As if newfound chosen son Amar’e Stoudemire didn’t already have enough on his plate, what with his decision to lead New York Knicks fans through the desert for at least the next five years, the star forward has been issued a challenge. Marc Gold wants to know just how Jewish Stoudemire really is. Having recently spent time in Israel tracing his Hebrew roots, Stoudemire has embraced his c’heritage and Gold – owner of Gold Food Products – wants to test his faith with a schtickle of kosher horseradish.

Gold’s challenge, should Stoudemire choose to accept it, is for the new Knick to take a tour of the Gold factory, where the horseradish is made, and to survive not only the production of the fakakta condiment, but also to devour a heaping serving on a nice chunk of matzoh. All without crying, vomiting or complaining, of course. But in fairness, he wouldn’t even be there if he wasn’t expected to complain about something. Probably the humidity, oy gevalt!

Let’s have a party and all dance the Hora, CNBC:

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In deference to the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah, the Marlins changed their game time yesterday from 7:05 to 1:05 and a big crowd showed up to watch the Fish battle the Nats:

Forget the announced attendance of 10,121 for the Marlins-Nationals game at Dolphin Stadium. When Byung-Hyun Kim threw the first pitch, 375 spectators could be seen. That is what happens when two of the worst teams in baseball meet for a 1:05 p.m. game on a 91-degree September afternoon . . . The game sometimes felt like an off-day workout as foul balls landed amid acres of empty orange seats. Individual fans could be heard cheering for individual players. On the plus side, the catcalls were few when Jacobs watched a third strike go by with the bases loaded in the first inning. An inning later, Jeremy Hermida, too, stuck out with the bases loaded, then broke his bat by pounding it against the ground. Fortunately, few witnessed that, or the 14 men Florida left on base, either.

"Rabbi, should I go to the see the Marlins play the Nationals?"  "I'm sorry, could you rephrase the question as a moral or theological quandary?"  "Rabbi, is it right to see the Marlins play the Nationals?"  "No, of course not.  The Marlins and Nationals are both horrible teams.  Go home and watch Hang Greenberg and Sandy Koufax on ESPN Classic or call your mother or listen to Jackie Mason comedy tapes.  When you hear the blowing of the Shofar, you don't want to have wasted your life watching poorly played baseball." -KD

{Fanhouse}