Speculation has been running rampant on sites where “Lindsay Lohan has gross teeth” is news for weeks, and it’s about to become official: Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian are divorcing. If you just screamed “GET OUT” and shoved your computer with both hands, you are awesome.

From The Scoop:

TMZ is reporting that Kim K is expected to file for divorce Monday from her husband, and she’ll cite the cause as “irreconcilable differences,” and list the day of separation as Oct. 31, 2011. Also, Ryan Seacrest offered up a tweet confirming the news, saying Kardashian is filing for divorce.

The trouble-in-paradise rumor mill has been churning overtime on this one, and the couple’s decision to spend Halloween apart seemed to be a final nail in the coffin.

I’m pretty mad about the Halloween thing myself, as Kim was dressed as the Batman & Robin version of Poison Ivy but Kris as the COOL PAHTY Arnold Schwarzenegger variant of Mr. Freeze was nowhere to be found.

I think we should look back on the two-ish months of Kardashian-Humphries-Kardashian wedded bliss and consider our lessons learned. The first lesson is that no matter how reprehensible these people seem, no matter how little they deserve to be famous, they are real, living people who deserve the same respect and privacy as you and me. Lesson two is that the E! Network is faker than pro wrestling, and that everyone on it more human than Lou the Chihuahua should be followed around by the “YOU’RE A BIG FAT PHONY” character from ‘Family Guy’ at all times. Lesson three, Kim Kardashian earned $17.9 million to marry a guy, turn it into a series of cable television specials and divorce him 72 days later but it is gay men and women in love who are ruining the sanctity of marriage. Lesson four, the NBA Lockout has gone on long enough for one of its players to get married and divorced. Lesson five, Kim and Reggie Bush are this century’s Romeo and Juliet, except they end up together and everyone around them dies.

Next season on ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’, Kim gets introduced to Tim Tebow and the sparks fly.

When Shaquille O’Neal signed with the Boston Celtics for a two-year contract to presumably close out his career, it marked the sixth team that he would play for in his illustrious career as one of the most dominant centers in the game. And seeing as he has a tendency to leave his previous fan bases less than thrilled with his words, the Big Thrower Under the Bus is trying his hardest to be a popular fella in Beantown. For the past few weeks he’s been popping up all over town, quick with a smile and glad to take pictures with everyone, which is what he did over the weekend when he crashed a couple’s wedding.

According to NESN.com, Shaq waltzed into the wedding of Kristen and Wes Schifone, who were of course thrilled to have the superstar interrupt. He took pictures with the wedding party and guests, and he even showed up the next morning for brunch, with a reporter from the Boston Globe. Later, he traveled to Aruba for their honeymoon with a photographer from Swank.

But is Shaq’s mouth still getting him bad press after the jump?

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