And morning links. Man, this guy loves trouble.

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Links

Official FilmDrunk Oscars Open Thread - When Viola Davis isn’t awarded for acting but an Oscar goes to the MM MMS I LUBS ME SOME FRIED CHICKEN GURRRL monologue from The Help, you know something’s wrong. [Film Drunk]

The 10 Greatest Oscar Travesties Since 1941 - Number one all time: Jurassic Park not winning Best Picture against literally anything they could put up against it. [Buzzfeed]

HBO’s 10 Greatest Musical Moments - Numbers one through ten: that DA DA DAAAAAA music that plays while the HBO logo from the 80s flies through space. [Warming Glow]

Creature Gear — 6 Pieces of Technology We Should Give to Zoo Animals - I want to stay away from any real life we3 situations that involve me being murdered by something yelling GUD DOG at me. [Gamma Squad]

Meme Watch: The Captain Kitteh Jokes Sail Full Speed Ahead - There needs to be a Delta version where you have to suddenly wait six hours between Captain Kitteh pictures because they still think booking flights on the Internet is make believe. [UPROXX]

The 10 Best GIFs From Thursday Night Television - |UPROXX|

DMX Had A Unique Hennessey Diet While Filming Belly - You aren’t going to care, but I’ve been mad at Belly for like 15 years for getting T-Boz from TLC naked in a movie and filming her in pitch blackness. [Smoking Section]

Review: Wanderlust - “Did not feature T-Boz from TLC nude. Would not watch again.” [Film Drunk]

Pamela Anderson proudly displays Spring’s latest look – eyebrows painted on a snare drum - If I was God, the first thing I’d do is get rid of airplane turbulence. The second thing I’d do is time displace ‘Home Improvement’-era Pam Anderson forever. [FARK]

Man Tests Bulletproof Vest By Shooting Himself [NSFW] - Alternate headline: “Man is total goober, earns place in next 10 editions of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader”. [The FW]

That Really Awkward Photo That Made Brad Pitt Look Like David Spade - That makes Angelina Jolie that illogically hot girl you always find out is banging David Spade, I guess. [Pajiba]

If All the Avengers Posed Like Black Widow - Pro wrestling gets a lot of sh*t for latent homosexuality, but man, it ain’t got nothin’ on comic books. [Unreality]

Samuel L. Jackson x Melody Sheep – Go The F**k To Sleep - New career goal: have someone type “Brandon Stroud x Melody Sheep – Go The F**k To Sleep” about something I’ve done. [High Definite]

He’s won the Heisman Trophy, two BCS National Championships and had his pants sell for $5,000 on eBay, but now Denver Broncos sorta-quarterback Tim Tebow is winning the awards that really matter … like the fifth annual Zillow Celebrity Neighbor Survey. Yes, that is a thing. It “asks Americans which celebrities they would most like to have as their neighbor, as well as celebs with whom they wouldn’t dare share a fence” and Tebow is on top. The Jersey Shore people are on the bottom, as usual.

From People, with a hat tip to Sportress Of Blogitude:

U.S. adults would most like to be neighbors with Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow, whose unshakable attitude and consistent displays of faith during games (a.k.a. “Tebowing”) has bolstered much media attention during the last year. The survey showed the 24-year-old athlete’s popularity was significantly higher among males (14 percent) compared to females (7 percent).

Celebrity super couples Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux received 10 percent and 9 percent of the vote, respectively.

He’s a kindhearted gentleman and you get an endless supply of footballs lost in your yard!

Also, how funny is it that Justin Theroux is considered one-half of a “celebrity super couple”? I get that he’s dating a lady who was on ‘Friends’, but damn, being Leslie Knope’s worst boyfriend for four episodes and playing a cowboy in Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion don’t make you an A-lister. I agree with most of the rest of the list (including Nancy Grace ranking on both lists, because whatever, people are stupid in both directions), but I would love to have Lindsay Lohan as a neighbor. She’s never home, and when she IS there’s a chance she’ll be naked and falling all over me. Also, it would mean I’m rich enough to live in Lindsay Lohan’s neighborhood.