It’s not really surprising to hear Stephen A. Smith call LeBron James “nigga” in the middle of a rant about how LeBron has no heart. Sometimes he forgets he’s supposed to be a sports analyst and flips whatever switch turns him into Bruce Bruce and makes him think you have to say the same sentence five or six times in a row no matter who else is trying to talk. Here’s a clip courtesy of The Basketball Jones of Smith going full-”Denzel Washington yelling at Caucasian Protagonist” on ESPN’s The Skip Bayless Variety Hour:

I love that Skip’s out of context response is IS THERE A WIZARD. That’s pretty much Skip in a nutshell, isn’t it?

I think the two things we should get from this are 1) it’s not a big deal, because Smith was just being colloquial and speaking passionately … LeBron really does need to dig deep and start showing some heart, because he’s unarguably one of the most talented basketball players we’ve ever seen and he should have two or three championships already. Oh, and courtesy of Jimmy Traina, 2) “Anyone who watches that show should be put in a mental institution.”

And in case you’ve never seen it, this is pretty obviously what this clip reminded me of:

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Ah yes, the perfect storm for a sports blogger: an incredibly attractive female athlete paired with an ESPN personality made to look like a moron.

For some reason or another, Jay Crawford of ESPN’s First Take agreed to step in the batter’s box and face all-world softball player Jennie Finch. Of course, hilarity ensued.

He fouled off an early swing, whiffed on a bunt attempt and managed one infield grounder. Crawford claimed he would have beaten it out with his Usain Bolt speed. Finch scoffed at the suggestion — not sure if it was in regard to the Bolt speed or beating it out.

Crawford, who went to Bowling Green, supposedly pitched some minor league ball with an independent club in 2005. And he did take mighty cuts at the plate. In slow-pitch softball terms, it looks as if he could launch a bomb or two. In fast-pitch terms, there’s a huge hole in his swing. Or Jennie Finch is really good. via.

Hole in his swing? Huh. That hole will go well with the hole between his legs. By “hole between his legs,” I mean he has female genitalia. Get it?

Delightfully emasculating video follows. Read the rest of this entry »