- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

R.I.P. Peyton Manning - Gone too soon. He was one of the greats! Once we’ve stopped Kony, we’ll never stop remembering you. [KSK]

Peyton Manning Is a Great Tipper - In contrast, Mark Shapiro of the Cleveland Indians once tipped me four dollars on 25. Danny Ferry tipped me 7 on 35. I guess Cleveland sports guys use the tipping chart. [The FW]

The 3 Best DJing Apps Out Now - I downloaded all three of these just so I could walk into a room and yell, “DJ BLUNTZ IS IN THE BUIL-DING!” [Smoking Section]

TV Network Power Rankings: What’s Their Greatest Season Ever? - Every time I read “Power Rankings” I read it as “Power Rangers”, so I got upset when I clicked these and didn’t see Galaxy anywhere. [Warming Glow]

Valve Is Not Making a Game Console. It’s Making Something Better - They’re making a wonderful dream where Half-Life 2: Episode 3 was released four years ago and Valve never beat us to death with delays. [Gamma Squad]

Patricia Heaton (The Mom From ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’) Makes A Staggering A$s Of Herself On Twitter - Hey G-Town Gal: When you become rich, you convince yourself that you “did it right” and everyone else is making ridiculous mistakes! Don’t have compassion or perspective, plz! [UPROXX]

The Improbable Rise And Unsurprising Fall Of LulzSec - The FBI was trying to beat down Tommy Dreamer, but the lights went out, and when they came on SABU HAD MADE HIS RETURN TO THE ECW ARENA. [UPROXX]

AVENGERS ACHTUNG! Downey chews scenery in the German Avengers trailer - My favorite member of DIE AVENGERS is DIE HULK. [Film Drunk]

Will You Be Buying Apple’s New, Improved iPad? - Yes, because I have a girlfriend with brand loyalty and nothing better to buy. [Smoking Section]

The 9 Funniest Former ‘Daily Show’ Correspondents - Never appearing on this list: Aasif Mandvi. Thanks for your weird voice and helping ruin ‘The Last Airbender’, jerk. [HuffPost Comedy]

Brazilian late-night shows are a far sight better than their American counterparts: Exhibit A - Exhibit B, they freaky with big ol’ booties and they thongs? Blue yellow and green! [FARK]

You’re the Vulgarian, You F*ck: Our Favorite Verbal Film Fights | The 2011 Fun Oscars - Robert Guillaume vs. Morgan Freeman in Lean On Me is still my favorite. I don’t have time for Mrs. Elliott’s problem! [Pajiba]

Seriously though, big ups to Biggie Smalls Danger Guerrero for filling in yesterday so I could enjoy my birthday. On today’s schedule: morning links, then eight straight posts about pro wrestling.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

The Best Of #Sterling Archer Kicks Off UPROXX Archer Week - Yuuuuuuuup. [UPROXX]

5 Elseworlds Comics That Should Be Made Into Video Games - Steampunk everything! Or, I want a game where I’m Ma and Pa Kent and I have to drive around avoiding nails. [Gamma Squad]

Quentin Tarantino’s Top 11 Films of 2011 - I’m not sure I want to live in a world where one of our best filmmakers thinks Hugo and Green Lantern are on the same level. I don’t want to hear Kurosawa nudge somebody and say “hey, I liked 12 Angry Men, but I also liked Plan 9“. [Film Drunk]

The Reasons Louis C.K. Will Never Host the Golden Globes Are Exactly Why He Should Host the Golden Globes - I’m not sure how Ricky Gervais settled into his weird role of guy Hollywood hates but approves of, and why The Average White Guy We All Agree On couldn’t just slide right into it. [Warming Glow]

Apple iPad 3 Reportedly Releasing March 2012 - Hello, Apple thing Destiny wants. Goodbye, 700 more dollars. [Smoking Section]

Ever Wondered What It Would Look Like If A Bunch Of Playboy Playmates Tebowed? - In case you missed this yesterday, Burnsy accomplished one of my career goals: getting Holly Madison’s entire side boob on With Leather’s main page. New career goal: get it in my house. [With Leather]

Stephen Colbert Runs First Presidential Campaign Ad, Accuses Mitt Romney Of Being A Serial Killer - It’s an easy joke, but he’s at least as qualified for this as the people actually running, and he’d do something wacky like legalize pot without doing something wacky like racism. [UPROXX]

25 People Who Think MLK Day Is Milk Day - At least they aren’t Virginia, trying to shoehorn in two Confederate guys so we celebrate “Lee Jackson King” day. A girl I went to high school with once asked me, “who’s Lee Jackson King?” True, sad story. [Buzzfeed]

13 Artists Have Extraordinarily Bad Luck - Schleprock had better be on here somewhere. [Popcrush]

The 20 Biggest Second Week Drops in Box Office History* - Low budget horror films are like cinematic dubstep. [Pajiba]

What Is This Awkwardly Smiling Guy Doing with Mila Kunis? - It must be awful to be Mila Kunis right now. Sure, you’re rich and popular and beautiful, but Jesus, every other moment of your life is somebody standing next to you, smiling like this. The horror. [Brobible]

Trolling Election Billboards - Mitt Romney’s slogan should be “FOR I AM MITT ROMNEY, YOU SEE!” It’d be better than whatever TOGETHER FOR AMERICA bullsh*t he’d come up with otherwise. [High Definite]

Links

College Football’s Top 50 Plays Of 2011 - I did a version of this list, but when I was done I noticed it contained 35 Tim Tebow plays. Yes, part of me still thinks of Tim Tebow as a college football player, sort of how I still think all my ex-girlfriends are nice people. [High Definite]

“The Ride” – Review Of Drake’s Take Care - What a terrible record. Indianapolis Colts. [Smoking Section]

Joe Clark Is Pissed: “Lean On Me” Actor Busted With 200 Pounds Of Weed - BUY THE WEED, SON. COME ON, DO IT. DO IT EXPEDITIOUSLY. [Smoking Section]

It Was Bound to Happen: ‘Fear Factor’ Incest - This is easily the hottest Fear Factor has ever been. It should just be porn fears now, like to win money you have to get Brazzer’d in the chest for 5 minutes. [Warming Glow]

Bisexual Amber Heard urges other Hollywood stars to come out of the closet. With a helpful picture of how this might be achieved - Amber Heard and Chaz Bono walk the same road, except Amber’s is covered with rose petals and lined with people going OH GOD AMBER HEARD YOU ARE SO PRETTY AND GREAT even if what she does is exclusively terrible. You have an awesome life, Amber Heard. [FARK]

The Internet’s 10 Best Ron Swanson Tributes Of 2011 - Give me all the Ron Swanson tributes you have. [UPROXX]

Foo Fighters Concert Causes Minor Earthquake Tremors In New Zealand - Why’d you have to go and let them die? [UPROXX]

Official Amazing Spider-Man Site Is Go - Where are you when we need you most, Wizard Magazine? Spider-Man’s urine eyes are worrying me. [Gamma Squad]

The Golden Globe Nominations are… kind of great? - Hugo for Best Picture. It’s like that other movie about silent film, but not up its own asshole. [Film Drunk]

The 30 Most Important Cats Of 2011 - I refuse to believe my cat isn’t on here somewhere. [Buzzfeed]

10 Adorable Videos of Animals Using iPads - Again, my cat should be on here somewhere, although I guess lying on an iPad isn’t “using” it. [The FW]

Response Piece: Ten Subtle Ways to Tell Him that His Penis is Too Small - TT_TT [Pajiba]

Why This Is Great

1. In a world where Tim Tebow could throw a 100 yard touchdown pass to a great white shark through some combination of video editing and Powerade®, it’s great to see people actually setting up stuffed animals and hitting them with soccer kicks. If this was doctored in any way it would be a waste of time, but as it exists now, it’s … well, still a total waste of time, but a fun one.

2. I’m going to buy a pack of glow sticks and go out raving to that Angry Birds theme remix right now.

3. The video does not involve people making basketball shots from a great distance or getting super, super serious about it on Twitter.

4. When I saw the headline “Soccer players bring Angry Birds to life” on the UPROXX main page this morning I couldn’t grasp how they were going to do it; it was either soccer players in Halloween costumes dog-piling each other and breaking two-by-fours or someone was actually throwing birds at pigs. Thankfully neither of those things happen, even if the video devolves into people kicking balls at a dude in costume and making us listen to them laugh about it.

5. It’s way better than “Soccer players bring Words With Friends to life” video, which is just Europeans playing Scrabble.

Read the rest of this entry »

With the recent announcement that Apple would be developing a 7-inch version of the iPad, I couldn’t help but wonder two things:1) Isn’t that just an iPhone? And B) What’s going to happen to all of the current 10-inch iPads currently selling like hot cakes? Well, it turns out the answers are simple: yes and fat people phones. The governing body of Japan’s sumo association will issue iPads to the wrestlers to use as phones because their fingers are too large to use standard cellular phones. Cellular phone? More like CELLULITE phone! *bowtie spins, kimono blows open*

Turns out the pleasingly plump grapplers have been missing important information about matches because some of their “stables” don’t have readily available Internet, fax or telephone access. This is Japan we’re talking about, right? Thankfully the iPad can also keep a steady flow of tentacle porn downloads, too.

You have dishonored my family and country, Globe and Mail:

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Pacman Jones, who I’m supposed to be calling “Adam” these days, was reinstated to play in the NFL by Der Kommissar Goodell today, and he awesomely received the news while at a local Hooters.  From the DMN’s Cowboys Blog:

Jones was at Hooters eating a chicken sandwich when he got off the phone with league and team officials regarding his suspension…

Here’s what Jones had to say about getting reinstated: “It feels good man, you know, to get a second chance and I just have to take advantage of it… I need to keep doing what I’ve been doing to get reinstated staying with myself and my teammates and staying away form those knuckleheads and just stay focused.”

Eating at Hooters is proof that Pacman is on the road to recovery.  Hooters is the methadone to the heroin that is strip clubs.  The addict is left with a boring substitute that in no way matches the high of paying a silicone-breasted stranger who smells like bubble gum and cigarettes to rub her ass on your groin.  The upside is that fewer people bring guns to Hooters.  Well, actually, that might not apply in Texas.

[PFT]