If AC Milan star Mario Balotelli is best known for anything it’s being an amazing soccer player. After that, it’s probably being a bit of a skirt-chasing party animal and his relationship(s) with Raffaella Fico. And a close runner-up to that is being the target or horrific, inexcusable racial hate at the hands of opposing fans and media outlets. And then maybe his ridiculous camouflage Bentley, because that’s what I always think of when someone mentions his name.

Then again, some people might also suggest that he’s best known for being a headache and malcontent with a history of strange behavior, but he has almost always shrugged that off. Perhaps he’s also shrugging off this weekend’s latest run of headaches, which included a yellow card, tantrum and a probable fine from the Italian government.

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Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli is only 22-years old, and as the face and presumable future of Manchester City and the Italian National Team, it’s safe to say that he has a long career ahead of him. But with so much success already coming at such a young age, Balotelli has seen his fair share of controversy, from the racial taunts of opposing teams at Euro 2012 to the daily tabloid reports on European websites and in trashy gossip rags. Of course we sympathize with him for the former and we love him for the latter, because athletes who recover from losing Europe’s biggest soccer tournament by partying with beauty queens in the wake of a paternity scandal brought about by one of soccer’s most notorious WAGs is stronger than a fresh pot of coffee to us.

But I mention Balotelli today not because he broke up with his pregnant girlfriend, Rafaella Fico, yet again because they can’t agree on where to have the baby and he allegedly can’t keep his striker in his Umbros. Instead, I’m bringing him up because – Dude, what the hell did you do to your Bentley?

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Last week (Jesus, has it only been a week?), we caused a viral Internet dancestorm when a clip of sexy Australian hurdler Michelle Jenneke and the admittedly sorta tasteless follow-up of animated GIFs and slow motion video started showing up everywhere. No, seriously, everywhere. Everyone from The Huffington Post to Daily Mail UK and Yahoo! copy-pasted the story and declared us perverts

Hey, at least we didn’t ask her to pose nude for us, then try to guilt her into it by saying we’d give money to her track team.

Jenneke was even reportedly asked by Sex.com to pose nude, but for a charity of course. According to a press release on XBIZ.com, the website offered Jenneke an offer to pose nude for a “sizable donation” to the Australian Sports Commission (ASC).

“She’s the right amount of cute and sexy, not to mention her body is clearly in peak condition,” Sex.com spokesperson Martin Ellison said. “Michelle Jenneke has shown a sex appeal that’s uncommon in female athletes and we want Michelle to know that she can use her sexuality to not only raise her profile but also benefit athletes all over her country.” (via IBTimes.com)

We also never once thought to put a fat Italian guy in women’s track and field clothes and have him parody Jenneke’s infectious enthusiasm and win (her win, I feel the need to emphasize) by flailing his arms around and “running like a girl” to disco music. Still, this happened:

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Perhaps we jumped the gun a little when it was reported that Mario Balotelli – just one day after Italy lost to Spain in the Euro 2012 Final – was ready to embrace his role as a proud daddy when his ex-girlfriend Raffaella Fico announced that she was pregnant with his baby. After all, it would require a great deal of certainty on his part that the child is indeed his, as they’d been broken up for a few months. Also, she didn’t announce it, so much as she sold the story to tabloids.

Plus, he’s only 21-years old, incredibly wealthy, and one of the most famous soccer superstars on the planet. So yeah, on second thought, he’d like to see a paternity test first.

But today he said in statement that he would only ”accept full responsibility” for the baby after a DNA test proved he was the father.

”I will accept full responsibility after a paternity test. I don’t really want to speak publicly about my private life but I find that I have to explain once and for all, the nature of my relationship with Raffaella Fico.” (Via the Sun)

Well that’s a very mature and reasonable way of looking at it. What’s that, he’s not done? Okay, well go right on, Mario.

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His words, not mine.

The first thing you need to know (and if you care, you probably already know) is that Spain skunked Italy 4-0 on Sunday, winning the Euro 2012 trophy and establishing themselves as one of the best soccer teams ever.

In doing so the Spanish also established a record three tournament victories in a row having also triumphed at Euro 2008 and the 2010 World Cup.

We may be witnessing the greatest team in football history, one that threatens to put the Brazilians in the shade. (via The Sun)

The second thing is that part of “success” sounds like “sex”, so when you’re excited and trying to spit out out, you occasionally boast about how Spain’s national team has tons and tons of sex. That’s what happened to BBC’s Alan Shearer, and though he quickly corrected himself I’m moving forward with the image of Spain (as a whole) plowing women so thoroughly and effectively that the British guy in the background just kinda makes an impressed face and gives a thumbs up.

The Freudian slip is blow.

Sorry, below.

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Soccer racism is something we rarely talk about at With Leather, because 1) it’s one of those ridiculous, inexcusable traditions hanging on as “part of the sport” because people in Europe never officially got a Civil Rights movement, and 2) we never write about soccer. But soccer racism is real, and when it’s not seeping out in the form of “monkey” chants or black players having bananas thrown at them, it shows up in Italian newspaper cartoons. I shouldn’t have to explain why the above comic picturing Italian footballer Mario Balotelli as a giant ape is awful, unless you’re one of those people who thought that LeBron James Vogue cover was just beautiful people showing passion.

Anyway, Mario Balotelli (pretty accurately described by Rumors & Rants as “Italy’s Ron Artest”) is King Kong and that picture went through at least five stages of publication before showing up in a newspaper without anyone thinking it was a bad idea. Gazzetta dello Sport eventually issued an apology, kind of, but … well, read it yourself.

Gazzetta acknowledged its mistake, saying: “It wasn’t our cartoonist’s best product. In these times we need a bit more moderation, caution and good taste. But we have always fought against racism and condemned booing against Balotelli as unacceptable.”

At least now we know who’d win a fight between Mario Balotelli and Hideki Matsui, right?

Racist and prejudiced cartoons and nicknames are the “black face Halloween costume” of journalism — they’re a bad idea and you’re pretty stupid for not just knowing it. Plus, the only reason you’re doing it is for shocked publicity, which those of us who DON’T want to draw black people as apes end up having to report on. Is “Mario Balotelli is an ape” really the most creative thing you can come up with? Put five more minutes of effort into the process and you’ll come up with something better. Hell, here’s a freebie: draw him drinking a bunch of urine.

As a bonus, here’s a clip of Balotelli accidentally drinking somebody’s urine.

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