NBA Round-Up: Yes. The Mavs. Did.

06.13.11 Written by Burnsy

At the end of Game 6 last night, Dirk Nowitzki and Chris Bosh were crying. For completely different reasons, obviously. Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks are the 2010-11 NBA Champions after defeating the Miami Heat 105-95 and winning the Finals series 4-2. Nowitzki was awarded the series MVP trophy and millions of Americans high-fived each other through Twitter while Heat fans mumbled something about us all being haters.

Meanwhile, LeBron James and his six toes scored 21 points to lead the Heat, but let’s be real – the self-anointed King vanished when it mattered, at least in comparison to Nowitzki. Ultimately, it seemed like the real intensity of Game 6 was coming from Dwyane Wade (who was fourth in scoring for the Heat, mind you), Mario Chalmers and Bosh, but this is not the time to criticize the Heat.

For it is the Mavericks’ time to celebrate their first ever NBA Championship with the class and dignity that Jason Kidd and his pimp slap are known for. It’s also a time for NBA fans to think about the future of the league as the lockout looms. But mostly, it’s time for us to be glad that Mark Jackson will no longer be announcing games and making comments like, “Jason Kidd’s DNA is all over this team’s title.” Gross, dude.

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Mavs Gameplan for Finals: Shoot All These Threes, Dunk On These Goals

05.26.11 Written by Brandon

Dorrough be maverick ballingThe Dallas Mavericks are going to the NBA Finals, so they’re going to need a rap song featuring basketball words. Thankfully, Dallas-based rapper Dorrough has stepped up, and although “Dallas Mavs (Bounce Dat)” is about as bad as music can get before its classified as garbage truck noises, I’m pretty happy that he didn’t just try to shoehorn “blue and other blue” into the “Black and Yellow” chorus. He’s got his Dallas Maverick hat on, and he’s in the skybox, and he’s yelling out DIRK! DIRK! DIRK!

Highlights of the song include the phrase “we keep the Twitter poppin’” (because “trending on Twitter” is the new “being rich and having sex with girls”), a surprisingly bitch-free rhyme for Stojakovic, and the idea that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade don’t matter because Dallas has “a bunch of names.” It’s also pretty funny that Dirk and Jason Terry get complimented, but Jason Kidd is simply identified as a “vet.” Yeah, that’s about right. The chorus begins with “we all on TV,” and all I can think is, “yeah, the Mavericks are, but what channel are you on, Dorrough?”

[H/T Pineriders]

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JASON KIDD DRAWS FOUL…ON A COACH?

03.02.10 Written by JOSH Z

JASON_KIDD_MIKE_WOODSON

Dallas Mavericks guard Jason Kidd drew a foul on Atlanta Hawks coach Mike Woodson, who for some reason had wandered onto the court to scream at his team before Kidd essentially drew a technical foul by touching the coach with his arm. That’s rather awesome, but then again Mike Woodson isn’t the most self-aware guy in the world; this is the same dude that misplaced his eyebrows. There’s no word on whether Kidd dished any assists to the towel boy or dunked on the peanut vendor, but it’s probably only a matter of time. Video’s after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

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JASON KIDD IS GENEROUS

08.25.08 Written by Matt

In a curious bit of generosity, Jason Kidd will give his Redeem Team gold medal to Elaine Wynn, wife of casino mogul Steve Wynn (pictures of her here).  

"It's not a (gambling) marker or anything like that," Kidd told The Arizona Republic. "She's just a great friend and a really great person… Last summer, we stayed at the Wynn for (what seemed like) a lifetime, close to three weeks," Kidd said. "We met at a banquet, we got to talking, and she really understands the game.

"I told her I'd make a deal with her, that if we won the gold medal, I'd give it to her. She thought I was kidding. But I told her I had one already, and the way they treated us at the Wynn, it was the least I could do."

Actually, the very least he could do would be hit her with a cookie or get her pregnant and dump her.  Certainly there's nothing strange about this at all.  Just a star athlete having a close personal friendship with a casino mogul's wife and giving her his priceless sports memorabilia.  Jeez, why are you people looking at him that way?

[Ball Don't Lie

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JASON KIDD DITCHED HIS SUPERMODEL

08.14.08 Written by Matt

According to a report from Page Six, the oldest and least useful member of Team USA, point guard Jason Kidd, has broken it off with supermodel girlfriend May Andersen (pictured here with Marisa Miller – rawr!).

It's over between model May Anderson and her Dallas Mavericks beau Jason Kidd… It seems Kidd was tired of reading about his woman's nights out. "Jason couldn't take her hard partying," said one source. "While he was training for the Olympics, she told him she was staying in, but then he would read in Page Six that she was out with celebrities like Lindsay Lohan." Our insider added, "It was too distracting, and he decided it better to focus on training and bringing home the gold for the US." Reps for Kidd had "no comment."

Whatever.  These people suck.  Kidd's had a nasty divorce, allegations of groping a woman in a NYC club, and ditched his previous girlfriend during her pregnancy.  Andersen dated Kid Rock and was arrested for air rage.  We should all breathe a collective sigh of relief that they're not going to join their DNA to make some kind of apocalyptic celebrity hellspawn.

[Sports by Brooks

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WHY DON’T MORE PEOPLE HATE JASON KIDD?

06.12.08 Written by Matt

Mavericks point guard and fading NBA star Jason Kidd got tired of his beautiful, unfamous model girlfriend Hope Dworaczyk (whom he reportedly impregnated) and is now dating beautiful, famous model May Andersen.  Why?  Presumably because her name is easier to spell.  And also because he's a dick.  From the New York Post:

Andersen, who was linked to Kid Rock, is now dating Dallas Maverick Jason Kidd. "They just spent the week in Palm Beach," said our source, "and are planning to go to Europe together."

You know, I was mistakenly led to believe that if you're a man who has a reputation for beating his wife and groping women's crotches in clubs, then it would actually be harder to date other women.  It must be really nice to be a famous basketball player.  A girl can be all, "I heard what you did to your wife, jerk!" and then you can be like, "Sure, I knocked her around a little… but watch this crossover!"

And then BAM!  Unprotected sex, baby.  Oh yeah.  "Sure, we can go to Europe.  It'll be a blast as long as you don't get all pregnant and fat."

[via Hot Clicks

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