And here I thought The Venture Bros. was the only show that did David Bowie jokes.

Last night’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon featured Tebowie, advertised as “for the first time … Tim Tebow and David Bowie together as one” (unless you count Tim Machine and Tim Machine II). Fallon launched into a parody of Bowie’s “Space Oddity”, replacing Ground Control with Jesus Christ and one hundred-thousand miles with 316 yards. It’s not laugh out loud funny but it is clever, which you can’t say for every Tebow anthem (a fact you’ll learn more about that in today’s Friday Face-Off).

I hope the Broncos find a way to beat the Patriots just so the incessant coverage of Tebow can continue, because he’s such a great role model to Young Americans. What am I saying? Denver will Never Let Me Down.

Complete song lyrics are included after the jump.

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Welp!

I didn’t think Next Media Animation could top Tim Tebow as an angel stabbing a dolphin to death with a spear, but their latest episode features Tebow literally being crucified, crown of thorns and everything, and Jesus Christ himself, the son of an X-Box-purchasing God, Tebowing after defeating Satan with the Broncos in a game of heavenly Madden.

You know the drill by now. Taiwan has an endless supply of hallucinogens and low-rent computer graphics and cannot stop being amazing with them.

I can’t stop asking questions about this video. Can Tebow control lightning, now? What’s the John 3:16 guy doing in the endzone? What other games does Jesus have? How funny is it that when asked to pick a team in Madden, Satan would choose the Steelers? And most importantly, where can I get one of those r/atheism shirts?

You’ve got to love a clip where two ladies circling the Earth on a space shuttle they’re riding like a horse is the most reasonable part.

“If I’m the son of God, Tom Brady’s got to be the guy’s nephew.”

Saturday Night Live posts are usually reserved for the crew over at Warming Glow, but Saturday’s Jimmy-Fallonful episode of SNL managed the perfect explanation for Sunday’s Broncos/Patriots game — Jesus Christ couldn’t be around this week (he’s got a big birthday coming up) and Denver would have to help themselves. If you watched the second and third quarters of the game, you know how well that worked out for them. The camera kept cutting over to Tebow on the bench looking pensive while the horses were on defense, but it wasn’t enough. Yeah, I can’t believe it either.

Highlights of the clip that did not directly lead to an 18-point loss include a behind the scenes look at the Country Music Awards, a well-placed pair of tube socks and Jesus revealing that he prays to Matt Prater but isn’t always in our face about it. You can check out the video below.

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A loosely organized Christian movement has spread the word around the globe that Jesus Christ will return to earth on Saturday to gather the faithful into Heaven. Some people believe it, even though there’s a whole big part of the Bible that says nobody can know when Judgment Day is upon us (not even James Cameron) and that anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. There is a theological difference in the amillennial and postmillennial views of The Rapture, as well as inconsistencies in pre and posttribulation planning, but former Buffalo Bills All-Pro linebacker Darryl Talley will be live-tweeting the entire thing, including his after-rapture pool cleanup.

A few things to keep in mind should Jesus not actually return to Earth this weekend:

1) A failed prediction of The Rapture, even if it is believed by well-meaning Christians, should not be seen as proof that Christianity is “wrong.” These guys don’t speak for every Christian, and most rational people aren’t locking their dogs in the pool house and preparing to be taken. The “outspoken” representatives of any religion are usually the ones ruining it for everyone else.

2) Space out your episodes of “Growing Pains,” because Kirk Cameron is leaving no matter what you say happened and they aren’t gonna make any more.

3) Darryl Talley is not an authority on anything and should not be praised for trolling hastags.

But since we’re in the business of praising a-holes for being a-holes, click through for the best of Darry Talley Presents: The Rapture.

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