According to his wedding website, free agent quarterback Jason Campbell was quite excited to marry his longtime, on-again/off-again girlfriend, Jenny Montes, at the Paradisus Palma Real in the Dominican Republic. Campbell’s massive wedding party included other NFL players like Ronnie Brown, Carlos Rogers, Jacoby Ford and Louis Murphy. Somewhere, Cadillac Williams shed a single tear.

But apparently it all fell apart during the day leading up to the Super Bowl of Campbell’s heart. Reports are mostly vague as to why the couple called it off, so I chose to go with the most ridiculous source I could find, from a site that watermarked the NFL logo.

Take it away, Media Take Out:

Jason’s fiance Jenny is a beautiful woman, and an MTOer. She had been pursued by TONS of ballers, but she chose to date Jason, when he was a rookie and his NFL career was uncertain.

The two met and started dating 5 years ago, and after a long separation found each other again. Jenny and her family were excited to fly down to the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC, to celebrate their nuptials. But that was not to be, Jason INEXPLICABLE BROKE IT OFF just hours before the ceremony was set to begin, stunning guests.

How hard is it to create a sensationalized gossip story that doesn’t have Swiss cheese logic? First of all, the two met and started dating in 2005, but if the wedding was in the Dominican Republic on Saturday, why wasn’t the family already there? Probably because they mutually called off the wedding on Friday and he definitely did not stand her up at the altar, according to CNN’s Kate Longworth.

But I like to think that Campbell and Brown decided to run away together. Unfortunately, they only made it 2 yards.

If somebody tried to pull off this trade in a fantasy league, the other team owners would veto it so hard. The Oakland Raiders and the Cincinnati Bengals are close to a deal that would send Carson Palmer to Oakland for a first round pick in 2012 and a conditional pick in 2013.

It makes a lot of sense. Jason Campbell broke his collarbone and Andy Dalton has been better than Cam Newton, whether you’ve noticed it or not. Cincinnati is giving a new starting QB to a team it could be competing against for a playoff spot or in the postseason. The Raiders are giving up two high picks for a guy who’s been holding out, hasn’t been great for a while and has an arm that can go from John Elway to Steve Urkel in a heartbeat. ESPN notes that “both sides believed it to be a gamble worth taking”, which is funny, because I was hoping they’d made the trade ironically.

Palmer was willing to restructure his contract, which would pay him $6.9 million for the balance of this season, sources said. The Raiders have about $6 million left under the cap.

The next step for the Bengals should be for owner Mike Brown to hire a General Manager to make the picks for him. The next step for the Raiders should be printing up a few black and silver “quitter” jerseys. You know, just in case.

Yeah, that’s more or less my reaction, too.

New York City policeman turned NFL reporter for the Houston Chronicle John McClain reports that the injury that caused Houston Texans linebacker Mario Williams to leave Sunday’s game against the Oakland Raiders is a torn pectoral muscle that will require surgery and keep him out of action for the remainder of the 2011 season. The torn muscle happened while Williams was sacking Oakland QB Jason Campbell, and almost every report says Williams walked to the locker room under his own power like the pectoral muscle is in his leg.

The Texans are suffering an almost San Francisco Giants-like string of injuries to star players like Andre Johnson and Arian Foster this season, one Sports Illustrated attempts to put into context:

Big picture, the significant injury to Williams could change the landscape of an already-reeling AFC South. The Colts (0-5) and the Jaguars (1-4) have fallen off the pace to start the season, with Houston and Tennessee tied at 3-2. However, with Peyton Manning on the shelf, this looked like by far the Texans’ best opportunity to claim a division title and their first-ever playoff berth.

That’s a depressing blurb, isn’t it? “This looked like …” The silver lining here, depending on how you look at it, is that the Texans drafted University of Arizona Wildcat Brooks Reed and get to remove his training wheels and ride him around the NFL. McClaine chimes in, via Twitter:

Like Mario, Reed is learning a new position: 3-4 OLB who drops down in passing situations. Texans look smart drafting Reed.

Hopefully next Monday’s day of posting won’t include a big “BROOKS REED INJURED BY RAVENS, OUT FOREVER WITH SEVERED LOWER BODY”.

Ever tool around Lamebook and see those people that change their relationships statuses on Facebook only to have the person they just broke up with comment a surprised, “WTF” like they didn’t even know? Oh, just me. Well, that’s embarrassing.

Anyway, the Washington Redskins did something similar to Jason Campbell, their starting quarterback since 2006, when they decided to trade for Donovan McNabb on Sunday. Instead of consulting the guy that was in charge of their offense, the team made the trade and, well, didn’t say anything to Campbell.

That was left to a Washington Examiner reporter named John Keim. I’m pretty sure the only way this could have been more embarrassing for Campbell is if Donovan got those guys that burned stuff in his yard to gasoline the news to Jason.

Me: Did you hear about what happened?

Jason: What?

Me: The Redskins traded for Donovan.

Jason: Really? Ummm … I didn’t know that, man.

Me: I’m sorry I had to be the one who told you. I can’t believe they didn’t tell you.

Jason: No, that’s the first I heard of it. … I’d better go call my agent.

When I called back later, it went to voice mail. His mailbox was full.

I’d have to suspect this is the first step in getting Campbell out of town, who never was great for the Redskins but wasn’t terrible either. Just last year, Campbell had a higher completion percentage than McNabb and nearly similar passer ratings, and Jason’s team didn’t come with a DeSean Jackson.

That said, if there is a way to be a selfish prick that everyone hates, Dan Snyder is going to find it.

Redskins tight end Chris Cooley asked his readers to come up with original inquiries for quarterback Jason Campbell, and they certainly didn't disappoint.  A selection from the "Ask a Redskin" Q&A:

Q: Jason, have you ever smelled the back of your left hand (the one that's securely lodged under the center's sweaty butt crack the entire game) after a game? I would imagine that hand would have to go through a thorough decontamination process after every game and practice.
A: For everyone to know if you don’t take a bath your butt crack stinks and I think that's what Rabach does to me. Imagine sweating for 2 hours and you're Casey Rabach and you're really hairy and stinky. Rabach has even farted on my hand which is a feelin that never really wears off. I can actually feel it while we’re doing this interview right now. After each practice and game the first thing I do is wash my hands of all that chaotic stuff running off his sweaty, nasty body.

Notice that Campbell never actually answers the question.  The indirect response is a sure sign that he's a man who's been tempted — and burned — by curiosity.  And it certainly explains why Campbell spends so much time outside the pocket — he's probably searching for fresh air.

[FanIQ] 

Well, I've looked all over the damn Internet, and nothing's going on today.  And if you think I'm writing some filler post about Wimbledon starting, think again.  So here's something from D.C. Sports Bog — a video of Redskins receivers Santana Moss and Antwaan Randle El making fun of QB Jason Campbell for being country.  It's about as good as it gets today.

Not pictured, at church: Mark Brunell.