Tim Tebow’s brother Peter lives in Denver, loves Jesus (according to his Twitter bio, at least, I don’t know him personally or anything) and has over 15,000 Twitter followers, because every Bill Clinton needs his Roger. When the Broncos went down to the Ravens on Saturday, Peter took to the Tweeter and did a little harmless gloating:

That’s not too bad, right? A little misplaced schadenfreude from a guy with a misguided perspective. “My brother wasn’t good enough to play for your football team! I HOPE YOU LOSE! I also hope every other team also loses, I guess!” etc. Besides, his brother kinda-sorta plays for the Jets. What’s he supposed to do, enjoy victories?

Of course, by Monday the Twitter police was all over him, and Pete was forced to issue an apology for having football opinions:

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Throughout the first three weeks of the NFL season, I, like most people, made fun of the replacement refs and their seemingly endless blunders. But secretly, I felt really bad for them, because they were just average bros living a dream of calling penalties on the world’s largest stage. Granted, some of the replacement refs had been fired from the Lingerie Football League and Lance Easley wasn’t even qualified to ref college games, but they’re still people with real emotions.

And now that the real refs are back to make calls to piss us all off, the scabs are speaking out about what it was like to be hated by every NFL fan in America. Are they going to over-embellish their hardships with horrible analogies, comparing themselves to the Son of God? You bet your red flagged asses.

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Taiwan’s Next Media Animation asks the two most important questions about LeBron James and the Miami Heat’s 2012 NBA Championship victory:

1. Will LeBron win six more, so he can be better than Michael Jordan? And
2. Why were Jesus and God blatantly interfering in LeBron’s previous games?

Number two has a less obvious answer, but watching Jesus goaltend and God flatten LeBron like a bug for traveling driving the lane is fun to watch without having to know why. Other highlights include a pretty accurate depiction of the Oklahoma City Thunder standing around like bowling pins, Michael Jordan’s M. Bison laugh and Kevin Durant having lightning powers.

Video is below. Stick around until the end for maximum Carol.

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Last night, San Francisco Giants pitcher Matt Cain threw a perfect game. The 10-0 victory over the Houston Astros was the first perfect game in Giants franchise history and only the 22nd in Major League Baseball history. Some are calling it the greatest game ever pitched.

Cain, the longest-tenured Giant, has been through it all in his eight seasons in San Francisco. He has seen highs — a World Series title in 2010 — and lows — dozens of losses on nights when he was brilliant.

Through it all, Cain has been unflappable, but that trait never has been tested as it was Wednesday night.

“There’s really nothing like it,” said Cain, who previously had taken five no-hitters into the seventh inning and had a perfect game into the sixth inning of his second start this season.

“I was having to recheck myself to see the signs that Buster (Posey) was putting down. I was thinking about it. It felt like it was the World Series, but it almost felt a little louder.” (via Mercury News)

Cain’s special night is the feature of today’s Dugout, after the jump.

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Or, “Dude, yer gettin’ arrested for a hate crime”.

From the Detroit Free Press:

Detroit Tigers outfielder Delmon Young was arrested and faces a hate crime-related charge in connection with a dispute outside a hotel along New York’s 6th Avenue early this morning, a New York police spokesman told the Free Press.

“Basically, there was an incident at the hotel (and) some anti-Semitic remarks,” said Det. Joseph Cavitolo, who added that alcohol was involved.

Our exclusive, three-part report on this very serious matter is after the jump.

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Taiwan’s vaunted Next Media Animation is piecing together an animated, Walk The Line style biopic of Jeremy Lin, the first American-born NBA star of Chinese and Taiwanese heritage. If this first chapter (featuring Lin glowing gold with power and transmogrifying into a violent monkey is any indication) they’re just pasting Lin’s head onto Goku and badly adapting old episodes of Dragonball Z. Hopefully LeBron James and Dwyane Wade will show up as Androids before they’re done.

All anime and “Miami beating the dogsh*t out of the Knicks” jokes aside, the best part of the video isn’t Lin morphing into a “little monkey” and breaking somebody’s vase … it’s the fact that he’s saved from a lifetime lived as a monkey by Jesus himself, who works a little magic, teaches him to behave and gives him Go Go Gadget spring shoes. And here I thought NMA was being faithful to the Wiki page.

I’m guessing part two covers Golden State and his rise to prominence in New York, and part three puts lightning behind some guys with “journalist” written across their chests and has them tear Lin down with negative puns like “LINept!” or “LINeffective!” as soon as he starts having bad games.