Just when you thought the career of JaMarcus Russell couldn’t get much worse, he gets arrested in Alabama for codeine possession without a prescription. Codeine is used for the production of “purple drank,” or “sizzurp,” but anyone who has ever head a Lil Wayne song could have told you that.

The former Oakland Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell, chosen No. 1 over all in the 2007 N.F.L. draft, was arrested in Mobile, Ala., and charged with possession of codeine syrup, a controlled substance, without a prescription. A sheriff’s spokeswoman said Russell, 24, was arrested at his home during an undercover investigation. He was booked into the Mobile jail and released on $2,500 bond. –NYTimes

JaMarcus could have just rode his NFL career out into the sunset, but now, unfortunately for him, he’s approaching the Ryan Leaf precedent of awful. That’s fine with me, because it means we get more Gabourey Sidney photoshops, and man does she look good in that jersey!

Russell had received interest from the Jets after he was cut from the Raiders this off-season, but the Jets have decided to give that money to charity. Whether or not the arrest will put his contract with the Omaha Nighthawks in jeopardy is yet to be determined. What can be determined is that JaMarcus will continue to be a source of comedy for years to come. A metaphor for Russell’s career after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

The Fourth of July is quickly approaching, and what better way to celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence than gratuitous gluttony? For years, the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, held on the Fourth of July, has been as American as baseball football, grilled meat, and grain alcohol. Japanese eating sensation, Takeru Kobayashi, is as American as Hello Kitty panty vending machines unbridled capitalism, as he has recently declared that he will sit out Nathan’s this year. The cause? Contract disputes with Major League Eating. Ironically, he’s asking for a bigger food stipend when on the road. In other news, people are still starving to death daily in Africa.

Kobayashi, perhaps the most recognizable figure in the world of competitive eating, is currently is ranked No. 3 in the world by Major League Eating, the organization that oversees the Nathan’s Famous event and dozens of other contests around the globe. Attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.

Is the slender 32-year-old from Japan too full to compete? Has he suffered another jaw injury? Nope. It’s a contractual dispute between him and MLE, according to the league.

Pro eaters sign contracts agreeing that they’ll participate in only MLE-sanctioned events; these contracts don’t guarantee pay for eaters, who instead earn money from league-approved endorsements and prize earnings. Richard Shea, the organization’s president, issued a statement Monday indicating that negotiations with the 160-pound pro eater had reached an impasse, but offered no other details. –WSJ

Kobayashi is ranked third in the world by Major League Eating, and I have no Idea who numbers 1 and 2 are (/searches Google). So they’re Joey Chestnut and Bob Shoudt, and much to my dismay, there’s not a big, fat guy to be found in their top 50. Christ, with so many people who are morbidly obease, you think we could get some bigger people to actually eat in competitions. Why are there skinny Asian women in a hot dog eating contest? They need to give JaMarcus Russell a call. Highlights of last year’s contest after the jump. They’re in HD, which is good, because now you can see the failure in their eyes. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s been a little over a month since JaMarcus Russell was cut from the Oakland Raiders, and after getting passed on by the NFL, the big man is rumored to be taking his talents to the Omaha Nighthawks of the UFL. JaMarcus would be the second quarterback drafted in the first round to join the league, a trail blazed by the sex boat captain himself, Daunte Culpepper. A who’s who of fat quarterbacks, indeed. UFL scouts are looking for Jared Lorenzen, he shouldn’t be hard to find.

A source with knowledge of the situation tells us that the expansion Omaha Nighthawks could be signing Russell, who would team up with running back Ahman Green in the team’s backfield. –PFT

He’s being looked at by an expansion UFL team? That means the UFL is expanding, which is confusing on so many levels. Who’s going to UFL games? Apparently, the citizens of San Antonio and Omaha clamoring for a UFL franchise. They were so inspired by the play of Brooks Bollinger.

Omaha fans should be excited about a Russell-Green backfield, but they’re missing an Antwaan Randel-El type piece to make their offense suck. Never mind, they want to sign Eric Crouch. I tried to think of a reason they’d want Eric Crouch, but my brain almost exploded. If they’re looking for washed up Heisman winners to sign, I’m pretty sure Ron Dayne and Chris Weinke are looking for work, too.

Former No. 1 draft pick and current fatass JaMarcus Russell has the entire world on which to graze now. The quarterback was just released by the Oakland Raiders. I guess he wasn’t interested in playing nose tackle.

The decision comes less than two weeks after Oakland acquired Jason Campbell from Washington to take over at quarterback.

Russell will now likely be considered the biggest draft bust in NFL history. He will have been paid more than $39 million by the Raiders, while producing only seven wins as a starter. –the monolith.

Dollar-for-dollar, yeah, nobody can touch JaMarcus. However, and I’ve said this before, he might have also been the worst No. 1 overall in NFL history. Worse than Tim Couch? Clearly. Worse than Tony Mandarich? I would make that argument, especially since Mandarich at least had some semblance of a college career. Russell started for, what, one year? At least Russell will have some time to put things in perspective, at least until the Bengals sign him next week.

Oakland Raiders fatty JaMarcus Russell looks like he’ll be heading out the door, and not to the buffet, even though that sounds really good right now. I wonder if Al Davis takes him to the buffet and tries to pass him off as a ten-year-old, because my dad totally did that. But no, seriously, his ass is getting canned.

Reports indicated the Raiders have already set up Russell’s release and only need the confirmation of owner Al Davis to finalize the matter.

Russell, 1st overall pick in 2007 NFL entry draft, is expected to receive $9.45 million ($3 million in guaranteed money) for 2010.

The Raiders laid the groundwork to dispatch Russell after they dealt their 2012 fourth round draft pick to the Washington Redskins for quarterback Jason Campbell Saturday. –All Headline News.

JaSuckus might have earned the easiest $39 million ever. Some people will point to this as Exhibit A for rookie salary caps. Well, (a) rookie salaries are already constrained by NFL rules, and (b) even when he was drafted, he was a horrible No. 1 pick. So why should the Raiders have to spend all that money on him? Because they were terrible the year before and it’s fair that they pay a premium for choosing off the top of the pile. JaMarcus had one good year at LSU, which apparently was enough to be the biggest NFL bust not named Ryan Leaf.

Raiders quarterback JaMarcus Russell does his job much like you do yours–he’s easily distracted, eats too much, and has terrific taste in online sports literature. Yeah, I’m sure that JaMarcus reads With Leather. It’s like Ebony for fat people. Anyway…

According to a league source with knowledge of the situation in Oakland, the hefty quarterback has beefed up to 300 pounds.

We’re also told that the former LSU star isn’t getting good advice from his family.

“It’s a drag on the kid and they encourage his poor lifestyle,” an NFL source told National Football Post.

Russell was the No. 1 overall pick by the Raiders in 2007, and to call him a bust seems generous. One can only expect him to get even fatter when he sits on the bench behind Jason Campbell this fall. I saw a fat guy get on an airplane once, and I felt really bad for him trying to squeeze into one of these tiny window seats. At least…I did until the plane took off and could only fly around in circles. No mini-pretzels for you, sir.