After a brief hiatus, the Sports On TV column returns with one of the most requested shows ever: Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s 16-season strong cultural landmark, ‘South Park’.

‘South Park’ has been around since 1997, and has changed along with the times. When it started, Parker and Stone were getting $1,200 to make video Christmas cards for Fox executives. In 2012, they are influential, Tony Award-winning, multi-millionaire media moguls. One thing hasn’t changed: in season one, Kenny was getting ripped apart by football players. In season 16, Tom Brady is guzzling a Gatorade bottle of a child’s semen. Sports are one of the weirdest, stupidest, most ritualistic and overly-glorififed things human beings can do, and ‘South Park’ has been in tune with that since the very beginning.

So, in the Interest of easing us back into regular Thursday columns, here are my choices for the 20 greatest South Park sports moments. Like a lot of the shows we do, there are a ton of moments we had to leave out, so a part 2 will probably happen. If we left out your favorite moment, or you have something to say about a moment we chose, be sure to drop down into our comments section and let us know.

As an added bonus, participating in the discussion and sharing the column on Twitter or Facebook (courtesy of one of those handy buttons at the bottom of the post) will net you the BAT DAD BADGE. You don’t want the Bat Dad Badge? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.

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Current Oakland A and former New York Yankee Jason Giambi told the San Francisco Chronicle that his post-retirement plans could involve “Maybe [being a] bouncer at a strip joint. That’s about all I’m qualified to do.” It appears that Giambi will have at least one taker:

Rick’s Cabaret New York (50 W 33 Street) wants Giambi to know that they will employ him as soon he is ready. “The Rick’s Girls love Jason,” said Rick’s Cabaret spokesperson Lonnie Hanover. “They would be glad to work with him.”

“He may think that he is only qualified to be a bouncer, but we think that he would make a good VIP host,” Hanover explained. “Rick’s is well known as the gentlemen’s club of choice for celebrities and sports stars, and Jason would often see a lot of his old teammates.”

It’s great to have options after retirement. Especially when those options involves scantily-clad women in poorly-lit rooms with overpriced beverages. But I don’t want Jason Giambi anywhere near my erection. There’s a reason that Al Gore invented porn: so we’d have something to find on Google Image Search on those lonely nights. That was Gore, right? Or was it Al Green? I get those two mixed up all the time.

Thanks to a shift that placed Orioles second baseman Brian Roberts well out of the infield, Jason Giambi grounded out to right field last night.  In his next at-bat, Giambi somehow dropped a hit between Roberts and the right fielder, then made a gesture to let Roberts know that he's #1.

Not bad, Jason.  The judges also would have accepted "I GOT YOUR SHIFT RIGHT HERE!" provided you had grabbed your crotch in a matching rhythm with the final two syllables.  That's my preferred gesture.  Everyone agrees: I'm really good at grabbing my crotch.

[Video: Mr. Irrelevant; Still image: Sportscrack] 

Yankees slugger Jason Giambi is having a good time in Las Vegas, where he's finding new and inventive ways around the city's massive cup and glass shortage.  The whole city is out of reasonably-sized liquid containers that fit easily into an adult's hand!  Call the National Guard — Vegas needs an emergency shipment of rocks glasses!

Honestly, I'm disappointed in these photos.  This is shameful partying, and I expect better from Giambi.  You can't really expect me to believe that he couldn't find some stripper who would let him pour the Jack on her boobs and then drink it off of them.

Those last place New York Yankees are turning to the storied tradition of nutty baseball superstitions to right the ship in what's looking like an ever more moribund season. Rummaging through his armoir filled with needles anddead strippers, Jason Giambi found just the answer: gold thongs for all. Okay, gold thongs for one, but it can be a communal thing. Less gay that way.

The Yankee slugger revealed Friday he slips on a gold lamé thong with a flame-line waistband when he's trying to get out of a hitting slump – and he's shared it with his teammates.

Posada added that "a lot of players have worn it," but he didn't name names. Asked if the thong got washed between wearings, he gave a cringe-worthy answer. "Ask Jason," said Posada. "Jason is a little strange."

Actually, Giambi does wash them, which strikes an odd note with Posada. You too good for his treadmarks, Giambino?  

The Yankees also dropped the two games that didn't get rained out over the weekend to the Mets, so the thong might have lost its magic. Only one way to be sure: Yukon Cornelius needs a quick lick. He'll suss out some fake gold in a snap. 

Yesterday, after a reader made a fun little twist on the ridiculous Joey Porter "Prevent Crime" billboard, I put out a call for other PSA billboards you'd like to see.  Some of the intrepid readers tried their hand at Photoshop, others brainstormed in the comments.  So feel free to take credit for these, but let's be honest: With Leather's Photoshoppeur 289 did the real legwork here.  For once.

Anyway, here are the results in one big bukkake blast, because I'll be retiring this gag immediately.  The last thing I want to do is get backlash from running a billboard gag into the ground.  Not when I've got stripper jokes and dead hooker jokes to re-use.