"Why, because I'm black?"

As has become customary in this YouTube era, companies no longer wait for the Super Bowl to actually air their Super Bowl ads, which is why any outrage from PornHub’s executives would be about as real as a Faye Reagan orgasm. At the very least, many companies have started leaking “teaser ads” – which is wholly absurd – like Mercedes’ Kate Upton car wash ad or Volkswagen’s Star Wars dogs, but most companies have just said, “F*ck it, here’s the whole commercial” because they love when bros like me write about them.

Speaking of Volkswagen, the German car company’s Super Bowl 47 ad hit the cat tubes earlier this week and it already has more than 3 million views on YouTube. Of course, it’s not because the commercial is any good – it’s okay, I guess – it’s because people think that white people doing Jamaican voices is racist.

Gee, I wonder if Volkswagen’s ad team saw all of this attention coming when they filmed this commercial.

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With more than 11,000 views since being posted yesterday, “Whistle Girl (Every Day I’m Whistling)” is well on its way for being a contender for its own “This Week In YouTube Commenter Outrage” post, but it still has a ways to go with less than 20 comments. But hey, at least one of those comments is racist, and… I’m getting ahead of myself.

Focusing on the video at hand, “Whistle Girl” is the latest effort by Tunguska Yacht Club, which has previously entertained thousands of people with “Stanky Dick: Official Music Video” and the GoPro Commercial for Regular People. The video “stars” Jamaica’s Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, who defended her 100m gold medal at the 2012 Summer Olympics, and today I also learned that her nickname is “Pocket Rocket”. That’s… nice.

I hate that I laughed at this, but sometimes the simple things are the best.

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A new world record for the 100-yard (If they have the metric system in Jamaica, then why do they sell a certain exported cash crop in ounces?) 100-meter dash was set today:

Asafa Powell bettered his own world record in the 100 meters Sunday, running 9.74 seconds at the Rieti Grand Prix. The Jamaican set the mark during one of the two heats to reach the 100 final. Powell, who has run 9.77 three times, finished third in the 100 last month at the track and field world championships in Osaka, Japan.