WWE’s Royal Rumble 2013 goes down on January 27, and I think I speak for everyone when I say the best part of a Royal Rumble match is when they herd a wrestler in front of a green screen and tell him to explain off the top of his head why he’s gonna win. Very few things make a wrestling fan feel like a kid again like Hulk Hogan pointing with an open palm and yelling about vitamins in front of a horrible yellow background reading HULK HOGAN.

To prepare for the Rumble, I’ll be putting up a retro Best And Worst report (or two), but step one is the celebration of these promo montages. When the mid-90s hit they went the way of the dodo, but I’ve put together a gallery of some of the best from 89-96. If you only watch one thing, watch the video where swank 1995 Pamela Anderson gets weird voicemail messages from Doink the Clown about how he’s gonna nail her when he wins the Royal Rumble. Hell, even if you don’t like wrestling, watch that one.

Enjoy. If I missed one of your favorites, be sure to post it in our comments section below.

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Pre-show notes:

- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are immensely appreciated. It’s Christmas, and if you aren’t going to send me presents, you can help make my column slightly more popular. Also, send me presents.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- Reminder: If you live in the Virginia/Tennessee area, I will be attending the NWA Smoky Mountain Wrestling show on the 14th of December, so if you know who I am, come by and say hi. I’ll also be at the ACW show in Austin that Sunday, because of course I will be.

Now, please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for December 11, 2012. The title to a Best And Worst column has never been more appropriate.

"I just heard about WWE this afternoon!"

Pre-show notes:

- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are deeply appreciated. I throw a commenting badge on every single one of these, but I’d like to just write to a community that doesn’t mind helping out and clicking a few buttons. Also, I’d run out of badges, and nobody’s going to click like for a ROMAN REIGNS’ COOL JACKET badge.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- GIFs in this week’s report are courtesy of THESTINGER, because he is a gracious and generous Wrestling Bro.

- Chikara’s season finale ‘Under The Hood’ is airing on iPPV this weekend, and if you’re any kind of Wrestling Bro, you’ll order and watch it. It’s only $17 bucks, and you can watch it as much as you want. I guarantee you that ACH vs. Mr. Touchdown will justify a show worth three times as much.

Please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for November 26, 2012.

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Pre-show notes:

- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are greatly appreciated. I need your help to make this continue being a thing. Do your part! It’s like Starship Troopers, but with wrestling columns.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- If you like reading my thoughts on wrestling and wish I wrote about something other than WWE, be sure to hop over to Tom Holzerman’s The Wrestling Blog to read my review for Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s 2012 Lone Star Classic. I can curse without stars over there!

- Don’t just skim past that into graphic thinking you know what it says.

Please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for November 12, 2012. Or just hack into your friend’s phone and read it later.

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Tonight, on the ALL BRAD MADDOX’S VEST edition of the WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread:

The topic of the week is food, and not just because Thanksgiving is officially around the corner. Specifically, we’re talking about the latest course in Ryback’s never-ending feeding frenzy throughout the ranks of WWE. The monster finally fed on CM Punk last week, decimating the WWE Champion in a tag team match only hours after Mr. McMahon declared Ryback and John Cena would challenge for The Second City Saint’s title in a Triple Threat Match at Survivor Series. But even so, it seemed to be Cena who got Ryback’s mouth watering the most, and the specter of an all-out brawl between the two strongmen now looms large. What developments will Monday bring? Here’s our five-point preview.

PS: Jerry Lawler’s back!!! We’re excited, too. (via WWE.com)

1. Chance that someone will use Jerry Lawler’s for-real almost-death on Raw to get heel heat: 100%. Chance Lawler will use it as the punchline to a joke about how he wants to see Diva boobies: Also 100%. “Woo hoo, Cole! I would pass out on Raw and die if Kelly Kelly gave me the stink face!” etc.

2. Having been changed from Team Foley and Team Punk, Team Orton and Team Ziggler will change members again and become Team Heath Slater versus Team David Otunga. It will be AWESOME. Ezekiel Jackson will be back for it, probably!

3. Brad Maddox will defeat Ryback and earn an Iron Clad Contract, which (according to that WWE hierarchy chart floating around) means only The Big Show can hire or fire him.

4. If they don’t have a backstage Thanksgiving party this week where somebody gets thrown into a bowl of stuffing (or whatever), they’ll do it next week. Santino will say “the thanks of givingses!” and people who have never heard jokes before will laugh and laugh.

5. JOHN CENA in all capital letters.

As always, my 10 favorite comments from tonight’s WWE Raw Open Discussion Thread will be featured in tomorrow’s Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column. To nominate a comment for Top 10 status, please reply to it with a +1. Be sure to tell everyone you have ever met about these live threads, because they are the best thing about wrestling.

Pre-show notes:

- Make sure you read the Best And Worst Of WWE Hell In A Cell 2012 before reading about Raw, or you won’t know who everyone is or what’s happened so far! (I wish wrestling worked like actual stories.)

- Comments, shares, likes, what-have-you are greatly appreciated. Be a wrestling bro!

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

- Halloween costumes are at the very end, make sure you don’t miss them.

And now, please click through and enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw for October 29, 2012.

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