The only upside to a Mayan apocalypse going down at some point today would be the end of whoever keeps making athletes sing sports-related Christmas carols because they’re sports guys and it’s Christmas.

Yesterday we shared with you the 12 Days Of MMA Christmas (“two black eyes!” etc.), and before that it was pro wrestlers singing WWE Jingle Bells. Somewhere in-between we watched the Houston Rockets and Dallas Mavericks sing holiday carols, but I guess that wasn’t explicitly basketball enough, so somebody got 4-pack of Santa hats and made Jason Kidd, James Harden, Blake Griffin and Chris Paul sing NBA-specific Jingle Bells.

It … might be worse than the one with wrestlers. Sample lyric:

Over the “D” he jumps, dunking all the way!

Here’s the commercial. While you’re watching it, I’ll be writing up this thing somebody just sent me of Psy and a bunch of locked-out NHL players singing a Gangnam Style remix of ‘O Come All Ye Faithful.’

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This is a great one, if only for Carmelo Anthony operating, then bogarting the spotlight.

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Nooooo! ‘How I Met Your Mother’ May Be Renewed For 9th Season |Warming Glow|

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"Congrats on that trophy, now get the heck out of my town."

Here’s an abridged version of the NBA offseason to date: The lockout changed nothing, owners didn’t learn, nor did they want to learn, because they’re still giving out awful contracts, and they just wanted to make sure they’d get more back from the league so they’d stop losing money. I think that pretty much sums it up, as the majority of teams’ decisions have been absolutely baffling to this point, including the situation of one Jeremy Shu-How Lin.

The decision could come today or it could be made on Wednesday, but either way, it appears that the New York Knicks are cutting ties with their out-of-nowhere phenom point guard, despite his incredible emergence last season and everything he instantly meant for Knicks fans. Oh, and there’s the matter of his marketability, too. But now it appears that the Knicks will not match the offer sheet that Lin signed with the Houston Rockets for 3-years, $25.1 million. The reason? It’s either because of the luxury tax or that Carmelo Anthony hates Lin. Regardless, Linsanity is probably goin’ to Texas, y’all.

Knicks fans are rightfully upset – and some realize it’s probably for the better – because Lin seemed like the positive alternative to the same old Knicks BS of superstar Anthony’s me-first attitude or signing Jason Kidd’s old balls – with a fresh DWI to add to the fun – so I called upon the greatest, most loyal Knicks fans that I know to tell us how they really feel. Take it away, exotic dancers of Rick’s Cabaret.

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At the end of Game 6 last night, Dirk Nowitzki and Chris Bosh were crying. For completely different reasons, obviously. Nowitzki and the Dallas Mavericks are the 2010-11 NBA Champions after defeating the Miami Heat 105-95 and winning the Finals series 4-2. Nowitzki was awarded the series MVP trophy and millions of Americans high-fived each other through Twitter while Heat fans mumbled something about us all being haters.

Meanwhile, LeBron James and his six toes scored 21 points to lead the Heat, but let’s be real – the self-anointed King vanished when it mattered, at least in comparison to Nowitzki. Ultimately, it seemed like the real intensity of Game 6 was coming from Dwyane Wade (who was fourth in scoring for the Heat, mind you), Mario Chalmers and Bosh, but this is not the time to criticize the Heat.

For it is the Mavericks’ time to celebrate their first ever NBA Championship with the class and dignity that Jason Kidd and his pimp slap are known for. It’s also a time for NBA fans to think about the future of the league as the lockout looms. But mostly, it’s time for us to be glad that Mark Jackson will no longer be announcing games and making comments like, “Jason Kidd’s DNA is all over this team’s title.” Gross, dude.

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The Dallas Mavericks are going to the NBA Finals, so they’re going to need a rap song featuring basketball words. Thankfully, Dallas-based rapper Dorrough has stepped up, and although “Dallas Mavs (Bounce Dat)” is about as bad as music can get before its classified as garbage truck noises, I’m pretty happy that he didn’t just try to shoehorn “blue and other blue” into the “Black and Yellow” chorus. He’s got his Dallas Maverick hat on, and he’s in the skybox, and he’s yelling out DIRK! DIRK! DIRK!

Highlights of the song include the phrase “we keep the Twitter poppin’” (because “trending on Twitter” is the new “being rich and having sex with girls”), a surprisingly bitch-free rhyme for Stojakovic, and the idea that LeBron James and Dwyane Wade don’t matter because Dallas has “a bunch of names.” It’s also pretty funny that Dirk and Jason Terry get complimented, but Jason Kidd is simply identified as a “vet.” Yeah, that’s about right. The chorus begins with “we all on TV,” and all I can think is, “yeah, the Mavericks are, but what channel are you on, Dorrough?”

[H/T Pineriders]

Dallas Mavericks guard Jason Kidd drew a foul on Atlanta Hawks coach Mike Woodson, who for some reason had wandered onto the court to scream at his team before Kidd essentially drew a technical foul by touching the coach with his arm. That’s rather awesome, but then again Mike Woodson isn’t the most self-aware guy in the world; this is the same dude that misplaced his eyebrows. There’s no word on whether Kidd dished any assists to the towel boy or dunked on the peanut vendor, but it’s probably only a matter of time. Video’s after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »