In the most embarrassing moment to happen to him since he tried to teach Jesse Katsopolis how to play basketball, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar was scolded by ‘Jeopardy!’ host Alex Trebek for asking “What is X” when the question we were looking for was “what is G, you old creep”. Apparently Jeopardy is a family show, and “what is the back of Linda Lovelace’s throat” has never been an answer. Who knew?
You can check out video of the moment below, and don’t worry, it wasn’t shot on 8 MM film.
Yes, The Karate Kid Turned 50, You’re Old - Someone should make a prequel to the sequel that uses the same actors (and a CGI Pat Morita) to explain what happened between when Daniel won his trophy and that “live or die” stuff that went on in the parking lot. [Film Drunk]
‘Women Struggling To Drink Water’ Is The New ‘Women Laughing Alone With Salad’ - Further proof that we are pretty f**ked as a society, unless this is some sort of Mel Brooks tribute. [UPROXX]
A Compendium of Cool Comics Cosplay: November 4th - Women in meticulously put-together Gamora costumes #cangetit [Gamma Squad]
PoV: Michael Jackson, The Crip - Study question: If the Internet and Twitter had been around when Michael Jackson released ‘Off The Wall’, would he have been able to survive it? Imagine if Bieber released a Justin Timberlake album today. [Smoking Section]
Louis C.K. Tells Conan That He’ll Sell His Next Comedy Special Online For $5 Via Paypal - I still feel weird whenever I see people refer to Louis as “white people” comedy, or say that you could only get it if you’re white. I feel like that’s the worst condemnation ever. Jeff Dunham is white people comedy, Louis C.K. is just a funny guy who is great at speaking. [UPROXX]
More Bill Murray Fan Art From Last Night’s “Please Post Bills” Exhibit - Needs more The Razor’s Edge and Cradle Will Rock related art. Dude was in more than Ghostbusters, people. [UPROXX]
“What Is a Threesome?” - “Something that makes your crazy girlfriend crazier and eventually ruins everything, but is super, super fun”, Alex. [Warming Glow]
The World’s Fastest Computer is Japanese, Kinda Scary - Like that guy in Kenya, but with magical powers. [Gamma Squad]
10 Nifty Google Easter Eggs That Will Amuse You - I don’t know why the “do a barrel roll” gag made me so happy, but it did. I’m going to give up blogging and just play Star Fox for a living. [Buzzfeed]
Adult Swim’s Internet Treasures - Hopefully “the JenniCam archives, complete with video of that time she had sex with her Chewbacca-ass boyfriend on cam” show up in here somewhere. I can’t be the only person googling for that every month, can I? [Adult Swim]
Kittens Take Over Classic Rock Album Covers - Yes, Internet, you’ll like this. [Popcrush]
Tim Burton Wanted Ray Liotta To Play Batman - He should’ve gotten Liotta to be Batman and Kevin Costner to be The Joker, then had Liotta throw batarangs right-handed and pissed everybody off. [FARK]
Taylor Lautner’s Senior Quote - This is a joke, but if the real one was anything less vague than “believe in yourself” I’ll sit down and watch all 15 Twilight movies right now. [High Definite]
15 Alison Brie-Inspired Halloween Costume Ideas - This could be Matt’s finest work to date. I’m covering the 9th Annual Corgi Celebration in Austin for him this weekend, though, so if Alison Brie makes an appearance there, we can do even better. [Warming Glow]
Plots From The Unaired Season 8 of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ Make Hilarious Tweets - They should publish some of the plots I wrote for season 9, wherein Captain Picard and his new best friend Ensign Brandon have to defeat the Romulans, and then Ensign Brandon has to save the ship. [Gamma Squad]
Drake Covers November 2011 Issue Of The Source Magazine, Eats Gold Chain - Then he says “chain” in his normal voice, stops, then says “BALLIN” in a deeper voice, because “ball and chain” and “ballin” are both phrases. [Smoking Section]
Steve Buscemi Has Amassed Quite An Impressive Death Reel - Steve Buscemi has an impressive everything, except face. And one time he made out with hottest possible Thora Birch. [UPROXX]
Kirk Cameron Swears His Birthday Party Was Actually Super Fun And Everyone Came - but now how you’re thinking [Film Drunk]
Hot Chicks with Butthead Gums - All they had to do was use a normal picture of Miley Cyrus, her mouth usually looks like that already. [Buzzfeed]
Adult Swim’s Guide to the Atlanta Zombie Apocalypse - “Kill maybe one zombie a day, spend the rest of your time having relationship issues with your friends and gritting your teeth.” [Adult Swim]
25 Things You May Not Know About ‘Donnie Darko’ - #26: What happened in the movie ‘Donnie Darko’. [Moviefone]
12 Absurd Boxer Shorts That Will Guarantee You Never Seal the Deal With a Woman - If you wear boxer shorts at all (and aren’t like, Rick Ross) you shouldn’t get laid. Boxer briefs are where it’s at, gentlemen. [The Smoking Jacket]
Jeopardy Legend Ken Jennings Is a 99 Percenter - I’m happy to be finally lumped in with this guy about something. [The Daily What]
61-Year-Old Man Steals $130,000 From Employer to Fund His Online Porn Subscriptions - Just like the time I got my ex-girlfriend to get me a trial subscription to Camwhorevids, but on a grander scale. (P.S. I miss you, Mitra) [Brobible]
The Evolution of Cosplay in One Image - What the guy at Unreality know is that the one on the right is supposed to look like that. Also, which one is on the right. [Unreality]
If you missed out on the man-versus-machine match on “Jeopardy!” earlier this week, we humans basically got our asses kicked. Watson, the IBM supercomputer designed for the two-game match, won with $77,147. Former “Jeopardy!” champs Ken Jennings and Brad Rutter finished with $24,000 and $21,600, respectively.
Everyone involved seemed to recognize this as a historic event in computing, and if you haven’t read Jennings’s chat on the Washington Post website from Tuesday or his piece on Slate yesterday, you’d be entertained by both. A sampling from the former:
Q: I was suprised that you only got through the first round. I found too much of the first night devoted to IBM, like a long commercial. What is the format of the next two nights?
A: The contest is two games stretched out over three nights: another half game tomorrow, with the final game Wednesday. In addition to giving IBM a nice infomercial spot (if you buy a Watson 1.0 license for home use, you also get a Watson mouse pad and some steak knives!) the documentary spots help explain how the contest came together, why this truly represents an AI breakthrough, and so forth.
It reminds me of the “human interest” stuff that always clogs up Olympic footage. Revealed tonight: Watson hopes to win these games for its adorable little sister, who has leukemia!
Other computer conquests of humans in games include Deep Blue’s controversial chess win against Garry Kasparov in 1997 and the CPU opponent against me every time I play Madden. How does that damn game ALWAYS come up with 2 touchdowns in the last 1:15? Total bologna.