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Links

Photoshop Challenge: Come At Bane, Bro - That pose still makes me think people should be photoshopping him into Moonwalker. I really don’t want Zoidberg-face Bane to be the Venom of the Batman movie franchise. [UPROXX]

Louis C.K.’s Advice To Young People - The world would be a lot better if we listened to him more, and listened less to Jim Gaffigan. [UPROXX]

7 New and Returning January Shows You Should Seek Out and 7 You Should Avoid - Avoid: basically everything debuting in January. Seek out: Venture Bros. DVDs. [Warming Glow]

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Buy a PS Vita - #6. Portable gaming is for babies and yeah, Patapon is pretty awesome when you’re in line at Walgreens but so is talking to strangers. [Gamma Squad]

Meet The New GamePad Controller For iOS Devices - Like I said. If you’re gonna use a controller bigger than the screen, you should probably just be playing at home. Or at an arcade, if one still exists near you. This doesn’t make Angry Birds any more fun to play on the toilet. [Smoking Section]

Man Misses Mouse And Shoots Roommate, Revealing Child Rapist - I love that Vince got the best story of the year out of the way early. I feel like “making a girl hide in a closet for any reason other than hide-and-seek or hilarious stakeouts” should be Instant Death Penalty. [Film Drunk]

Who Gets To Continue To Be Awful At Their Job And Who Does Not? - Anything with a Flintstones header gets love from me. If I had it my way, With Leather would be a Flintstones fan site and I’d be doing slideshows about The Twitch. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

20 People Who Don’t Know What A New Year’s Resolution Is - My new year’s revolution: 360 degrees. [Buzzfeed]

12 New Year’s Resolutions for 2012 Moviegoers - Mine are “see more movies at Alamo Drafthouse, where people get kicked in the ass for texting” and “make somebody release a Criterion Collection edition of City Lights“. [Moviefone]

5 Actors Who Got Their Start on ‘Punk’d’ - I like knowing that Whitney used to look like even more of a plastic surgery monster. They should make an “actors who got their end on Punk’d” and put Brandy on it. [The FW]

Five Shows That Started Off Slow (and Have Since Hit Their Stride) - I am going to strangle the next person who tells me ‘Happy Endings’ is good. Kim Bauer making Scrubs face about Scrubs-level jokes is not my idea of a good show. [Unreality]

Hero: Jessica Alba had a baby in August and looks like this in a bikini now - Welp. [FARK]

The 10 Best Movies You Didn’t See in 2011 - I never got around to seeing Thor, does that count? [Pajiba]

My friend barely turned his head in my direction when he muttered, “I know you’re a Cardinals fan, but I thought that maybe you could at least appreciate Jeter’s accomplishment.” I wasn’t sure why he would say that, because as a St. Louis Cardinals fan, I’m generally viewed as the classiest and most intelligent of baseball fans. But regardless, of course I can appreciate Derek Jeter’s 3,000th hit this past Saturday. How could anyone not appreciate it?

Jeter became the first player in his franchise’s storied history to record his 3,000th career hit, and he did it in perfect New York Yankee fashion – with a home run. He became just the 28th player in Major League Baseball history to accomplish the feat of 3,000 hits, and only the second to do it with a home run (Wade Boggs) and while going 5-for-5 at the plate during that game (Craig Biggio). And with all reasonable probability, he’ll be one of the last few to hit 3,000 for quite some time.

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Since ABC televised the Oscars last night, Jimmy Kimmel managed to get a handful of big-time guests for his show following that telecast. And he also got some of the hottest women in Hollywood to take part in this spoof workout video that he put together. Jessica Biel, Minka Kelly, and even old WL fave ScarJo is in it, among others, and if Kimmel wasn’t wearing an ass-tastic thong here you could almost whittle your afternoon away watching this.

And Kelly Ripa has some terrifying talking abs. No wonder Regis is quitting. Watch it after the jump, or if you’re stuck someplace without Flash, like at work or on an iPad, we have stills for you as well.
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