Links

What Tim Tebow Is Saying While He’s Tebowing - “Jesusly” is an adjective (adverb?) I’m going to start using daily. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

40 Awesomely Nerdy License Plates - Yesterday I saw a truck with Texas plates that just said “EARTH”. Who signs up for vanity plates and is all, “you know what? Make it say EARTH”. And “Texas EARTH” for that matter. [Gamma Squad]

Mickey Rourke: “Most Actresses Are C*nts With A Capital K.” - Aside from that remark, this interview is awesome. How did you prepare? I showed up, and there were hot chicks. If his face didn’t look like that, he’d be my hero. [Film Drunk]

Not Everyone Thinks Highly Of Beats By Dre Headphones - Great, now he’s going to push back the release date and feel sorry for himself for a few years. [Smoking Section]

The Best Of #Buster Bluth - He’s a monster. [UPROXX]

Jason Segel and the Muppets Are Welcome to Host ‘SNL’ Any Time - Kermit touching his belly on the “Really” part of Weekend Update is my new favorite thing. I genuinely care more about Kermit than I do most celebrities. [Warming Glow]

Arnold Schwarzenegger Should Do DVD Commentary For Every Movie Ever - This is where I link you to Gamma Squad, and you go there and watch the video about Arnold Schwarzenegger. [Gamma Squad]

The Greatest Mugshot Ever - Our generation in a nutshell, people. [Buzzfeed]

Food Shoved Into Other Food - And bring us the finest food you’ve got stuffed with the second finest. [Adult Swim]

Awesomely Geeky Couple Poses for ‘Star Wars’ Engagement Photos - Sorry, no part of this is awesome. Star Wars scientifically cannot be awesome in 2011. It’s ruined, guys, go watch Babylon 5. [The FW]

Magazine Celebrates 50 Cent’s Five Different Personalities - I guess when he changes clothes it’s a different personality? [Popcrush]

20 Awesome Title Graphic GIF’s of 16 and 8-Bit Games - Super awesome. This is how we should be spending our time. (although I guess that leads to situations like the mugshot, doesn’t it) [Unreality]

A few in-house links, to start

- Like us on Facebook! We have a human (me) updating it now, so no more robot copy-pasta.
- Follow us on Twitter so you never miss an update.
- Follow me on Twitter, because I’m 20 followers away from 1,000 and need your validation.

Now, on to Taylor Swift looking surprised when she isn’t even surprised.

Links

Arrested Development Cast Reuniting for 10 More Shows & A Movie (No, Seriously This Time) - Six seasons and a movie! [Film Drunk]

Arrested Development Returns And The Internet Rejoices - If your friend says meh and thinks this won’t “live up” to the original series, tell him to appreciate it when he gets wonderful magical presents from God. I don’t care if this is just deleted scenes in a montage, I’m all over it. [UPROXX]

The Best Of #Entertainment 720 - Aw Snapple, are we calling everybody baby, now? [UPROXX]

Taylor Swift Performs With T.I. & Usher In Atlanta - Sorta like when Nelly recorded a song with Tim McGraw, but for teenagers instead of old people. [Smoking Section]

Life After Death: Cassettes Are Making A Indie Comeback - Hopefully cassingles will make a comeback, too, and I can finally unload this Poison “Unskinny Bop” cassingle I’ve been hoarding since like 1989. [Smoking Section]

Kenan Thompson Is Marrying This. - AW HERE IT GO. Ah well, the guy has had a sustainable comedy career for almost two decades, was a Mighty Duck and was in Good Burger. He deserves it. [Warming Glow]

Pie-Humper’s Wife Bought Him A Beej From A Hooker - Best/saddest line: “The most exciting part of the day was Keisha complimenting me on my blowjob skills. I love approval of any kind.” [Film Drunk]

Little Kid’s Reaction To Darth Vader Being Luke’s Father - Now let’s see his reaction to making the car lights come on using only The Force. [Gamma Squad]

5 Most Insane iPhone 5 Rumors - It will do your dishes! It can command your dog from over five miles away! It can sprout legs and attack you on the moon! YOU MUST HAVE IPHONE 5. [Buzzfeed]

High School Football Player Quits Team to Become Cheerleader - Good for him! I quit my high school football team to concentrate on my studies, and because I was terrible at football and shouldn’t have been on the football team. [Brobible]

The 20 Most Successful Christian-Themed Films of All Time - Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland counts, as it contained Christian themes like killing a dragon with a jumping sword slash and dancing so excitedly your head spins around. [Pajiba]

Last night’s episode of WWE Raw caused “anal bleeding” to become a trending topic on Twitter. Sometimes it’s hard to be a wrestling fan.

Here’s a recap of what led to … uh, anal bleeding, for those who weren’t watching. On last week’s show, new World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry, the 400+ pound “World’s Strongest Man”, harassed and beat up Raw’s announce team, including Jim Ross and 61-year old WWE Hall of Famer Jerry “The King” Lawler, culminating in Henry forecefully body-slamming Lawler through the ringside announcers table. This week, Ross gave us a health update for the absent Lawler — he’s feeling better and should be back next week. Michael Cole, play-by-play man and Jerry Lawler’s eternal enemy, added some late-breaking news … and I quote: “Jerry Lawler is suffering from bruised ribs and with all do respect, anal bleeding.” The statement was met with the expressions you see in the image up top. The world sorta slowed to a halt. What you see on the right is what immediately followed.

The topic built momentum and started trending worldwide, so much so that Cole and Ross acknowledged the success of “anal bleeding” after the next commercial break. Notice that it’s trending alongside SORRY JESUS. Being a trending topic isn’t as prestigious as people make it out to be, sure (especially when a three-year old Disney Channel movie and two Rachel Bilson-centric topics are trending alongside it), but the true humor comes from a world full of people not watching wrestling being suddenly confronted via social media by an embarrassing, unexpected world where jokes about bleeding from the ass aren’t that uncommon.

Here are a few of the “top tweets” from the trend:

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Forbes has released their annual Top 10 Most Influential Athletes list, and for the second year in a row, happy-to-not-be-aborted NFL quarterback Tim Tebow has ranked in the top ten. Tebow (who looks like a pre-surgery Bristol Palin) is one of four NFL players to make the list, along with Indianapolis Colts QB Peyton Manning, Pittsburgh Steelers safety Troy Polamalu, and New England Patriots Derby-attender Tom Brady. The difference between Tebow and the other people on the list is that the other people on the list have actually done things in professional football.

Tebow dropped from number three in 2010 to number ten in 2011. If he wants to get back to the top, he’s only got two options: win a Super Bowl, or write the entirety of Ephesians 6:10-18 across his forehead and hope for the best.

Interestingly enough, Forbes list contains no professional baseball, hockey or soccer players, but does feature a swimmer and three guys who drive cars. I don’t want to get into the “are NASCAR drivers athletes” debate (because they aren’t, because come on), but I understand their placement: if Dale Earnhardt Jr. told someone in my family to grab a knife and stab me, I’d be stabbed before he explained why.

[Forbes]

The Dugout’s Spring Training 2011 event continues this afternoon with the Atlanta Braves, and the very real, serious story of minor league manager Luis Salazar losing a body part because he never became one with The Matrix and couldn’t dodge a line drive off the bat of Brian McCann.  In case you are new to The Dugout, I would like to openly express how little I would like to lose a body part myself, regardless of the situation.  I think that losing a body part would, probably, be a bad thing.

That said, here is a webcomic that manages to be ill-informed and somewhat theologically offensive at the same time.  Today’s Dugout follows, after the jump.  Leave us a comment, would you?  Unless you don’t want to SEE … the Dugout on With Leather anymore.

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As a founding member of the Church of Blake Lively’s Chest, I’m a man who doesn’t like to talk too much about religion since it’s such a polarizing subject. But I do appreciate anything that helps spread positive messages to America’s youth, especially when so many kids are up to no good and always listening to the hip hop music and taking the weed. I also love talking about professional wrestling, and it just so happens that the people behind the Christian Wrestling Federation have been mixing action-packed wrasslin’ with messages of love and peace.

Because nothing says love and peace like a dropkick from the top turn buckle followed by a DDT into a camel clutch. After the jump, check out CWF founder Rob “Jesus Freak” Vaughn and his mission statement for his federation…

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