Welp, now I know what I want for Christmas. A remote controlled car that is also a F**KING TRANSFORMER FOR REAL? When I was five, this is what I imagined future kids would play with. I’d say “take my money” if I thought I had enough to cover it. (via The Daily What)

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Links

15 Badass Aldo Raine GIFs To Remind You That Brad Pitt Is Pretty Good At Playing A Badass |UPROXX|

Aaron Paul Is Really Excited About The Final Season Of ‘Breaking Bad’ |Warming Glow|

A Brilliant Letter from Bruce Lee in Honor of His Birthday |Film Drunk|

Meet Con Bro Chill, Lacrosse’s ‘Personality Of The Year’ And The King Of All Bros |With Leather|

Don Cheadle Returns As A Psychotic Captain Planet, And Trees Are Still His Jam |Gamma Squad|

Built For The Streets: 10 Classic Black And White Videos From The ’90s |Smoking Section|

Some Cowboys Fans Want Obama To Forcibly Remove Jerry Jones |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Francesco Totti is the captain of Serie A football club Roma, and he’s a pretty popular guy. Don’t believe me? Watch this video of a weird lady showing up at a train station to meet him, and accomplishing it by just wandering around and yelling TOTTI, TOTTI, TOTTI, TOTTI, TOTTI at everyone she sees. For 2 1/2 minutes. TOTTI!

There’s an off chance that the lady, described pretty accurately by a YouTube commenter as “a cross between Sailor Moon and Groucho Marx,” is just a Borat character played by an Italian woman who found a Japanese school girl uniform at a Halloween store. She’s got a camera crew with her, and with the language/soccer barrier happening she could be anything. She could be Pele in a wig, how the f**k am I supposed to know? But much like how I’m continuing to share exceptional high school football clips despite 70% of them being undercover AT&T commercials, I hope that there is still room for legitimately weird, random people to show up at train stations and mark the hell out for soccer guys.

For more on this story, please consult Totti’s face:

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Welcome to the most 1990s thing that ever existed.

For anyone who doesn’t know, ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ was a live-action television series about teenagers who come together to use recycled Japanese action show footage to sell toys to American kids. It first aired on Fox Kids in 1993 and is still on, jumping from Fox to ABC to Toon Disney to Nickelodeon, changing its name and cast as many times as it needed to remain fresh. The most recent incarnation is ‘Power Rangers Super Samurai,’ but they’ve been Turbo, Zeo, in Space, in a Lost Galaxy and affixed with everything from time travel to dinosaurs and something called ‘jungle fury’.

Today, Sports On TV tackles the show that brought the Power Rangers to the dance — the first three seasons of ‘Mighty Morphin’ — featuring the original cast (mostly), the original bad guys and all the horrible dubbed-in dialogue and grainy footage that made the franchise a 20-year success. Yeah, I can’t figure it out either.

For your morphenomenal pleasures, I present to you my picks for the 20 greatest sports moments in ‘Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ history.

As an added bonus, you can MAKE YOUR MONSTER GROWWWW and unlock the Rita Repulsa badge by sharing Sports On TV: Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers’ 20 Greatest Sports Moments on Facebook and Twitter. All you have to do is click the handy-dandy share buttons at the bottom of the post, and the badge is yours. What better way to say “I know a lady who spent 10,000 years on the moon”?

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During the 2012 Summer Olympics, it was reported that security at the London venues was instructed to crack down on any people who tried to attend events while wearing recognizable logos of companies that weren’t exclusive sponsors. That was a very nice way of saying that McDonald’s owned the fry monopoly and Coke wanted to kick out anyone wearing Pepsi logos, which would have sucked for me because my whole wardrobe is nothing but Mountain Dew shirts.

This was a little unfair to the average Joe, Boris or Ming cheering on their countries, because as some surveys showed, nobody knew which companies were even sponsoring the Olympics. In fact, 37% of the 1,034 people who took part in an online survey believed that Nike was a sponsor, when it fact it wasn’t – Nike does, however, sponsor Team USA and other countries so it didn’t matter – and this just basically proved what we already knew – Nike is really awesome at marketing.

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I’d add 27-year old Japanese sprinter Maya Nakanishi to our list of Olympic athletes to watch, but she deserves on a list of her own. Firstly, Nakanishi is Paralympic athlete and is missing the lower half of her right leg. Secondly, she’s bankrolling a new prosthetic and a trip to this year’s London Paralympic Games by stripping down for a nude photo calendar. It’s beautiful, and a lot like that episode of ‘Saved By The Bell’ where Zack photographs the swim team to pimp the school store.

Via Mid-Day.com:

The calendar, with pictures taken by professional photographer Takao Ochi, shows an unclothed Nakanishi striking tasteful poses that ensure just enough of her body is covered.

Nakanishi said on her official blog she hoped people would enjoy the calendar.

“I don’t regret having become nude. I’m very happy that I was able to show Maya Nakanishi as I am.”

You should never regret having become nude.

To see if you’re very happy that she was able to show Maya Nakanishi as she is, click through and check out the pictures. I think it’s great. I also want to see her spin-kick people.

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I’m just slumming it on the sports blog until they make me full-time over at Gamma Squad, so I’m excited to announce that NASCAR beauty Danica Patrick will be appearing alongside Sonic the Hedgehog in the upcoming multi-platform kart racer Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed. Wait, no I’m not, I think it’s the stupidest f**king news I’ve ever heard.

But no, seriously, Danica will be a playable character in a game where a hedgehog who can run super fast decides to race people in a car (?) that turns into a boat and then into an airplane. You know, instead of running. She’ll appear alongside such luminaries as Amigo the Maracas Monkey, the taxi driver from Crazy Taxi and “Gilius Thunderhead”, which I’m guessing was Danica’s name before she became a driver.

Quick, try to decide which of these statements was most written by a public relations team!

“It’s a very exciting experience since I’ll be sharing the screen with such an iconic character,” said Danica Patrick. “I cannot wait for gamers to jump into my customized, transformable vehicles and give Sonic a run for his rings this holiday season!”

“Danica Patrick is one of the most popular athletes in the world and her accomplishments both on and off the track make her the perfect partner for Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed,” said Masanao Maeda, President and COO, SEGA of America.

I can’t decide which is harder to believe, the fact that the Japanese COO of SEGA thought “that lady racecar driver people know” would be perfect for his monkeys in hovercrafts garbageware game or that Danica Patrick said the phrase “jump into my customized, transformable vehicles and give Sonic a run for his rings this holiday season” in real life. The full picture of Danica on the Sonic stock car she’ll be driving during the O’Reilly Auto Parts Challenge on November 3 at the Texas Motor Speedway is below, because video games!

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