Sports

Albert Pujols Injured, Out 4-6 Weeks - Still injured. See how important this news is? Even the rap music and urban culture section of Uproxx is covering it. Nothing more urban than mid-June NL Central baseball, I guess! P.S., Albert will be out 4-6 weeks due to an injury. [Smoking Section]

The Best and Worst of WWE Capitol Punishment - I’m going to struggle through a Best and Worst of Made Up On the Spot Raw today, but while I’m struggling, go back and read about Capitol Punishment. Something sorta happened, kinda! [With Leather]

Why Soccer Sucks - I am a burgeoning soccer fan, so I’m presenting this article as the last ten years of talking points I’m trying to get over. I’m over most of them. “Mascots and cool shirts called ‘kits’” was enough to get me over most of them. [Sports Biotch]

Emo Tiki Speaks Out - Thank goodness the Brady Bunch never came across an Emo Tiki. Instead of wiping out, Greg would’ve just sat on his surfboard and cried about Jennifer Nichols. Yeah, I should give up sports and just write a Brady Bunch blog. [KSK]

Not Sports

Katrina Bowden is Such a Nerd - This isn’t as funny as it wants to be (because “hot girl is a nerd” isn’t really a compelling thing when you’ve grown up) but I’m posting it because I absolutely agree with fake her about Studio Ghibli. Only Yesterday is so much better than Spirited Away, even if the protagonist doesn’t rub off any river gods. [Gamma Squad]

25 of the Worst Celebrity Tweets of All Time - I must be simple, because Goldie Hawn’s tweet on this list made me laugh out loud. I still haven’t gotten comfortable mentioning every aspect of my life on Twitter (follow me @MrBrandonStroud, nudge nudge), especially not how much I want to eat Subway. [Uproxx]

First Ever Picture of Tom Cruise Acting Flamboyant - I remember thinking Tom Cruise was the coolest guy when I was younger. Of course, I don’t specifically remember thinking that, I just watched a sh*tload of Top Gun. Here he is being the opposite of Top Gun! [Film Drunk]

G4 Pulls Ryan Dunn’s Reality Show - Rest in peace, guy who drunk drove his Porsche into some trees. I miss G4 being about video games, even if the only things I ever watched were “Starcade” and Morgan Webb’s parts of X-Play. [Warming Glow]

Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown is the overwhelming favorite in The Preakness tomorrow, but horses are stupid and only good for gambling on. You know what else you can gamble on?  People being drunken jackasses in the infield.

For those who weren't around to see this in 2007, above is the video taken by D.C. Sports Bog at last year's Preakness (Agent Steinz will go back again this year), and it has interviews with countless Marylanders in fine form, including the guy at the world-famous horse race who proclaims that "This is what Maryland does best — football and crabcakes."  Huh.  And here I was, thinking it was lacrosse and DUIs.

After the jump, an even specialer treat: infield revelers attempting "port-a-john racing."  That's when people attempt to run across the top of a line of port-a-johns, and everyone else in the crowd throws full beer cans at them.  (Um, obviously.)  It's great training for any Baltimore fans planning an away trip to Philly.

Previously on WL:
DRUNK PEOPLE ATTENDED THE PREAKNESS
PORT-A-JOHN RACING AT THE PREAKNESS

Note: Also check out Busted Coverage for more photos of drunk jackassery.