In the past, regarding the Jerry Sandusky scandal and Penn State, we have tried to be as mature and considerate as we possibly could be, because we are not sports preachers, at least not most of the time. We do not profess to be journalists, nor are we out to provide big scoops and breaking news. We’re just a couple of guys who like to present prominent sports stories and Kate Upton news with a touch of humor.

There is nothing funny about what Jerry Sandusky did, and with that there is nothing funny about the Freeh Report’s findings, released this morning. Sure, there were jokes to be made about the name Freeh Report, but we don’t have any jokes about what Sandusky is currently rotting in prison for. I don’t have much of a response to what the findings revealed about Joe Paterno, because it reaches far beyond “disappointing”. I also can’t bring myself to read the entire Freeh Report, because I’m a natural pessimist. I think this world is spiraling into chaos and I’d love to spend my last 150-160 years on this planet on an island. God knows what reading the entire report would do to my brain.

But you can read it if you’d like. All 250+ pages are available right here. If you’re a Penn State student, student-athlete, alumni, fan, and/or employee, you’re not going to like any of it. Nobody is going to like any of it. There will be outrage. There are already people calling for the NCAA to drop the death penalty hammer, Penn State to destroy Joe Paterno’s statue, and probably much worse.

Again, we have nothing funny to say about any of it.

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Here we see the latest in Austin, Texas’ quest to lose all of its cool points — shifty rape jokes on its local bar marquees. This pic comes to us via the Twitter of area improv comic/copywriter/friend of mine Reagan Ward, and I’m proud to say she told people about it immediately instead of waiting for someone to find out. Cough.

The Ranch is advertised as the “best bar in Austin, Texas for nightlife, bottle service and a general good time”, and I’m pretty sure their idea of “a general good time” and mine conflict. To their credit, heavy drinking is really the only way to process the Jerry Sandusky thing. To their discredit, they are offering a drink special with a child molestation theme. Why not just advertise it as “Anal Grape” and go the full nine?

The next time you’re in Austin, drink anywhere but The Ranch.

Former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was convicted Saturday on 45 of 48 counts of sexual abuse, misconduct, and a variety of other terrible, despicable, and truly heinous charges, which means that, barring an appeal miracle, the 68-year old will rot in jail until the day that he dies. And from there he will be shuttled by a chariot of flaming skulls into the kingdom of Hell, where he will rot for eternity whilst a billion tortured souls take turns slapping him in the genitals with a cactus made of rusted nails.

Sandusky’s attorneys, who admitted that they wanted to quit before the trial began because they had no time to prepare, plan to appeal based on the grounds that the tapes that NBC submitted of Sandusky’s interview with Bob Costas were misleading. Whatever. Appeal away. Because more victims will come forward, and Sandusky will just be missing out on some lovely song time at the prison.

Other prisoners were barred from communicating directly with Sandusky, but they could see him. And when the lights went out, inmates serenaded the disgraced coach with a famous line from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.”

“At night, we were singing ‘Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone,’ ” Josh said, adding that everyone knew who Sandusky was because inmates had access to television and newspapers. The jail can hold 349 inmates. (Via The Daily)

But don’t get too excited about that old wives tale that prisoners will gut him like a fish when he enters general population. Apparently prison justice isn’t how we’ve all dreamed.

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When asked by investigators if former Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary had reported witnessing Jerry Sandusky raping a young child in team facilities, former Penn State University athletic director Tim Curley said no. However, former Penn State coach Joe Paterno admitted that he had a discussion with McQueary about what he saw, so Curley and former PSU vice president Gary Schultz, who also replied, “Huh? Wha? No way, dude,” were charged with perjury and failure to report a crime.

Now the attorney for Schultz is asking for those charges to be dismissed, since Paterno has since passed and he never gave his actual sworn testimony. I’d like to act shocked and appalled, but I assume this is just the tip of the convenience iceberg.

Paterno’s recollection and testimony about a conversation with former assistant coach Mike McQueary would have been the corroboration required by law for prosecutors to prove that the 57-year-old Curley lied to the grand jury when he said McQueary did not tell him that he had witnessed anything about Sandusky that needed to be reported to police, Roberto argued. (Via The Patriot News)

The prosecutors were going to ask Paterno for his testimony back in November, but they were told that he was too sick. So they waited, waited waited… and now they’re left with an unofficial testimony that is never going to stand up and McQueary’s word, and Pennsylvania law doesn’t allow perjury charges to be determined by just one man’s word against another.

Obviously, this news just further proves that Paterno’s legacy will continued to be defined by what he might have known, while the people implicated in the entire Sandusky ordeal use JoePa’s passing as their bullet-proof vest.

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Today marks the third and final day of memorial services for former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, who passed away on Sunday. For the past two days, Paterno’s friends, family, former players and fans, as well as PSU students and faculty, have shown their respect for the man that doctors say died of complications from lung cancer, while those mourning believe it was a broken heart. More than 12,000 people will fill the Bryce Jordan Center today for the final memorial service.

But of course he won’t rest peacefully, because we won’t stop talking about him. While we mostly loathe and detest them, the Westboro Baptist Church members will be protesting today’s service, as they apparently couldn’t sue enough people to afford hotel rooms yesterday, and they unfortunately represent the heated conversation about Paterno’s legacy that will undoubtedly continue for years.

I don’t have much of an opinion on that, though, as I’ve previously written. There are obviously many people who will overlook the last three months of Paterno’s life in favor of what he did for 46 years. And there are others who will do the complete opposite. If anything, these last three days have been a massive effort by the former to soften the criticism of the latter, but I really doubt it’s going to work. Judgment is easily passed by people who don’t have time to wait for answers.

It’s a good thing so many people were there for each other to mourn their hero, because they’ll need each other to get through the entire Jerry Sandusky ordeal and what he and his alleged actions will ultimately mean to Paterno’s legacy.

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I hate writing obituaries and memoriam posts. Unless you truly know a person, they’re just usually so forced and awkward. Although, with sports it’s a little different, because we are inspired by athletes and coaches on a regular basis, so we feel like we know these people. That’s what makes this whole Joe Paterno thing incredibly strange.

I used to wonder why Paterno was such a big deal. He only won two national championships and the last one was in 1986. I viewed him the same way that I did Bobby Knight – “What have you done for me lately?” But I always lacked one thing that would have given me actual perception – a favorite college football team. Growing up, I had no allegiance to any college football teams, so I never actually understood how incredible it is for one guy to stay with the same team for a career. And now, as a fan of the UCF Knights, I openly beg for George O’Leary to be fired.

That’s why this quote that I came across in reading the media’s reaction to JoePa’s death stuck out a little.

“Why leave?” Paterno explained in a 1995 interview with the Tampa Tribune. “It’s got everything I want: small town, a college town. I can walk home after games. I’ve been accepted as a faculty member, not treated as a dumb jock. I can do things that suit me intellectually; I’m a little bit of an egghead.”

I admire that. As we’ve seen far too often, players and coaches want bright lights and big cities. JoePa was apparently happy with the small town. It’s refreshing, to say the least. That’s why I can understand the incredible outpouring of emotions and respect the students and alumni have been showing for JoePa since news of his death broke yesterday. They see the 46 years of head coaching and the man who charged onto the field for 409 victories.

However, that’s mostly limited to his friends, fans and former players, because the rest of us see him for who he became over the last three months of his life. I don’t quite know how I feel about Paterno anymore. I used to not care who he was. He was a coach, cool. Then I thought he was great because he stuck around and he was this cool old dude who crapped himself during a game.

But now I just want answers. I think we all want answers, because none of us wants our heroes to be exposed as anything but perfect. That’s why I understand the love for JoePa. I don’t agree with it, but I understand it. And we’ll probably never get those answers now that he’s gone. Most of us won’t settle for “I never heard of that” as an excuse for turning a blind eye to his friend and defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky allegedly raping children in Penn State facilities. Aware or not, that’s the man’s legacy. Trust me, I don’t want it to be his legacy, but I don’t think anything will ever happen to change it now that he’s gone.

And it’s a shame, because he’s still a hero to so many people, who will spend the rest of their lives defending him, despite still wanting the questions answered. After the jump, I have some reactions from the media and JoePa’s friends, as well as pictures from the Penn State student body’s tribute.

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