My evening unfolded almost exactly as I predicted last night, from the bunny playing piano to the cat tipping his hat, but how I handled that much LSD in one night is still a mystery to me. Regardless, our brackets are filled out and the games are about to begin, so I figured we could run down today’s schedule with the help of the wonderful ladies at Playboy, who, when not being shunned from society by Darren Rovell, are actually quite the NCAA Tournament experts in their own rights.

Okay, maybe I’m using the term “experts” a little loosely, but I’m still pretty impressed that these women could take the time out of their busy schedules of ignoring me to compete against each other in the 2013 Playboy Bracket Challenge. Fans and bros were able to fill out their brackets on the (obviously not-necessarily-SFW website) and compete against some of their favorite Playmates, including Kari Nautique, Nikki Leigh, the wonderful Chloe Miranda, and recent mom Jaime Edmondson, among others.

The biggest missing piece, though, is Ciara Price, but I think the restraining order may just completely block her from my computer. Haha, she’s such a kidder. Anyway, today’s remaining schedule is after the jump, as well as some special Playboy NCAA Tournament cards featuring Nikki Leigh, and serve no purpose other than to make me like Ohio State and Florida for once.

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Ugh, look away! They're heinous!

Back when I was the editor of my student newspaper in college, I drew the ire and attention of the local chapter of the National Organization of Women after I wrote a harmless entertainment editorial about how the James Bond franchise should be celebrated for creating empowering characters in the Bond girls. Of course, the male president of this NOW chapter (*rolls eyes*) argued that Bond girls were objectified sluts, but it taught me an important lesson that if you take a stance regarding women and their looks, you’re going to piss people off.

And the point of this edition of “Cool Story, Bro” is that nobody ever taught CNBC reporter Darren Rovell that lesson, because on Saturday night, the self-proclaimed “Twitter police” had the balls to Tweet the following from the Playboy Super Bowl party:

Obviously, if you’re familiar with Rovell’s work, he likes to play with numbers, throw around statistics about money and impose his will on anyone who listens. He needs us all to know that he’s in charge and we’re just the pooper scoopers of his Twitter elephant. There isn’t really a big problem with that Tweet, as there just weren’t enough ladies for his liking, so he vented a little. Then he vented a lot.

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