Today in the ongoing Vince Young saga, everything is totally fine. Nothing to report. He’s going to miss 2-4 weeks with that little knee sprain, but mentally he’s stronger than ever.
Tennessee fans adore him. Opposing fans can’t help but be impressed by his broad shoulders and confident leadership style. A driven, goal-oriented man this strong is sure to become one of the all-time greats. No one can doubt this and retain their credibility.
You know, before he was drafted, Vince Young got the highest score on the Wonderlic ever. It was like 1600 or something.
He’s so smart, psychiatrists have gone over to his house this week to ask him for advice. True story.
I know one thing for certain: our lives are all richer since we’ve been touched by the magic of watching Vince Young play quarterback in the NFL. He is a delicate, beautiful snowflake; a Monet at a high school art show; a candle in the wind. Never knowing … who to cling to … when the rain set in.
Javon Walker was beaten and robbed in Las Vegas early Monday morning. Soon after, he told his side of the story, during which he claimed to have been attacked in his room at the Bellagio. Now, in a shocking twist predicted by everyone, the Bellagio has confirmed what everyone but The Dirty already knew: Javon Walker's story beaten and robbed in Las Vegas early Monday morning. Soon after, he told his side of the story, during which he claimed to have been attacked in his room at the Bellagio. Now, in a shocking twist predicted by everyone, the Bellagio has confirmed what everyone but The Dirty already knew: Javon Walker's story was probably bullshit. A rep from the hotel:
The facts that have been reported regarding the incident involving Javon Walker are incorrect. I am unable to provide further detail out of respect for the Metro investigation which is currently underway.
Hmmm… who to believe? The pro athlete, or the people with 2000 surveillance cameras located inside and outside their hotel and casino? I may have to think about this one for a picosecond or two.
BONUS RUMOR! "As the rumor/speculation goes, a couple of guys saw Walker spraying Dom Perignon on Saturday night, and then recruited a woman to cozy up to him on Sunday night, and to get him to take her home, or wherever. Once outside, the robbers intervened, knocked Walker out, and took his watch and money." Wow, that sounds way more believable than a feud with Floyd Mayweather. But you have to admit, the Mayweather rumor is way more interesting. Just between you and me, I heard it was skinhead Scientologists. Their alien God demands they collect more bling!
Raiders WR Javon Walker is out of the hospital after suffering a concussion and facial injuries while being robbed early Monday morning. Investigators say that Walker's losses reached six figures.
Walker told investigators that he was approached by at least two people, who put him into a car and beat him. Walker said the robbers took a watch, a necklace and other jewelry worth an estimated $100,000… Walker told police he was at a number of locations Sunday night but was unable to give them a timeline. Officials at Body English, a nightclub inside the Hard Rock Cafe, said Walker was at their club until between 3 and 3:30 a.m. They denied published reports in Las Vegas that Walker left Body English at 6:30 a.m.
As for the rumors that it was boxer Floyd Mayweather's henchmen who beat him up, The Dirty's Nik Richie claims that they are "completely FALSE." To prove it, he prints a statement from Walker that doesn't address the rumor at all:
“I was just back at my room and at about 5:30 in the morning I got a knock at the door. I opened it and 3 guys with guns were there. They cracked me in the head a few times, knocking me unconscious. They then robbed me of everything I had; my watch, money, everything! Somehow they got me to a car and dropped me off in the street. That’s what happened.”
I'm not going to try to punch holes in Walker's account because I wasn't there (honest!), but IF that story is true, Walker got jumped by the dumbest thugs in the world. "All right! He's unconscious! No, don't leave him in the room where he won't be found for several more hours! Let's carry him to the elevator, across the casino floor, and down to our car so that we can dump him on the street!"
Raiders wide receiver Javon Walker (pictured here spraying the crowd at Tryst Body English on Saturday Sunday night) was found unconscious just off the strip in Las Vegas, where he was the victim of an apparent robbery early Monday morning.
Police said Walker suffered an orbital fracture; They are unsure how the receiver sustained his injuries.
I'm not a detective, but I would wager that it was a large blunt object, such as a fist, a lead pipe, or my penis. I would also wager that Javon no longer has that watch.
Fox 5 of Las Vegas reports that Walker was out at the Hard Rock until 6:30 a.m. on Monday morning, and that his first round of champagne cost $15,000. If that seems like a lot, then perhaps there's some kernel of truth to the *unfounded rumor* on this message board: that Walker "got into a bidding war with Floyd Mayweather with champagne but floyd had 50 bottles of crystal and won. And later on [Mayweather's] entourage found javon on the street and beat his ass." (UPDATE: It's also rumored here.) I present that only as a rumor and nothing more, so please don't treat it as anything but that. Another hot rumor: Gore Vidal is the next Deadspin editor.
Actually, I want apologize for that headline (but not for ridiculing TO's alleged suicide attempt, because that was intended). By referring to the Raiders' newest wide reciever exclusively by his first name, I'm insinuating that Javon Walker–the same guy that Brett Favre ran out of Green Bay when he bitched about his contract–is among the elite at what he does. He's not. But the Raiders have no use for your logic and reason, not when they have all this cash to give away.
Tired of being teased by the rest of the league after giving Tommy Kelly that ginormous contract, the Raiders may have one-upped themselves by giving oft-disgruntled receiver Javon Walker a six-year, $55 million contract that guarantees $16 million and will be worth $27 million in the first three years.
So a guy that missed 8 games last year with a leg injury got a fatter contract than Randy Moss AND Bernard Berrian. Holy shit, free agency is just out of control this year. In fact, the Jets just called and offered me $10 million over three years. I'm thinking of holding out for fifteen. –Monday Morning Punter
Scene: The sideline of last night's BCS Championship Game. LSU leads Ohio State going into halftime.
Troy Smith: [unintelligible]
Chris Myers: WHAT?
Troy Smith: [unintelligible]
Chris Myers: YOU'LL HAVE TO SPEAK UP, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER JAMARCUS' SWEATER!!!
[Awful Announcing; better photo at the Postmen]
