Please allow United States President George Washington “Linda” McMahon to usher you into the latest in our series of embarrassing pro wrestler 8×10 treasuries, now helpfully categorized as “This Week In Horrible-Looking People.”
Edit: I got these links together on Monday afternoon and set this to post for Tuesday morning thinking, “oh, I’m probably the only person who cares about Jim Ross calling DeAndre Jordan’s dunk on Brandon Knight, it’ll be fine to share in the AM.” Then Deadspin shared it.
So hey, if you haven’t heard the Jim Ross King Of The Ring ’98 call set to the monster mother of all posterizations, check it out. If you saw it last night, watch it again. It’s still really, really great.
On Saturday, No. 23 Ole Miss men’s basketball had a pretty tough time holding off a less-than-stellar Auburn Tigers squad, as the Rebels just barely squeaked out a 2-point win. Auburn’s Frankie Sullivan missed a three as time expired, making the game’s hero junior guard and all-around spaz Marshall Henderson, who sank two free throws to make the difference in the final score. He was also second in scoring for the Rebels with 15 points, but we only care about those two points, because they show how clutch Henderson thinks he is.
That’s why, when the clock expired, Henderson made his way to the Auburn student section, as you can see in that delightful GIF above that was posted by College Hoops Journal (H/T to Storming the Floor). As you can see, Henderson is reminding the Tigers fans that he goes to Ole Miss, which is why he is extending the front of his jersey in an outward manner, as if to say, “Excuse me, opposing fans. Have you seen this jersey? It is mine.”
Or perhaps he just wanted to know if he got any ketchup on it. Either way, the above GIF is glorious, and there are many reasons why, but I wanted to highlight my favorites in our latest Scene Breakdown.
WWE’s Royal Rumble 2013 goes down on January 27, and I think I speak for everyone when I say the best part of a Royal Rumble match is when they herd a wrestler in front of a green screen and tell him to explain off the top of his head why he’s gonna win. Very few things make a wrestling fan feel like a kid again like Hulk Hogan pointing with an open palm and yelling about vitamins in front of a horrible yellow background reading HULK HOGAN.
To prepare for the Rumble, I’ll be putting up a retro Best And Worst report (or two), but step one is the celebration of these promo montages. When the mid-90s hit they went the way of the dodo, but I’ve put together a gallery of some of the best from 89-96. If you only watch one thing, watch the video where swank 1995 Pamela Anderson gets weird voicemail messages from Doink the Clown about how he’s gonna nail her when he wins the Royal Rumble. Hell, even if you don’t like wrestling, watch that one.
Enjoy. If I missed one of your favorites, be sure to post it in our comments section below.
- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are really appreciated. We want to keep building the community, and not just get comfortable talking about wrestling in this weird oasis we’ve built where Damian Sandow is the coolest guy in the room and CM Punk has a bunch of problems. Share this with your family, friends, people you’ve never met, and (as a last resort), those people you know from the forum. You know the one I’m talking about.
- Thanks as always to Casey/THESTINGER of Hammerlock Dialectic for GIFs, which make their triumphant return to this week’s column.
- There’s a thing about CM Punk punching a dude near the end of the column, but don’t get excited, I didn’t write much about it. If you’re here for the first time, welcome, and try to like wrestling when it isn’t mainstream-awful!
Regardless, please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for October 8, 2012.
- Comments, shares, likes and Facebook pokes or whatever are appreciated. Sharing the column with new eyes every week to ensure I never go a week without someone reading one line of one column in two years of columns telling me I’m a smark-mark who doesn’t know anything about wrestling is the most important thing in the world to me.
- Re: The Best And Worst Of King Of Trios, it might not be happening. I know, I know. I’ve done this thing since becoming a full-time blogger where I turn everything fun I do into work. I can’t watch wrestling without it being work, I can’t watch TV without it being work, I can’t travel, etc. Every time I sit down to write about Trios I remember how great it was, and how much fun I had, and how little I want someone on a forum somewhere linking it and calling me gay slurs because Mr. Touchdown isn’t 6-foot-5. I may end up keeping that for myself.
- If you’ve only bookmarked the Best And Worst tag, consider looking at the rest of the site from time to time, would you? Sure, the sports are real (why would anybody like REAL sports), but I’m still writing about them, and if you put up with my Kofi Kingston opinions here, maybe you can put up with my thoughts on Rampage Jackson or whoever somewhere else.
Anyway, please enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for October 1, 2012.