Word hit the street yesterday that former Denver Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan was contacted by Redskins owner Daniel Snyder about his availability as a midseason head coaching replacement for the embattled Jim Zorn. Suddenly, football coaches are episodes of “Burn Notice” that can be plugged in interchangeably at a moment’s notice. That’s the Dan Snyder we know and loathe.

“Shanahan told the franchise there was little he could do in the middle of the season for them and that changing coaches during the season in the NFL rarely works,” a Redskins management source told FanHouse. “Several people that Dan Snyder trusts have suggested, if he makes a move, he should turn it over to secondary coach Jerry Gray. That could still happen.

“We are trying to give Jim every chance to turn it around. The move to [bring in offensive consultant Sherm] Lewis is to take more off Jim’s plate, especially the play-calling, because it is not working, and that is where Jim is spending much of his time. Now he can coach the entire team. Let’s see where that gets us.” via.

The Redskins are running out of winless teams in the league to play, and one only wonders how much good Snyder and his antics will be in fixing this mess. It’s hard to believe somebody that’s friends with Tom Cruise could find himself in such competitive peril. Even if the Danielskins could get Xenu to call the plays, it still wouldn’t fix a team that’s so schematically flawed. I blame Jason Campbell. And the Jews. But mostly Campbell.

To say that Jim Zorn is the frontman for the underachievingest team in the NFL is like saying that the Great Wall of China is kinda big, or that women on reality shows kinda like attention. But after the Redskins dropped a game to the Detroit Lions–the first team in nearly two calendar years to do so–the calls for Zorn’s head have only grown louder. But I’d argue that Zorn isn’t going anywhere before the end of the season. Here’s why.

Moving his workload would be a pain in the ass. Noted NFL writer and self-appointed travel expert Peter King pointed out on Sunday Night Football that Zorn is performing three roles with that team: head coach, offensive coordinator, and quarterbacks coach. Replacing Zorn, King said, would involve two or three different people, people that would have to come from within the organization at this point.

Nobody wants to be Dan Snyder’s bitch. There’s a reason that Jim Zorn was “promoted” from offensive coordinator to head coach last winter–nobody else wanted the job. The league’s coaches have seen the way he handled Norv Turner and heard about how he treated Mike Nolan. It took a truckload of money to pull Joe Gibbs out of retirement, but that truck has sailed…if you will. Snyder won’t get any tangible jump on finding his next underling by pulling the rug out from under Zorn before the end of the year.

A regime change would almost certainly end the Jason Campbell Era in the District. The 2009 season will be Campbell’s fifth as a pro–with his third offensive coordinator. Scrapping Zorn’s system now would be counterproductive at the very least for Campbell, whose development has suffered from the revolving door in front of the Redskins’ coaching offices. A new coach would be better served, sadly, to bring in his own guy (a la Chiefs coach Todd Haley with Matt Cassel, or even Vikings coach Brad Childress bringing in Brett Favre). Such a move–for better or for worse–almost certainly sends Campbell to the junk heap. Probably for good.

Redskins fans don’t really care if their team sucks. The team has already sold out every game. Hell, they have so many fans that they’re suing the ones that aren’t fanatic enough. Fan response has nothing to do with how the team’s performing on the field, leaving Zorn free to mismanage his team through the next 14 weeks of the season, which will be, granted almost certainly his last in DC. also.

When Clinton Portis sat out of Sunday night’s 24-10 loss to the Ravens, most people figured his nagging laundry list of injuries precluded him from playing.  Apparently not: it seems coach Jim Zorn, displeased with Portis’s lack of practice, benched him.  The former Dr. “I Don’t Know” responded today:

Portis unloaded on Jim Zorn over and over again during today’s “John Thompson Show” appearance. He swore, he suggested maybe he should go on the injured reserve, he offered to become a cheerleader, and he said this, when asked what adjustments should be made.

“We got a genius for a head coach, I don’t know, I’m sure he on top of things. He’s got everything figured out. Hey, that’s up to him. All I can do is when he calls a play is go out and try to execute to the best of my ability.”

In a related story, the “Will Jim Zorn be fired?” rumors have already started.  I can’t imagine why.  The ‘Skins have only lost four out of five after starting 6-2.  You can’t really blame the coach for benching the guy who was an MVP candidate.  Oh wait.  I’ve just gotten word that you can and in fact should do that.  Hope you chose to rent, Zorn.

As seen most everywhere by now, here’s 49ers interim coach Mike Singletary showing his displeasure with the team (and especially tight end Vernon Davis) after yesterday’s blowout at the hands of the Seahawks [Ed. note: HOORAY!]. This was after he’d benched Davis, then sent him to the locker room, then apologized to the fans as he left the field, then rejected Davis’s apology. I kinda get the feeling that Singletary really cares about having the right attitude. It might not motivate a team as effectively as wearing a suit like Mike Nolan, but the Niners are desperate enough to try anything.

After the jump, second place for Angry NFL Coach of the Week goes to Jim Zorn.

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Dan Steinberg of D.C. Sports Bog, being the intrepid reporter he is, asked Redskins coach Jim Zorn — pictured here with Steve Largent during their Seahawks playing days — about his coyote-skinning experience.  Because, well, why not, right?  Zorn’s quote:

“Ok, this absolutely was appalling to my bride of 29 years, but I actually found road kill. I didn’t hunt the coyote, I found road-kill coyote, put it in a bag, shoved it in my trunk. I thought, ‘A coyote pelt, this is awesome!’

“So I took it outside–I didn’t bring it in the house obviously–I took it outside, I hung it on a tree right on the waterfront, you know. Beautiful waterfront house, I hung it right on the tree, and I skinned it. Um, and it looked like, I’ll tell you what, it looked like a yard dog. So it was a little bit scary, because people were thinking I was skinning my own dog. But it was a coyote.

“So I skinned it out, I put it in a bag and I sent it to a tannery, right? And I got the hide tanned and brought back and I had this really nice coyote pelt, all right? And it was on a couch on our house for a long time, until our kids got to it and you know, they started pulling the tail and all that kind of stuff.”

This is why I want to move to Seattle and do a similar blog for Seattle.  I want to ask Mike Holmgren about the critical smelt shortage in the Pacific Northwest.

These photos from the running of the bulls in Pamplona are tantalizingly close to awesome.  Like, it looks like the bulls are totally fucking shit up and kicking ass, but there's no money shot of a big horn poking out of some moron's sternum.  God, that would be so sweet.  "Look at me!  Running through the streets with the bulls!  It's such an adrena–AIIEEEEE!!!" and all you see is a fountain of blood as the bull lifts him off the ground, completely impaling him.

Whoa, is it weird that I have boner?  Keep in mind that car wrecks turn me on, too.

(Photos: Getty)