The Indianapolis Colts are holding a press conference at noon today, at which Colts owner Jim Irsay and franchise face Peyton Manning are expected to tell everyone: “Sometimes an owner and quarterback are in love, but they’re not in love.” For the first time since being drafted by the Colts 14-years ago, Manning is going to be a free agent, as Irsay will announce that he will not honor the $28 million roster bonus that Manning is due tomorrow.

Somewhere, Stephen Ross and Jeff Ireland are shoveling pennies into giant potato sacks. But until the Miami Dolphins and New York Jets can spearhead a hilarious public bromancing of the elite QB that at least a dozen teams need, it’s all about reflection, and 13 seasons in Indianapolis.

“Time will take away some of the hurt that comes with leaving the organization,” Bill Polian told USA TODAY. “He will look back on it from a little bit of distance I hope secure in the knowledge that he made an incredible contribution to that franchise.” (Via USA Today)

And even though there’s that darn video that shows Manning tossing the old pig skin around at Duke University, face it, man – it’s just over.

“After 14 years, I recognize that throwing motion even from a distance,” Polian said. “He looked darn close to the original Peyton Manning.”

And there you have it. We’re mere hours away from the end of an era, and I can only imagine how hard this is on Colts fans, to see the man who pulled them from the sports dumpster and carried them on his back for more than a decade have the door opened for him to finish his career elsewhere.

Man, Colts fans must just be absolutely devastated…

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As I mentioned earlier in my Peabody Award nominee post about Princess the Prognostic Camel, I’m not much of a gambler. That doesn’t stop people from asking me for advice, though, because when you tell people that you’re a sports blogger, you should probably include that you’re a dick joke maker and not an expert, otherwise people will assume you know things.

But aside from bar squares and fantasy football, there is one specific type of gambling that I’m a sucker for – Super Bowl prop bets. And this year there are some awesomely stupid bets to be made, from Kelly Clarkson’s National Anthem prowess to Madonna’s Skeletor arms. Side note: Madonna, LMFAO and Cee Lo are set to perform updated variations of Madonna’s old hits. She’s like the George Lucas of music. Madonna might as well make Cee Lo dress like Jar Jar Binks.

Where was I? Yes, prop bets. They’re typically for the most degenerate gamblers, as people who feel the need to bet on every little thing – including the coin flip, the color of Gatorade dumped on the winning coach and how many yards Hakeem Nicks’ first catch will be – for the sake of getting their rush and/or making up for all the money they lost during the regular season. Today, though, I’m making prop bets into something for the average person.

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Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay is the kind of guy who’d be a 52-year old multimillionaire and have his Twitter icon be a picture of himself playing guitar, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he’d offer two Super Bowl tickets to whatever random person could predict the new Colts head coach. It would also not be surprising if he propped up a cardboard box with a stick, put Super Bowl tickets under it, then pulled the stick away when you crawled under to grab them.

The contest, via @JimIrsay:

However, like any contest suddenly proposed by a rich person, there are rules:

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Sports

Vegetarian Pig Slop and Heat Wave Rasslin: ACW’s Distrust, Dismay and Antisocial Behavior ’11 Review - I spent my Sunday night watching the best independent wrestling in Texas, and if you hop over to TH’s wrestling blog (“The Wrestling Blog”) you can read a bit about it. AND see my wonderful, cheesing mark photo with one of my favorite wrestlers in the world. [The Wrestling Blog]

First Look: NBA 2K12 “Greatest Trailer” - Hooooooly. I am going to buy this game the moment it comes out and pretend it is the greatest imaginable upgrade to Bulls Vs. Blazers. I am going to UTEP Two Step these guys SO HARD. I hope Tom Chambers is in here somewhere. [The Smoking Section]

Topps All Star Rookies Vs. Donruss Rated Rookies: Who Won Out? - One of my professional goals is to have the a scale replica of the Topps All Star Rookie trophy somewhere in my home. Also, to have a Pac-Man table machine. [SBN]

TUF 14 Cast Announced For Team Bisping Vs. Team Mayhem - I hope “Mayhem’s snitchy sister” is on Team Bisping. [Cage Potato]

With Leather

Joe Namath Inspired Wet Cheerleader Gallery - Easily the best thing Joe Namath has done since advising Bart Simpson about vapor lock. I wish there was a way Ice Girls could get wet. Maybe raise the temperature in the arena when they’re dancing? [With Leather]

Pro Wrestler Drives Car into Tree, Gets Arrested, Loses Mind - Get excited for today’s Best and Worst of Raw with a story about what happens when you stop being in the WWE and have to start being a real person. Also, failing miserably at being a real person. Also, getting angel blood? What? [With Leather]

Jim Irsay Isn’t Funny And 9 Other Thoughts - Football is happening, and if you’re the type who likes football (that is almost all of you), get in here and share your thoughts with Burnsy. Real sports coverage needs as much play and as many comments as the fake. [With Leather]

The Dugout: SFinal Destination - M’nerd Bill Hanstock has done a great job with this, which started off as one Dugout and turned into a multi-part event. Part three is coming today, so catch up on parts one and two. Part two has a great new screen name for Carlos Beltran. [Part 1] [Part 2]

Not Sports

The Best Quotes from Modern Family’s Gloria Pritchett - Sofia Vergara deserves your attention for something besides her amazing breasts. She deserves your attention for those, too, just for other things as well. For her amazing breasts. [Warming Glow]

Meme Watch: Annoying Childhood Friend Will Probably Find You on Facebook, If He Hasn’t Already - “Always asks for food at your house/won’t let you eat any of his food at his house” is so amazingly on point. Being an only child meant every friend I had was this kid, and that’s why I’m such a terrible friend. [UPROXX]

Fallon Set to Host SNL - This is fine, but please, don’t do the Barry Gibb Talk Show. It was something you shouldn’t have done twice, and you’ve done it about forty times. Justin Timberlake saying “no I don’t” is not funny. DO NOT DO BARRY GIBB TALK SHOW. [AOL TV]

Geeky Dog Costumes Have Never Been Cuter - Part of me wants to say “stick to bumblebees and hot dogs, those costumes are cute enough already” but no, I would absolutely dress my dog like a Totoro. [Gamma Squad]

Welcome to Week 2 of my new weekly Random NFL Thoughts installment. Feel free to join in the conversation in the comments, even if to tell me how completely wrong I am.

If you have the pleasure of following Indianapolis Colts GM Jim Irsay on Twitter, then you know two things – 1) He’s a huge music fan, and 2) He’s possibly a lunatic. Irsay has a tendency of Tweeting random song lyrics in a way that the average person – and especially the average Twitter user – might not catch on to very well, if they even get him at all. In the case of the latter, he comes across as a complete psychopath.

But in between those lyrical Tweets, he openly talks about Colts football with fans, and since the lockout ended, the only topic regarding Indy football has been Peyton Manning’s neck. By all accounts, the guy who just signed a contract that guarantees him close to $100 million over the rest of his career will not be ready for Week 1. Manning hasn’t seen a snap in the preseason, but that should’t really be a problem for one of the game’s elite QBs if he’s actually going to start the season opener. He can just kick off the rust and run with it. Either way, Irsay wants to f*ck with us.

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