After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Boy Meets World, et al.), we decided to dedicate a Sports On TV column to a show the entire UPROXX network loves — ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,’ FX’s delightfully cruel comedy that has its own page of recaps and commenter badges on the UPROXX mothership.

The show’s use of Philadelphia is at least as comprehensive as ‘The Wire’s’ use of Baltimore, and all of the important Philly area teams and icons have made an appearance on the show … the Eagles, the Flyers, the Phillies, the Phillie Phanatic. ‘It’s Always Sunny’ also launched the worldwide popularity of GREEN MAN, who you may know as “that a-hole in the morphsuit at any sporting event.” It’s an important thing they’re doing, so we’re here to talk about it.

Things we have to apologize for in advance: crude language, situations meant for mature audiences and getting the “Flipadelphia” song stuck in your head again.

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This video showed up on our tip line a few minutes ago, with the subject, “the most uproxx video i’ve seen”. I don’t think it’s even a contest.

‘All Star Bowling Trick Shots’ combines everything UPROXX loves: Funny Or Die videos, trick shot videos, celebrities doing weird stuff (like Craig Robinson dunking, or John Goodamn, or all intents and purposes the most bowling-related celebrity in the video, passing a bowling ball with a trampoline), Aubrey Plaza, kinda-crummy hip hop music … all it needs is for someone to turn it into an animate GIF gallery with subtitles and it’s our jobs in a nutshell. Oh, and Kate Upton should be there. And corgis.

Anyway, there’s nothing I can say about this video that isn’t trumped by watching it, so check it out below. Oh, I can say one thing: You are awesome, ‘Home Improvement’s’ Richard Karn, and you should be in everything. There. That felt good.

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The Phillie Phanatic (a person/bird/thing I legitimately love more than most members of my family) is out for revenge. After traveling home to the Galapagos Islands to learn about his heritage and selflessly building homes for the less fortunate, what does he find? That a recent poll from the celebrity Davie-Brown Index ranked him as only the second-best mascot in the game … behind Mr. Met.

And yeah, I’m guessing the poll was 80% New Yorkers naming the only mascot they could remember, but that’s a travesty. A Jim Henson creation who has set the bar for mascot excellence for almost 40 years finishes behind a guy with a baseball head, because “baseball”. A f**king disgrace.

The Phanatic paid a visit to the New York Mets announce booth to address the situation, if we take “address the situation” to mean “polish Gary Cohen’s head” and make people wear cheesesteak hats. At least he got Cohen to say he likes his with whiz. The Phanatic isn’t as aggressive as I’d like him to be.

Video is below.

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Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a sh*t about the rules? Mark it zero!

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Links

The 10 Things We Learned From The 2012 NBA All-Star Game - 1 Thing We Learned From The Slam Dunk Contest: the only dunk that exists is “jumping over things”. [Smoking Section]

Liverpool Fan Pokes Himself In The Eye, Continues Cheering - Been there, done that. I’ve also cheered through accidentally getting punched in the balls, but that might just’ve been Cleveland. [High Definite]

Vick Ballard Runs, He Slides … - Now we need footage of Andrew Luck playing ‘Rattle Me Bones’. Alternate joke: RG3 is great at ‘Shark Attack’. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

20 Hilarious/Useful “Walking Dead” GIFs - I was hoping this’d be nothing but gifs of people talking. pGamma Squad]

The Best Of Danny DeVito’s #Frank Reynolds - I’ll never say “trash” the same way again. [UPROXX]

Photos from the ‘The Adventures of Pete and Pete’ Reunion - Toby Huss is one of the 10 people in the world I’d most like to meet. Also, holy sh*t this is basically the greatest thing. [Warming Glow]

Must Watch: Jean Dujardin’s French surfer rap - Forget Jean Dujardin, let’s find video of everything Bérénice Bejo has ever done. And Uggie, minus all the Frasier. [Film Drunk]

So This Happened: Bryan Cranston Wore Breaking Bad Chuck Taylors To An Awards Show - Stay off of my turf in those shoes.. [UPROXX]

With any luck, Jim Rash’s Oscar win will be great news for Community - And with any luck, Alison Brie will take over for Amanda Seyfried and win an Oscar for being constantly nude as Linda Lovelace. Perfect world, blah blah. [FARK]

10 Awesome Animals Walking On Two Legs - So what? I walk on two legs all the time. [The FW]

The Best Interview About a Sex Shop Fire You’ll Ever See - I just picture Pee-wee Herman running out of the store with a bunch of dildos in his hands and collapsing. [Brobible]

Eight Disturbing Music Videos You May Have Missed - I’m pretty unhappy to live in a world where people haven’t seen Aphex Twin videos. That’s sorta my WHATTA YA MEAN YA NEVER HEARD’A MAYPO moment. [Unreality]

Every link in the “sports” section has a colon in it, so please enjoy the visual from this morning’s links title.

Sports

The Change-Up: Five Fighters We Wish Could Switch Bodies - Anything headed by a picture of Crush in her underwear gets a spotlight in the morning links. I wish I could switch bodies with Gina Carano. Also, part of me wishes Gina and Brock Lesnar were my parents. [Cage Potato]

Ed: The World’s Worst Baseball Movie - They should’ve done one of these “animal plays sports” movies with every character from “Friends”. I think MVP: Most Valuable Primate could’ve been even better with Matthew Perry breaking out “could he BE any better at hockey?” [Josh's Websight]

LOLNFL: Training Camp 2011, Part 2 - One thing I’ve never been good at on the Internet is adding big white letters to pictures to make them funny. I’m not knocking it, I just don’t know how to do it. Like, if I see a picture of Tom Brady all I can think to put over it is “TOM BRADY FOOTBALL”. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

The NBA Lockout Report: Ron Artest To Play In Britain Next Year - Finally, Peace comes to the UK. Maybe he has no intentions of playing basketball and just wants to break somebody’s window and steal their blu-ray of Rango. POLITICAL UNREST~! [Smoking Section]

With Leather

The Professional Wrestling Divas Guide to Fantasy Football Tight Ends - I’m happy to have helped with this installment of Burnsy’s Bad Advice. It got Chickbuster AJ onto the list and let me upload the greatest picture of Maryse ever. At least, the greatest work-safe one. [With Leather]

Green Eggs And Cam - Still waiting for somebody to notice the photoshop. Getting people to comment on regular sports blog posts is like translating doggone Shakespeare! [With Leather]

Jason Terry Is Livin’ De Life - And if you ain’t readin’, shorty, then you’re part of the hype. He said he’s livin de life, he said he’s livin de life. Repeat. [With Leather]

Hulk Hogan Weighed in on the UK Riots - Hulk’s about to get a naked picture of his daughter for his birthday (not a joke), so read your last chance ever to take him seriously. Because, uh, you’re still doing that. [With Leather]

Not Sports

Naturally Tyler Perry Gets His Own Cable Network, Jesus Weeps - The best joke on UPROXX all week is in this, comparing The Tyler Perry Channel to Hamsterdam from “The Wire”. I can’t wait for six full hours of “Meet The Browns”, though. [Smoking Section]

The John Stamos Guide to Cuddling - Step 1: Have Mercy. [College Humor]

The Ten Most Vile Actions of the Paddy’s Pub Gang on It’s Always Sunny - S.C.R.A.P.S. really needs to be a real acronym. This list is a great reminder that these people have been getting paid well to do things like building a literal sh*t-hole for the last seven years. [Warming Glow]

This Week in Posters: When Diagonals Attack! - Diagonal is the new Blue And Orange. Be sure to click through and watch the trailer for Disney’s weird, naturalist remake of Powder, which exists for some reason. All that trailer needed to make it perfect was “Chasing Cars”. [Film Drunk]

I don’t see what the big deal is here. It’s not like this three-year-old getting bombed at a Phillies game is gonna get behind the wheel and drive home. The Sporting Blog reports that the kid might be only 3 years of age. At this pace, he’ll be killing a bottle of Jack before noon by the time he’s 10. But if he’s anything like Lenny Dykstra, he probably will. I’m a fan of the move. With Phillies fans drinking sooner, they’ll all become impotent by the time they’re 13. That’s great, since 13 is the typical age where they settle down and have children, you see. But yeah, that kid’s parents must be a real couple of boobs…