I spent three and a half years writing Dugouts for AOL FanHouse, and only a few topics were taboo. One was the FanHouse Fantasy Girls. I could more or less slander MLB players on a regular basis, but I couldn’t have an ill-dressed stripper reading box scores. I also wanted to make fun of the writing style of Terence Moore.
But do you think they’d let me do that?
Even in a Dugout?
I don’t think so.
But the most taboo topic of all was Jay Mariotti, the former Chicago Sun-Times columnist and ESPN personality who joined FanHouse in 2009 to write judgmental pieces about athletes who commit spousal abuse and beat the sh** out of his own girlfriend. I wanted to do a Dugout about Tony Reali awarding Jay points for convincingly dragging around his girlfriend by the hair, with Woody Paige getting all jealous and writing “beat wife” on his chalkboard. That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?
No. Uh uh. (sorry, Terence.)
The good news is that Jay won’t stop being a creep, and now I’m not working for the people who helped kill WCW so I can say whatever I want. Mariotti was in court on Wednesday and plead not guilty to three new felony charges: stalking, corporal injury on a spouse or domestic partner, and assault by means likely to produce great bodily injury. The Los Angeles Times said if he’s convicted, he’ll face up to five years in state prison. His lawyer says they are “complete fabrications.” Who to believe, who to believe.