Unrelated but wonderful.

By now you’re probably aware that the International Olympics Committee – long known for being a bastion of integrity and morality – has decided to do away with amateur wrestling as a Summer Olympic event. You know this because you read about it in a rational news source or Joe Rogan rage-Tweeted your feed or because Chael Sonnen screamed it into your eye holes, but either way it was bad news. And it sucks because there are dudes and young ladies around the world who busted their asses and devoted their formative years to something that they really loved. Now they’ll all probably turn to a life of crack and crime.

At least that’s what TV has taught me.

There are some people, though, who don’t care about who is hurt, and they just see this as a reality. Ultimately, we’re all going to have to get used to not watching amateur wrestling every four years, and guys like UFC President Dana White think that won’t be a problem because nobody was watching it anyway.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Nope."

Wrestling is not a sport. No, I’m not talking about pro wrestling (for once). I’m talking about wrestling wrestling.

Following the removal of baseball from the Olympics in a quest to get Brandon to stop watching it completely, International Olympic Committee leaders are planning to drop amateur wrestling from the 2020 Olympics. You know, the sport that has been part of the games since 1896 and kinda-sorta represents the entire “man vs. man” thing the Olympics (and sports in general) are going for.

Oddly, the angle the Los Angeles Times write-up of the story takes is that modern pentathlon is being removed, and how nobody gives a shit about modern pentathlon, and what modern pentathlon is. They just lump wrestling in with table tennis and badminton somewhere in the middle.

The IOC will also review preparations for the Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia — less than a year away — and the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janeiro.

The sports expected to be on the hot seat for removal besides modern pentathlon: Taekwondo, wrestling, badminton and table tennis.

The report analyzes more than three dozen criteria, including television ratings, ticket sales, anti-doping policy and global participation and popularity.

… keeping in mind that synchronized swimming, handball, race walk, shooting and “Nordic Combined” will all still happen at their appropriate Olympics, just not wrestling or baseball. Pretty soon the Olympics is just going to be gymnasts posing on the sidelines of a soccer game, holding up a big sign that says PLEASE LIKE SOCCER, BECAUSE OLYMPICS.

But hey, golf is joining the Olympics in 2016. That’s exciting and athletic, right?

While I was blithering on like some handsome buffoon yesterday about the Turtle of Michael Phelps’ entourage complaining that the celebrated swimmer was spending all of his money on poker and not shoes for his friends, I was missing out on a huge scandal. Apparently some nogoodnik released two photos from Phelps’ upcoming Louis Vuitton campaign, and that’s a huge offense to the International Olympic Committee.

How serious is it? Phelps could actually lose some medals if it’s determined that he knew about this leak.

A new IOC regulation, called Rule 40, prohibits athletes from appearing in ads for non-Olympic sponsors from July 18 to Aug. 15. According to the IOC’s 19 page explainer, Rule 40 is designed to prevent ambush marketing, defined as non-Olympic sponsors trying to associate themselves with the Olympic brand. (Via CNBC)

The above image was leaked by a website in Barcelona on August 7, which is obviously much earlier than the IOC sponsorship rule allows. From there, a bevy of other websites ran the bathtub pic and another (after the jump), including the perennial Pulitzer contenders at The Daily Mail, which, according to CNBC, even managed to spell the entire title of the article correctly.

So who the hell released these photos? Will Phelps actually lose any medals? Who wears a bathing suit in the bathtub? Trust me, those questions are the least of Phelps’ worries.

Read the rest of this entry »