Honestly, finding out that Shaquille O’Neal plays “Police Officer” in Grown Ups 2 is as much as you should ever learn about Grown Ups 2. In a perfect world, you’re saying, “Grown Ups 2? I never saw Grown-Ups 1!” Yes, in a perfect world you call Grown Ups “Grown Ups 1.”

Anyway, descending quality of comedy magnate Adam Sandler went on Conan to discuss the underlying themes of Grown Ups 2 — spoiler alert: nutshots —
and told a thorough story about playing basketball with Shaq, then trying to see his penis. It’s a totally reasonable thing, I guess, and the story is pretty spectacular. I’m only disappointed that Shaq didn’t make Sandler do the Mer-Man cry while he looked at it.

Here’s the clip:

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I took a couple weeks off from doing these here ROFLMNBAO posts for two reasons: 1) because the last two weeks of the season were soooooo boring and B) I forgot. But I figured what better time than now to resume posting these NBA meme pictures since the news that they’re so in demand. Form a line to the left, attractive girls who want to give me money to create ridiculously corny-sounding sites!

Also, I figured it was a better time than any for this week’s installment with the playoffs in full swing and individual awards being presented by the league. As we already know, Tyson Chandler is the Defensive Player of the Year, Jason Kidd received the Sportsmanship Award and Gregg Popovich is the Coach of the Year. “What about the other awards?” you ask while peeling apart the pages of my vintage Hustler collection. The NBA is taking its sweet ass time with those, so I’m issuing my own awards.

A lot happened in this condensed season, so it’s only fair that we recognize everyone for their efforts.

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With the NBA trade deadline just 7 days away, all of the media’s focus is on the big market teams and their needs, which begs the question – which chump teams are gonna get fleeced? The quick answer: probably none. The Orlando Magic currently have the 5th best record in the entire league, which absolutely baffles me after watching them stand still and take it hard against the 4-win Charlotte Bobcats the other night, but then that’s how the wonderful world of sports works. So they’re most likely not trading Dwight Howard, and every other team is stuck waiting to see what happens with that to make their own moves. Classic log jam, folks.

Common sense says that Orlando won’t get a Denver Nuggets-type haul at the deadline, so that means the Magic instead want to move some of their crap for another team’s lesser crap. Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers sure could use some help, as could pretty much any team that isn’t the Chicago Bulls, Oklahoma City Thunder, San Antonio Spurs or Miami Heat. Face it, your team is pretty much screwed.

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