This weekend’s college football action was pretty uninspiring, but mainly because I barely watched any games, since I was in a drunken stupor on Bourbon Street for roughly 50 or so hours. But in between 3-for-1 beers and drinking shots out of the mouths of chubby waitresses, I remembered watching the USF-Pittsburgh game and wondering aloud, “Did that USF fan just pick his nose and eat it?” Because, you know, I’m fascinated by this sort of intellectual conversation.

But you bet your ass my eyes weren’t lying, and thanks to my good buddy Vic we have some footage of our latest booger-eating culprit. While the Bulls lost to Pitt 17-10, this lucky fan will live on infamy with some of the greatest booger eaters in sports history. So join us, won’t you, for this journey through the With Leather Booger Eater Hall of Fame (and feel free to remind me of any glaring omissions)…

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I know this may shock you, but I’m not a billionaire owner of a sports franchise. Despite my best efforts and a possible restraining order by Rich DeVos, being an Orlando Magic season ticket holder does not make me 1/18,000th part owner of the team. Stupid semantics. But I suppose if I were the billionaire owner of a sports franchise, I’d probably want my team to win. If it didn’t, I’d probably go out, get hammered, and hit on anything with a pulse and tits. You heard me, Andy Reid.

Enter Jerry Jones. The Dallas Cowboys owner has seen better days, as his 1-7 squad has been the butt of the 2010-11 season’s biggest joke. With franchise QB Tony Romo down, a midseason coaching transition that violates his own unwritten rules, and a defense that couldn’t stop Khloe Kardashian from leaving a Weight Watchers meeting, Jones needs some release. That’s presumably why he ended up at the Lavo night club at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas last night, dressed like a Jersey Shore castaway and pimping a Super Bowl ring as he posed for pictures with a bunch of young, hot pieces of ass.

Good for Jerry. Sometimes I wish one of the 607 owners of the Miami Dolphins would go out and get crazy. Like Jennifer Lopez. Except instead of going out in Las Vegas, maybe she could dive into a wood chipper. Same difference.

(Photo via TMZ.com and SpyOnVegas.com)

As if things weren’t bad enough for the Dallas Cowboys, it seems that the organization once endearingly known as America’s Team just can’t get anything right. With franchise quarterback Tony Romo down for the season and owner Jerry Jones breaking his own rule about terminating his head coach in the middle of a season, the franchise completely disappeared from the face of the Earth. Or at least the World Wide Web.

It turns out that someone within the organization forgot to renew the team’s official domain, DallasCowboys.com, so for a good chunk of Sunday, not only was the team’s web site unavailable, but it was also available for purchase. Instead of the standard links to the schedule, roster, merchandise, etc., fans were greeted by a stock image. I like to think it looked like this.

Hey Dallas News, do we know for sure whose fault this is? I hope it’s someone noteworthy.

In the publicly available database on WhoIs.com, the domain’s registrant is listed as Dallas Cowboys Football Club Ltd., but the specific e-mail address administrative contact is for Jerry Jones Jr., son of owner Jerry Jones and executive vice president and chief sales and marketing officer for the team.

A message to that e-mail address and a phone call to Jones Jr. were not returned.

In fairness to the younger Jones, he was busy clearing out Wade Phillips’ mini fridges and purchasing a new parking sign for Head Coach Jason Garrett. Then he had to drive away from the facilities when he called to order another new parking sign for Head Coach Jon Gruden. He’s just a busy guy, that’s all.

We’ll get a recap of all the weekend business tomorrow, but we can’t help but be elated with the Green Bay Packers putting together a 45-7 drubbing of the Dallas Cowboys in the Sunday Night game. The game was over so quickly that Cris Collinsworth almost ran out of ways to be folksy.

Aside from Jon Kitna and Dez Bryant (9 catches, 86 yards, 1 TD) playing catch in the first half, the Cowboys did almost nothing worth mentioning. The highlight of the game for Dallas was probably watching Roy Williams take a helmet-to-helmet shot from Green Bay’s Nick Collins. I appreciate that Collins stays true to his thuggish self, even in the face of a blowout.

Of course the big question is whether or not Cowboys coach Wade Phillips will keep his job. Going into last night, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones seemed content to let Phillips finish the last year of his contract with utter futility, but last night’s embarrassment on national TV might change that. I personally think Wade should stay; the last way to reward a guy that’s been so sh;tty at his job is to give him more time off during the holidays. Plus, how awesome has it been to watch the Cowboys lose almost every game this season? More awesome than giving bootleg mammograms in the parking lot of a Catholic high school. Yeah, I went there.

Somebody in the Dallas Cowboys war room (“Gentlemen! You can’t fight in here!“) decided it would be a good idea to take a picture of the club’s draft board, and I’m sure that fire shot out of Jerry Jones’ eyes and nostrils immediately after this was taken.

Because the Cowboys are pretty free and easy about access to their “War Room” with live cams and mics and all manner of other ways to “look in”, it is only obvious that the classified information that they have around the room would be interesting to those of us who want to know what the scouting department has been up to for the past year.

So, people with great computers use pictures like the one above, and begin to decode the Cowboys information with pictures that the Cowboys themselves have taken and released. Isn’t this awesome? –via The Ticket.

It’s a pretty neat peak at all the information that a team is forced to process before (and during) the draft. Think about that the next time that guy in your fantasy league team and you can’t decide between Austin Collie and the Jets defense. Just use the cheat sheet in your magazine, douchebag.

If Jerry Jones is anything, he’s controversial, so why wouldn’t he let someone film him with the worst camera imaginable, bad-mouthing Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow?

Tebow, who will be entering the NFL draft as one of the most polarizing talents in recent football memory, was the main topic of Jones’ mini-rant. We all know Jerry loves to stir the pot, so Tebow would be a perfect fit for a Cowboys team always looking to add the next character, right?

Wrong. Jones doesn’t need him. Via Deadspin …

Different other guy: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell f**king jerseys?

JJ: That’s the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.

[Laughter]

JJ: Bill’s not worth a s**t. I love him.

Different other guy: I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a s**t, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad. J’s gotta have a yes man. So to get this f**kin’ stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn’t take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He’d never get on the field. I can’t get him out there.

The man has a good point, except I’m sure there isn’t a state in the world more suited for a Christian boy with a huge heart and the ability to wrangle up fans by the thousands than Texas. Oh, and circumcision. That stuff’s huge in Plano. Read the rest of this entry »