We miss you, J-Cutty.

We’re going to get into this more in-depth tomorrow in the With Leather Fantasy Football Support Group, but it’s just remarkable to me how many high profile players were injured in the past two weeks. Tonight’s a perfect example, too, as both the Chicago Bears and San Francisco 49ers will face off on Monday Night Football without their starting quarterbacks. Obviously, that’s bad news for the Bears, as Jay Cutler had been just Dilferesque enough to support the Bears’ amazing defense.

But it might be good news for the 49ers. Nothing against the equally Dilferian Alex Smith, but I’m sure there are some fist-pumping San Fran fans out there. You don’t have to celebrate your QB’s injury, but it’s okay if you say something like, “Hey, at least we’re not stuck with Jason Campbell.”

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After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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Every NFL season, I reach a point of retrospect, when I look back at my fantasy drafts to determine which players I could have picked instead of who I actually picked. I know, it’s stupid because what the hell did I know then? I’m just glad that I grabbed Alfred Morris so I could ride him until Mike Shanahan trades for Kevin Smith and Ronnie Brown. But the one player that I’ve looked back on already was Jay Cutler, who I was convinced was going to be the premium backup option this year.

When I’m wrong, I’m really f*cking wrong.

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"What's up, babe? You acting? Sweet, babe."

In newsy news news, writers Joseph Balsamo and Peter Ciancarelli, who you may remember from… just this blog post, are suing FX because they claim that the network ripped off their idea with The League. Balsamo and Ciancarelli claim that they wrote a treatment for The Commissioner, and like The League, it was also about a group of friends who play fantasy football while behaving like men competing against each other naturally behave.

Make sure to properly secure your “Oh give me a f*cking break” faces for this one…

“Given the numerous and striking similarities between the two works, there can be no dispute that defendants Schaffer and/or FX had access to and copied protectable elements of the treatment,” the suit says. The suit then outlined 10 similarities between the two works. The plaintiffs filed Commissioner with the WGA back in 2006 and put the script online soon afterwards in an effort to attract attention. (Via Deadline)

“Ten Similarities Between The League and The Commissioner”? I must have missed that slideshow.

Now I’m no big city slicker fancy lawyer type, but as much as I love The League, it’s about as original as a knock-knock joke. Millions of bros and dudes play fantasy football, and we’re almost all in a league that features different types of guys who talk sh*t to each other, make side bets and generally piss each other off until they stop talking for months at a time or write each other absurd crybaby emails. We all do it, some of us *points to self* more than others.

But who cares about frivolous lawsuits by guys who had a stoner revelation moment of “Bro, we should make a TV show about a fantasy league”, when we have actual awesome news involving The League. Kristin Cavallari, AKA Mrs. Jay Cutler, filmed a guest spot for the show today.

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First the newsy part – with very little surprise, former reality TV star and current girl who had a son with Jay Cutler, Kristin Cavallari, has “opened her home” to People Magazine, which is a very pleasant way of saying that she sold the first photos of her son, Camden Jack, to the popular celebrity magazine. And there he is above… wait a second, is that baby smiling? Yo, someone get Maury Povich on line 1, because I think we have a serious paternity test issue here. The fact that this kid didn’t pop out of the womb with two middle fingers in the air already has me concerned enough.

And now the fun part. Yesterday, my cool cousin with a sleeveless letterman jacket, Christmas Ape, posted one of the greater J-Cutty stories that we’ve heard in quite some time, and I don’t care if it’s an urban legend or not, because it just has to be true. In fact, if you go back and watch the highlights of him throwing four interceptions against the Green Bay Packers, and imagine him yelling, “DOOOONNNNNN’T CAAAAAAAAARE” after each one, well, it’s amazing.

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Week 2 of the NFL season and we already have a Thursday night game. I’m not ready for this yet. I’m not ready for the stress of choosing which bench player to drop so I can pick up the Raiders defense so I don’t have to play the Bears against the Packers tonight. My bench is solid and I don’t want to drop Kendall Hunter or Santana Moss yet. I hate myself for choosing the Bears when I knew that I’d have to worry about Aaron Rodgers and the Packers. Twice.

Oh well, at least we have an NFL game and two college games tonight. That’s why I love America. Do you know what the contributor for the North Korea sports blog “With Olive Drab” is watching tonight? Probably just highlights of Kim Jong-Il waving to people. Let’s be thankful for what we have.

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