headline this morning. Might have ruined my day. Thank goodness for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Chicago Bulls 116, Indiana Pacers 89 (Series: 4-1 CHI)

The Bulls finally stopped teasing the poor Pacers with close games and promises of home-cooked breakfast and gave them their bus fare and sent them home. Josh McRoberts was ejected for the Pacers in probably the most exciting non-Bulls scoring highlight, but if you’re going to swing on Joakim Noah at least connect with him so some of us can smile a little.

Derrick Rose was supposedly in a walking boot this week and hampered by – and I believe this is a medical term – a boo-boo on his ouchy footy. But he still dropped 25 on the Pacers to give the Bulls some much needed rest before they find out who they’ll be playing in Round 2. And it’s going to be the Atlanta Hawks.

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So the leader of our free world participated in a pickup game featuring current and former NBA stars, and you can just stop reading here and finish out the “He’s just a regular guy!” or “He should be fixing the economy!” anecdote in your heads. Or

The game was played for a group of “wounded warriors” — troops injured in action — and participants in the White House’s mentoring program. It took place at a gym inside Washington’s Fort McNair, a short drive from the White House. The president was inside the gym for about two hours.

The reporters assigned to keep tabs on the president were shut out of the gym, forced to wait in vans outside. Asked why media coverage was blocked, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said Obama “just wanted to play.”

After the game some of the players joined Obama and a group of his friends for a barbecue at the White House, capping the president’s 49th birthday week. –from the monolith.

The first time I was critical of Obama making such public use of his free time, I was thoroughly destroyed in the comments. But I’m sure it felt great to come back from Iraq and watching my commander-in-chief running up and down the floor while I sat in a wheelchair would have done much to cheer me up. But that’s not the fight I want to pick here.

I want to know who the f–k put “wounded warriors” IN QUOTES! That is not a figurative expression. Those returning soldiers (a) served their country AT WAR, and (b) suffered significant injury. You might even say that THEY WERE WOUNDED. I will stab whoever wrote this in the eye, and then gloat endlessly about how I “wounded” that person.

Where are my pills? And would it be “whoever” or “whomever?” Whatever. Sometimes I really hate Americans.

ASYLUM POLL: Is Obama taking it a bit too easy this August?

It’s pretty common knowledge that athletes ‘partake’ from time to time, so it should come as a surprise to no one that pictures of Joakim Noah shopping for a bong have been released.

These photos were taken in March, on Chicago’s North Side (on a block known affectionately as “Head Shop Row”). At the time, Noah was recovering from plantar fasciitis, an ailment that would sideline him for nearly a month.

The Bulls, caught off guard when we alerted them to the photos, gave us an official “no comment.” –Deadspin

Of course Joakim Noah is a stoner. I mean, just look at him. You have to smoke weed if you have hair like that. My problem is deciding if I’d rather hang out with Hot Bong Girl or Stoned Birthday Dog. Too bad it’s a choice I’ll never have to make. Pictures of Joakim are featured over at Deadspin, and after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Bulls big man and Rae Dawn Chong permutation Joakim Noah ran his mouth about how “Cleveland really sucks” is as his team prepared to take on the Cavaliers for Game 2 of their first-round playoff series. Seriously, that was the worst thing he said about the city, and everyone made a big deal about it. That wasn’t any less obvious than saying “Bloggers are fat,” or “Prostitutes aren’t really people.” Anyway, the Bulls got owned last night; LeBron scored 40 and the Cavs won 112-102, taking a 2-0 lead in the series.

“They were telling me I can’t make jump shots,” James said. “They asked me to shoot a jumper so I did that. Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.”

James scored 40 points—15 in a tour-de-force fourth quarter—as the Cavaliers, fueled by a rabid home crowd that booed every move by Noah…

To his credit [I guess], Noah didn’t back down from his comments.

“You like it? You think Cleveland’s cool? I never heard anybody say I’m going to Cleveland on vacation. What’s so good about Cleveland?” –Y! Sports.

My wife’s family took a vacation in Cleveland once. They had their car stolen. But seriously, I’m from Ohio and I wouldn’t go anywhere past Berea toward that hole. Over 1,000 people move out of Cleveland every month. I assume that number is so low because there are only so many Uhauls to go around.

Also, Utah beat Denver last night. Their series is tied at 1-1. Four games are scheduled for tonight, and I guess those guys will go out and get sandwiches afterward, because basketball is hard.